Want to know why Orkut never caught on? Google's motto is "don't be evil," not "don't be socially awkward." The programmatic list of "turn ons" it asks users to check off include "sarcasm," "tattoos," "erotica," "skinny dipping," and "long hair." A more perfect glimpse at the Google id won't be found anywhere. Here's the whole thing.

You'll note the list does not include Facebook's option for "random play." We're sure Marissa Mayer is working on that.

My answers? Assertiveness, power, wealth, thunderstorms and thrills. But only 'cause there's no box for Julia Allison and Jakob Lodwick.

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