I normally decline to make predictions, because what really happens is always weirder. But Valleywag's official 2008 list was such a borefest — I thought I was reading BusinessWeek or Battelle — that I cracked. Here's my fearless outlook.

1. TechCrunch, GigaOm, VentureBeat and Read/Write Web will merge into one giant Voltron-like supersite I don't read. Whoops, already happened.
2. Apple evangelists are right: A second-generation Apple TV will have twice the success the first model did. What's two times zero?
3. Google will have the most amazingly innovative layoff ever.

(Illustration by Uncov)

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