By Paul Boutin, 1:20 PM on Thu Nov 6 2008, 2,826 views (Edit, to draft, Top, Slurp)

Copy this whole post to another site

Slurp cancel

select site advertising consumerist deadspin defamer fleshbot gay fleshbot gawker gizmodo idolator io9 jalopnik jezebel kotaku lifehacker valleywag artists gawkershop

What's the only thing worse than another "Open Letter to Jerry Yang?" A freaking poem to Jerry Yang. Shakespeare was so much better at this, plus he didn't put his vanity site's URL in the final stanza.

dear mr. yang,
i am double o'trouble
you may remember me
from the 1.0 bubble

you held on to me then
despite all the chaos
please spare me from
the 2.0 layoff

even though times call
for you to be frugal
don't leave me for dead
like your deal with google

i have little saved
i'm facing foreclosure
i NEED this job
to keep my composure

i've increased in value
unlike my shares
plus i have more skills
than ballmer has hairs

i can save yahoo!
i have vision and moxie
and more plans for business
than guy kawasaki

i stood up for you
called bloomberg unfair
when cuban suggested
that you grow a pair

so please spare my job
from the release
wait, what? googles hiring?
i'm outta here, peace

from double o'trouble,
founder of http://www.stealthyourself.com