Quarterly earnings time: Zuck's advertising trian chugga-chugged $1.46 billion in revenue for Q1, a year-over-year increase of 38-percent, with profits up 7-percent. Way to go Zuck—and let's all give ourselves a hand for making it happen.

Sadly for Zuck, all of this money doesn't appear to be enough for beleaguered investors, and FB shares are trading down slightly after hours. Now they're up a little! Phew. [Facebook]