This Man Is Representing AOL on Live Television

If you work at AOL, here are two people that make more money than you: Chief Executive Prickhole Tim Armstrong, and this guy, David Shing, who is currently appearing on MSNBC to discuss his aimless, ailing company. This is the face of a dying corporation, convulsing as it goes down.

AOL says it couldn't afford its old, superior retirement plan, but it can apparently afford this: "Shingy," as he calls himself over, and over, and over again, is one of those professional nothings. His job title is "Digital Prophet," which means he's gloating about the fact that he has a make believe job at AOL, unlike most tech charlatans, who try to conceal it. Our Skrillex of the Valley is tasked with daytime TV spots, playing a cartoon, pulling nonsense trends and trivialities out of his hair like globs of whatever carcinogen jelly is keeping it aloft like that.

This Man Is Representing AOL on Live Television

If you swabbed the seats at TechCrunch Disrupt, spread it across a petri dish, and dipped that dish in uranium, this man would eventually emerge. But there's no need to wait: he's real, he works on AOL, and they want him on your television, making prophecies.

How many people were laid off to keep the Prophet in black nail polish and laminated trend reports?