Kirk McDonald, CEO of digital advertising firm PubMatic, took to the WSJ's op-ed section to deliver one message: he's the coolest fuckin' boss you'll never meet, and it's your fault, trembling college senior, that you're not going to be his next employee.
"I'm your next potential dream boss," says Kirk, with his feet propped up on the biggest mahogany desk you've ever seen. There's not even anything in the desk. Maybe some cash and a revolver. Oh yeah, and a truth bomb for you:
I run a cool, rapidly growing company in the digital field, where the work is interesting and rewarding. But I've got to be honest about some unfortunate news: I'm probably not going to hire you.
Sucks, doesn't it? Sorry he's not sorry—you blew it by deciding to learn the wrong things:
This isn't because I don't have positions that need filling. On the contrary, I'm constantly searching for talented new employees, and if someone with the right skills walked into my office, he or she would likely leave it with a very compelling offer. The problem is that the right skills are very hard to find. And I'm sorry to say it, dear graduates, but you probably don't have them.
Coding. The fact that there aren't more computer science grads in the US is a "crisis," says Kirk. He then goes on to suggest how to not be unemployable:
Teach yourself just enough of the grammar and the logic of computer languages to be able to see the big picture. Get acquainted with APIs. Dabble in a bit of Python.
Which, really, is nothing even close to a computer science degree. It also doesn't help that, according to PubMatic's own job listings, most of the coding positions they're looking to fill are in India, so you're really screwed even if you do have a CS degree. Whoops. It also doesn't help that a man in charge of giving other people jobs is the kind of person who would sit down, write something titled "Sorry, College Grads, I Probably Won't Hire You," and then mail it to the Wall Street Journal.
Update: It has been pointed out that McDonald probably had a secretary or other underling deliver the message the Journal. Whether or not this underling has a degree in computer science cannot be confirmed.
[Source photo: Shutterstock]