Candy Crush Going Public, Because Candy Crush Will Always Be Popular

If there's one truism on the internet, it's that once something is well-liked and popular, it remains in that state forever. This is the rationale behind King Digital, the firm behind Candy Crush Saga and, uh, maybe some other things (?) to announce its IPO.

All those times you were too impatient to beat a Candy Crush level yourself and paid a buck for a super sprinkle have given these goons the chutzpah to go public. The Wall Street Journal has details on the filing:

King estimated in its filing Tuesday that its shares were worth $45.61 as of December, which valued the company at about $5.5 billion at the time, based on the number of shares outstanding at the time. That valuation doesn't include, among other things, the value of new shares likely to be created for the IPO. King is likely to seek a stock market value greater than that in the IPO, a person familiar with the matter said.

That would be a significantly higher IPO price than Facebook, for a company whose entire existence is based on a fruit-swapping puzzle game. Matty Yglesias over at Slate rightly calls it an "IPO for suckers," betting that this is "a case of founders and early investors trying to cash out while Candy Crush is still popular." And indeed, per the Journal, "The company intends to allow some of its shareholders to sell into the IPO as well, according to the filing." This is a delicious, choco-creme emergency exit for people who know their sugar rush won't last forever.

But what about the suckers left holding the shares? We don't have to ask, sarcastically, what could go wrong, because it has already gone wrong before.