[There was a video here]
When the team behind Connect—a generically named, beautifully designed social app—won a recent pitch competition, they were ecstatic. Nabbing $200,000 and the oozing love of venture capitalists is a reason to keep living. Now let's blast some fucking electro.
The best way to show you will responsibly handle a $200,000 injection into your company: do this. The post-win party went down at the "Connect Stealth Starship," a modest mansion Connect's team inhabits—because who the hell works in an office anymore, accountants?
The main draw of the house, at least for its guests, is a hot tub ("where deals get closed") and adjoining indoor pool. This was the epicenter of that quintessential startup social vibe, an uncomfortable amalgam of fraternity row and hackathon, the confluence of dingy and quirky. Christmas lights and aerial dancers: an aesthetic union that only liquor and coding can justify.
As you can see in the video above, Connect is spending its money wisely. And as you can see in the pile of abandoned clothes left after the party, it must have been worth it.
But what'll leave you feeling dirtier than a lost startup bra is the leering face of TechCrunch's Josh Constine, who not only partied with the Connect team, but actually helped them plan the fete:
Looking for a DJ in SF to play an absurd apartment w a pool on the ground floor tomorrow. House/hip-hop/electro preferred. Will pay. You in?
— Josh Constine (@JoshConstine) March 1, 2014
Knowing Constine's record of editorial independence, it's safe to assume he packed goody bags for each guest and then swept up all the beer cans afterwards. And why not? This is our new world: kids earning six figures for an app, throwing a lavish party, using journalists as assistants, and feeling like kings. Now all they need to do is convince anyone to download Connect.