Someone forgot to tell Comcast that by slowing down BitTorrent and only appointing a single Twitter Appeasement Specialist, the company had banished itself to the long tail of failure. The world's most hated ISP reported $632 million in earnings on $8.55 billion in revenue. Wall Street analysts had expected closer to $700 million, but investors kicked the stock upwards anyway. Traders beware: Silicon Valley now has a hundred influencers who will blog Comcast out of business in Q3. Dump now! (P.S. Firefox doesn't think "influencer" is a word.)

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