Nothing like a big story — and this week's unveiling of Apple's new cellphone was a huge story for the tech press — to sort out the players. Who got access? Who's stuck explaining embarrassingly wrong predictions? Who got caught up in the notorious reality distortion field of Apple's boss, Steve Jobs? The answers, after the jump.

John Markoff, veteran tech reporter at the New York Times, did suggest the new Apple phone might have a touch screen. So points for that. But he relied on an old rumor, based on a patent filing, that the phone might have "Jobs-inspired refinements like a sleek ceramic case". Wrong. The front is glossy black; the back is brushed silver. Markoff, who writes less for the Times than he used to, seem to have received no briefing before the announcement; on Steveday itself, Apple showed the device to his colleague, David Pogue.

David Pogue did get a hands-on with the iPhone — for a whole hour, he claimed. But at a dinner for tech reporters in San Francisco on Tuesday night, his gushing instant review was the subject of much mockery. It's worth mentioning, also, that Pogue, despite his excellent access, dismissed the idea of a cellphone from the company as recently as September. A victim of Apple's disinformation campaign?

The San Jose Mercury News, the hometown newspaper, appeared to be off Apple's invitation list. Not clear whether that was to do with the Silicon Valley newspaper's long-declining influence, or coverage of the options scandal besetting Steve Jobs. Whatever. The Merc relied heavily on rehashed copy from the Associated Press, the wire service, an admission of defeat.

Credit to both Lev Grossman of Time Magazine and Peter Lewis of Fortune. Both reporters, briefed ahead of Tuesday's unveiling of Apple's new cellphone, pulled back the veil on Apple's media manipulation. "I don't call Steve, Steve calls me," wrote Grossman in his excellent intro.

Walt Mossberg, the only reviewer who can make or break a gadget, wrote a few generous notes on the new device, but refused to give Apple's iPhone a full review in today's Wall Street Journal. "It"s worth noting that Mossberg declined to write about it based off of such a limited preview," says an admiring competitor. "Such a class act: holding steady, resisting the reality distortion field."

The Magic 8-Ball, a pseudonymous tipster with a record of accurate leaks to the Mac trade press over twenty years, got it very wrong. "Will we see the highly anticipated Apple Phone?" he asked. The unambiguous answer: "No."

The media. Losers? Says Josh Quittner, editor of Business 2.0, with remarkable frankness. "All of us. I mean, what a weird fucking day Tuesday was. It was as if we were all participating in a shared consensual hallucination (actually, that was the first definition of "cyberspace," by Gibson.) All these supposedly hardbitten tech reporters wandering around like they were getting laid for the first time. Even I was awestruck. Yesterday morning though, I woke up, and thought: What the fuck was that all about? It's just another phone — not so much better than what's out there, truth be told."

Steve Jobs managed to exceed expectations by releasing Apple's new TV set-top box, and unveiling a cellphone so long rumored that some commentators had given up on it. Sure, a few cynics noted that Apple's announcements had run ahead of the Valley company's ability to ship products to stores. But the Apple CEO, alternately abusive and charismatic, still has an emotional hold on the battered tech press. Says one longtime Apple watcher. "We're all so primed for Steve. And over time, that's only gotten more exaggerated. Who else has that kind of mind control over the populace? He's a remarkable man."

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