By Nicholas Carlson, 1:56 AM on Sun Apr 20 2008, 1,810 views (Edit, to draft, Top, Slurp)

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The dollar's sinking value wasn't the only reason Google crushed Wall Street's expectations for the company's first quarter. The Church of Scientology helped, in its own small way. The church paid for advertising space on YouTube to convey its message that "you are an immortal spiritual being. Your capabilities are unlimited." That is, if you can stomach the olive oil shots and spare a little cash. We're surprised Google's human filters didn't catch the ad. We've heard they're plenty familiar with the way an organization can use crafty words to create false expectations in order to lure warm bodies.