An Amazingly Bad IT Job Listing that Borders on Abusive

Tech jobs are often hard, thankless, and generally unpleasant—but rarely do you see a company tell you, straight up, it's going to be miserable. The next systems admin for geeky web comic Penny Arcade certainly has their work cut out of them.

"Given our audience and the job at hand, this could potentially be the most competitive position we ever hire for." OK, the stakes are high. This isn't Boy Scout shit—the company is looking for someone who can dazzle with ethernet:

Most of us would say maybe a little TOO lean, but being pushed to your limit is part of the job. I'm not saying that to try and scare you away OR impress you, but it's in both of our best interests to understand and set expectations properly. If you have boundless energy and desire to work on both creative AND sometimes tedious work but in an environment that just might change your life, perhaps this is the opportunity for you.

Well, this sounds like a lot of work, but hard work is a sign of moral superiority and purifies the soul. Let's read on:

We are quite literally looking for a person that can do four jobs: Web Development, Software Development, Sys Admin, and the (dreaded) GENERAL IT for us here that need help configuring a firewall for a dev kit, etc. Sorry, I know that's the WORST, but it's absolutely part of the gig.

Four jobs in one! That's...

So yeah, we know that's a lot to ask of a person, but all of us here work tremendously hard to do a lot of things, and if you'd like to be at the technical epicenter of it all and don't mind having a really bad sense of work-life balance, this is the job for you.

That's definitely not healthy! I mind. I think most people mind. You should mind. If you don't mind you really need to mind. The blurred boundary between the workplace and private life is in vogue for the tech set, but this is just so transparently sick:

We're terrible at work-life balance. Although work is pretty much your life, we do our absolute best to make sure that work is as awesome as possible so you at least enjoy each and every day here

Christ. They're really hammering on this one. At least the pay must be pretty great if the job is going to obliterate your life, right?

Annual Salary: Negotiable, but you should know up front we're not a terribly money-motivated group. We're more likely to spend less money on salary and invest that on making your day-to-day life at work better.

Please add "not a terribly money-motivated group" to the all-time great list of euphemisms. Cool, sounds good. Other perks include "Periodic bonuses" and a "holiday party," so this is pretty much vocational bliss. Penny Arcade, if I can offer you some advice, please consider hiring someone to run HR, too.

Full listing is below:

**** PLEASE NOTE: YOU HAVE UNTIL DECEMBER 20, 2013 AT 9:00 PM PST TO SUBMIT YOUR APPLICATION. PLEASE FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER AT @RKHOO FOR UPDATES IN CASE EMAIL GETS SENT TO SPAM FOLDERS, ETC. ****

Given our audience and the job at hand, this could potentially be the most competitive position we ever hire for. We're looking for a web developer / software developer / sys admin to join our small family. We're a team of 15-20 people that essentially run Penny Arcade proper, the online store, our fulfillment center, the PAX shows, Child's Play, PATV, and a bunch of other smaller things that no one ever hears about. We rely heavily on outside partners and vendors, but as far as managing and helping run/deploy the technical infrastructure to most of the things we do, we rely on one person. That person is you.

So yes, we run lean. Most of us would say maybe a little TOO lean, but being pushed to your limit is part of the job. I'm not saying that to try and scare you away OR impress you, but it's in both of our best interests to understand and set expectations properly. If you have boundless energy and desire to work on both creative AND sometimes tedious work but in an environment that just might change your life, perhaps this is the opportunity for you.

We are quite literally looking for a person that can do four jobs: Web Development, Software Development, Sys Admin, and the (dreaded) GENERAL IT for us here that need help configuring a firewall for a dev kit, etc. Sorry, I know that's the WORST, but it's absolutely part of the gig.

So yeah, we know that's a lot to ask of a person, but all of us here work tremendously hard to do a lot of things, and if you'd like to be at the technical epicenter of it all and don't mind having a really bad sense of work-life balance, this is the job for you.

Desired Skills and Experience

General Requirements

- You need to have a crazy-person level of attention to detail.

- Strong project management skills, organizational skills and time-management skills.

- A motivated self-starter who can overcome or workaround issues independently.

- Flexibility to travel up to 30% of the time.

- You should have no problems working in a creative and potentially offensive environment.

- Flexibility adapting to deadlines, changing schedules, priorities and unpredictable events in a fast paced environment.

- The ability to communicate and work well in a team environment as well as on an individual basis.

- Must have the ability to prioritize tasks and balance the immediate and long term needs.

- You should have no problem appearing on camera.

- It's rarely we call on it, but if something breaks in the middle of the night, you are expected to be on call to address that issue 24/7.

Some things you should know about this job.

We're terrible at work-life balance. Although work is pretty much your life, we do our absolute best to make sure that work is as awesome as possible so you at least enjoy each and every day here.

And here are some other things we're using to weed people out. It's not fair. I know. Life's not fair.

- A BA/BS or greater degree in Computer Science or a related field

- A minimum of 3 years in development and project management, preferably in a professional workplace

- Strong experience in PHP, MySQL, Javascript (jQuery and AJAX), CSS, Apache

- Strong experience in one of Java, Python, Ruby, or other object-oriented language

- A history of running and configuring multiple-server environments, including load balancers, web accelerators/caching systems, and databases

- A history of running and configuring multiple server environments, load balancers, and varnish.

- You should probably be a fan of Penny Arcade. Probably. Yeah.

COMPENSATION AND BENEFITS:

- Annual Salary: Negotiable, but you should know up front we're not a terribly money-motivated group. We're more likely to spend less money on salary and invest that on making your day-to-day life at work better.

- Full Medical, Vision and Dental

- 401k (SEP) retirement contributions (2% of annual income per year)

- Holiday pay

- Periodic bonuses

- Flexible vacation time

- We're willing to relocate you if need be

Send me your resume via the linked in system. If you don't submit your resume, I won't look at your application. Sorry - I gotta streamline the process.