By Jackson West, 8:00 PM on Fri May 2 2008, 542 views (Edit, to draft, Top, Slurp)

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We were ready for Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer to make the first move on Saturday. We were ready on Wednesday. We were ready on Thursday. So was Xobni. So was Mad Ave. Google? Microsoft employees? Not so much, but Ballmer's a man, and men have needs. Maybe he's suffering from performance anxiety — sometimes it's hard to raise one's offer in public. Either way, Steve, be a gentleman and leave $3,000 on the dresser for Jerry — and $1.5 billion for all the other professionals at Yahoo. After all, the walker of Sunnyvale streets has a dealer and a new pimp to pay.