Actor Ashton Kutcher is unlucky with Latinos, but he's working on really earning that misfortune.

When FriendFeed creator Paul Buchheit talks about "my Gmail," we presume he means that on at least two different levels.

TV's Drew "Dr. Drew" Pinsky has been, like, "OMG" all day today.

New York Times writer Stephanie Clifford had a very mild reaction to her hometown being called "boring" and "disappointingly average." But then that's precisely what you'd expect from a Seattleite, isn't it?

If "Julia Allison" is a brand, then "Please don't send me back to economy" is its defining tagline.

Did you witness the media elite tweet something indiscreet? Please email us your favorite tweets — or send us more Twitter usernames.

Curious about what the whole fuss was about, we spent exactly five minutes this afternoon (for this we are paid!) flipping through, and being flipped through. Who's on the strange, sad thing? Well, your typical gay dudes looking for action. There are also a few depressingly cheap, Eastern Bloc-looking porn ads. But mostly it's just lonely-looking people — in sweaters, wearing glasses, with dogs barking in the background, looking expectant, looking worried, looking bored. Chat Roulette, to us, isn't titillating in the way we thought it might be. Instead it's just a sort of bleak, Alexander Payne-esque reminder of the tedium of life. It's just people sitting, waiting for something to happen. And, you know, one guy jerking off. (Couldn't get that screenshot fast enough, sadly).

Google co-founder Brin and search products VP Marissa Mayer helped christen co-worker Orkut's tenth-floor penthouse on San Francisco's Mint Plaza this past weekend, as we reported yesterday. It turns out co-founder Larry Page may have been there too; his model/Ph.D wife Lucy Southworth certainly was. At the time, we couldn't obtain more than one picture of the event, in part because, according to two tipsters with knowledge of the party, social network founder Orkut told guests not to circulate pictures online. That no doubt had something to do with the "several billionaires" reportedly in attendance.

Inevitably, though, some shots have emerged from the dark corners of Facebook, the Google rival that seems to have something of a lock on the world's most interesting information, at least to gossips like us. (Thank you, tipster who emailed us most of these pics.)

It would appear Orkut wasted no time breaking in his "custom-built party loft," complete (we hear) with elevated dance floor, poles, disco balls, dance lights and an indoor waterfall. There were the male and female strippers, who we're told were professionals. There was a male nude that appears to be an ice sculpture (or maybe glass?). There was a shimmery metal see-through curtain thing, like you might see used as a room divider in a lounge. And there was a logo devoted to Orkut and husband Derek Holbrook.

It was an effort befitting Orkut, whose past fabulousness has included opening Prada, going to BFF Mayer's Sex And The City party, staging disco parties, and appearing in more forbidden pictures, sometimes with strippers. Why he wants to keep all this fun a secret is beyond us. Didn't he hear privacy is dead?

Saturday's party:

We're told these adult dancers are professional. And they're in a professional venue: The poles, stage, lights and disco ball are an integral part of Orkut's new penthouse party pad.

Orkut's husband Derek, on the pole. Oh my.

So it looks like either there was a second lady stripper, or a guest decided to join in the fun.

The guest on the left is Mayer's husband Zach Bogue, only recently taken off the market. In other words: He can look, but he can't touch. On the right, Orkut's brother.

The nude (ice?) sculpture, shot one, from Facebook.

The nude (ice?) sculpture, shot two, which we found yesterday on Twitter but weren't sure it was from this party.

Derek & Orkut. Awwwww. Now back to the strippers!

Ya, it's blurry. But you try taking a surreptitious stripper shot at a party you don't want to get thrown out of.

"Dancer for money, do what you want me to do..."

Metal curtain for the full "club" effect.

Hubby Derek with Larry Page's model/Ph.D wife Lucy Southworth, far right.

This guy is Rhett Butler. Like, literally.

The host, center, with two guests: record producer Jimmy Markee (left) and Yelp account executive Eli Zepeda (right) (Names?)

Lindsay Lohan tried to imagine a world in which she had no privacy, in which her every move was digitally recorded and transmitted to strangers, and in which everyone else knew she hadn't read the news since 2006. So scary.

The Huffington Post's tech editor wondered whether MacWorld Expo has attracted any technology bloggers eager to sacrifice their own time and money to help enrich an abusive, authoritarian leader who holds them in disdain. Not sure where he's going to find someone like that at an Apple event (*cough*).

New York's Lindsay Robertson decided to have fun with the "David Paterson innuendo" newsmeme. Now somebody just has to tie Furry David Paterson to the sheep-demon ad.

Pro tip for Perez Hilton: Try and find a ghostwriter who has some knowledge of celebrity gossip, and a working memory of some portions of the year 2008. Or maybe write your own tweets? LOL, kidding, LOVEYOUxoxox.

New York Times writer Brian Stelter thinks this might be a parody of "the NYT Coffee Guy" rather than the real thing. We think it might be a sporadic but comforting reminder that there is still some nice things about being a Times writer.

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Orkut, in case you've forgotten, is by far the most interesting person to work for the Mountain View, California internet company, where technical skills are valued over all else, resulting in a (mostly) boring army of engineer droids. Orkut's the fun exception.

Sure, the Turkish programmer built Google's also-ran social network, Orkut, a.k.a. "The Facebook of Brazil." But more importantly, the San Francisco partyboy also hired strippers for his previous too-hot-for-the-Web birthday party; been gay-married by his Vogue-errific best friend Marissa Mayer; attended the opening of the local Prada; wore a fabulous sheening suit to the ballet; and is good at making everyone get dressed up and disco.

The Silicon Valley tech scene needs more of this sort of acting out, and the Valley scenesters would seem to agree: We hear Orkut's Saturday party was packed with what techies (inaccurately) call "A Listers," including billionaire Google founder Sergey Brin and very very rich person Mayer (who threw a party of her own the following day, of the Superbowl sort). Here's how one attendee put it:

According to public records of Orkut's holdings, that ten-story-high apartment building would be a posh renovated warehouse at 410 Jessie Street, on San Francisco's newly-remade Mint Plaza. That's directly across the street from the San Francisco Chronicle, the newspaper whose misfortunes some have blamed on none other than... Google.

But Orkut's guests didn't come to dance on graves. The disco-lover installed a raised dance floor, complete with poles and special lights, in his two-level penthouse, according to a source with knowledge of the place. There's also some sort of indoor waterfall, we hear. (Orkut declined to discuss his apartment or party on the phone and never sent a promised email reply.)

Pictures from the latest shindig are, alas, few and far between. Despite his direct financial interest in social networking and the free flow of information online, Orkut banned any network distribution of images from his party. we're told. Irony, that. Anyway, in the photo gallery we've mixed in pictures from an apparent pre-party in January as well as of a similar party at a different location last year. Do send us more pics if you have them. We're happy to disseminate the information Googlers refuse to spread themselves.

Apparently from Saturday's event, via friend Jen Liu's Facebook album "house warming & birthday party," uploaded 16 hours ago.

One of the dance poles going up, from a January picture of "orkut's party," again via Liu.

The dance floor again? Again from Liu's "orkut's party" album, January.

Liu and Orkut, ibid.

Orkut at a party in Jan. 2009. Via Facebook.

Orkut, center, with boyfriend Derek Holbrook, right, at a Jan. 2009 party.

Orkut at a Jan. 2009 party.

Quick trip to Brazil via private jet, anyone?

At Burning Man 2009.

The Journal's online executive editor Alan Murray quickly deleted the Feb. 4 tweet, which, it is now obvious, was issued during Apple CEO Jobs' show-and-tell with select Journal staff. A tipster told us the deletion ultimately traces back to a furious Jobs. We asked Murray for comment, and he wrote back "I would love to talk about this, but can't." In a later email, he added:

I will say that Apple's general paranoia about news coverage is truly extraordinary— but that's not telling you anything you didn't already know.

Indeed, Apple is a notoriously tight-lipped company, particularly under Jobs, and is constantly trying to control the flow of news about its product. Apple sued a teenaged blogger who published scoops about unreleased products; it lied about Jobs' health problems; Jobs called a New York Times columnist a "slime bucket" for writing about said health problems; and an employee of key Apple contractor Foxconn had his apartment illegally searched after losing an iPhone prototype (he later committed suicide amid intense pressure from his employer).

If Jobs did give Murray a tongue lashing — his withering verbal abuse is infamous — the editor can console himself with the knowledge that this is is an especially touchy time of year for the paranoiac. And not just because of the pressures of shepherding and unveiling a new product.

At Jobs' meeting at the Times, the CEO was mostly on point, painting a utopian picture of happy future world awash in iPads. But at one juncture in the meeting, we hear, he took a detour, telling assembled newspaper staff that he gets tons of hate mail from people whenever he launches a new product — people who have never even used it, including angry Apple "fans." Jobs reportedly described the mail as "really nasty stuff... [things] like 'Fuck you and your family.'"

It sounds like Jobs has been fighting this sort of backlash his whole career, judging from this 1994 Rolling Stone interview:

"I've always been attracted to the more revolutionary changes. I don't know why. Because they're harder. They're much more stressful emotionally. And you usually go through a period where everybody tells you that you've completely failed."

Of course, "fuck you and your family" sound less like fanboys than regretful stock speculators. That's the sort of e-note to go ballistic over.

(Updates: Added background on Apple secrecy, Rolling Stone quote.)

What isn't there to enjoy about this?

Seeing as how Apple's commercial game is already far evolved over anything Google's got—this is a spoof of Google's "search stories" campaign—at the very least, they couldn't do too terribly by culling some inspiration, here. It perfectly captures any number of universal Google experiences: shadily searching out How-To information for things pre-established How-To information shouldn't necessarily exist for, the trial-and-error process of using Google and the various misspellings the rest of the world makes with you, the whimsical nature of search results Google will "guess" for you, and finally, the widespread use of Google to search patently innocuous information, which, essentially, is what the internet (and Google) is more or less for. It's witty, it's funny, it's topical, and most important: spot-on. Might as well embrace that shit.

Apparently, Daniel asked for the useless-but-skinny status-computer in exchange for writing a TechCrunch post about an unnamed startup. Now, before we all castigate a 16-year-old, let's note that "asking for shit in exchange for publicity" is incredibly common on the internet. No less an internet legend than Julia Allison will tell you how far "asking for a MacBook Air" can take you. Most flacks know that bloggers are basically fine with bribery—you just have to be discreet about it! And Daniel, on at least one other occasion, apparently did get a computer in exchange for a post.

TechCrunch founder Michael Arrington says he fired Brusilovsky, whom he also keeps calling an "intern." He might've just been part-time (and unpaid?), but he did used to have a much more prestigious-sounding title!

Brusilovsky has admitted to wrongdoing (using the passive construction "a line was crossed," of course—they learn so young!) and apologized. TechCrunch has scrubbed all mention of him from the site.

Facebook's Brandee Barker is "a strange Canadian child that wants Ellen underwear." Or so she was told.

The Chicago Sun Times' Richard Roeper probably just needs to clear his cookies.

Yahoo News's Andrew Golis demands answers, about the furry.

The Obama Administration definitely shouldn't try to slip any junk-food-related changes past the Associated Press's Phil Elliott.

The New York Times was all over the front page of the internet's tech section, and Bits blogger Nick Bilton loved it.

Did you witness the media elite tweet something indiscreet? Please email us your favorite tweets — or send us more Twitter usernames.

The woman started hearing from Seed writers after her Tumblr started getting a measure of online buzz. Mushrooming links and chatter about the blog, devoted to ridiculous Rosa Parks comparisons, must have spiked through one of the online tripwires at Seed, which robotically generates story assignments using data from search engines. (We've agreed not to use the blogger's name in the post, since she used to work for AOL, although you may well be able to figure out who she is from her site.)

As you can see in the email chain below, the torrent of interview requests started Jan. 29 and never let up. The first Seed writer sent a few emails, asking for an interview. When that writer ended up empty handed, different Seedsters put in their own interview requests, one after another. Out tipster said she wrote people back at first, but eventually gave up on responding to everyone.

Gave up, that is, until the eight or ninth email, at which point she kind of snapped and sent the missive at bottom, saying Seed "generally devalues the hard work" of writers and editors.

Well, sure, but only if you don't buy into Aol's innovative "human wave attack" style of journalism. Those sorts of tactica can be very effective, if you're a general. Not so fun if you're one of the infantry, inside the human wave.

(Top pic by Dan Coulter)

We're reliably informed that Jobs showed up for an iPad show and tell at the Times building, with newsroom staff present. The meeting was strictly off the record, though a person present indicated Jobs is preparing to gear up the iPad for magazines and newspapers, having put books first on his list of priorities. Magazines and newspapers got short shrift during Jobs' presentation to unveil the tablet computer last week.

Jobs also visited the Journal, a source there confirmed, though that meetings sounds decidedly less open than the Times affair. We're told Jobs was confined to the third floor of the News Corp. building, where the cafeteria, gym and some conference rooms are, and that many Journal staffers who wanted to see him, including even some higher-ups, could not. (The Journal newsroom starts on the fifth fourth floor and goes up for several stories. Most of it is on the sixth floor.)

Meanwhile, New York's Daily Intel broke news of an intriguing, top-secret dinner Jobs convened at Pranna in the Flatiron district. The sometime pescetarian dined with 50 New York Times Company executives in the cellar dining room, and sat with Times publisher Arthur Sulzberger, according to Daily Intel. He showed off his new iPad and ordered off menu, getting a mango lassi and penne even though neither are normally served at the South Asian fusion spot.

More intriguing: Jobs showed up wearing "a very funny hat - a big top hat kind of thing," said Daily Intel's source. So apparently the obsessively secretive Apple chief was disguised as the Planter's Peanut guy for his trip to Gotham, with his John Lennon spectacles replacing the Peanut's usual monocle. We're told, however, that Jobs was wearing no plutocratic hat or other headgear for his visit to the Times newsroom, which, given his already all-too-imperious image, is probably for the best.

If you know more, do get in touch.

(Pic: Jobs talking to the Journal's Walt Mossberg and the iPad unveiling in San Francisco last week. Getty Images.)

Tesla registered with the SEC on Friday. Buried in the copious paperwork is the name of a very interesting "Series C" and "Series E" stockholder: Amphitheatre LLC. We first flagged this entity as a possible Google front when it invested in a zeppelin company started by Google advisor Esther Dyson. The same zeppelin company was later hired by 23AndMe, the Google-funded and -housed genetic testing firm co-founded by the wife of Google co-founder Sergey Brin.

Ampitheatre LLC may well have been acquired by Google along with the company INV Tax Group when Google bought its eight-building headquarters at 1600 Amphitheatre Parkway and 1200-1500 Crittenden Lane in Mountain View. Ampitheatre LLC and INV Tax Group, then believed affiliated with Goldman Sachs, had been the shell companies that held the buildings.

It's hard to imagine why a real estate holding vehicle is now investing in zeppelins and electric cars if it's not controlled by Google. California records are little help; they show the LLC still registered to "INV Tax Group, 180 Maiden Lane, 40th floor," an address once linked to Goldman Sachs in a building now used by a wide array of companies.

Google's a logical investor, anyway, since its founders are already Tesla customers (see picture of Brin in his Tesla, left, by Zach Graves) and investors. Co-founder Larry Page even reportedly "jet pools" with Tesla CEO Elon Musk, and Google has an "electric car" section reserved in its parking lot (see picture at top by Tristan Nitot). It wouldn't be the first time Google co-invested with its founders; it followed Brin into his wife's 23AndMe.

Whether the Google honchos had their financial judgment clouded by the fact that they personally made it to the front of Tesla's fiercely competitive waiting list is something for Google shareholders to decide.

In so doing, they might consider another nugget buried in Tesla's S-1: The company has not yet stabilized its notoriously volatile executive ranks. Among the recent departures is general counsel Jonathan Sobel, formerly of Yahoo. Sobel started in September; he was gone by December. One tipster claims friction with Musk was to blame. The bigger question is whether Musk can forge more stable relationships with his co-workers going forward. Only time will tell. We'll be watching, and we bet Google will be, too.

(Top pic: A Tesla parked at Google headquarters, by Tristan Nitot. Second pic: Sergey Brin driving in his Tesla, by Zach Graves.)

Former Congressional Quarterly writer Chris Lehmann found gainful employment just in time for his wife to lose hers. Anybody feel like buying the corpse of Air America?

Former Defamer and Greater Hollywood Area tingling internet sensation Molly McAleer normally does not self-censor her tweets, but this one's now gone, presumably out of fear bedridden protocelebrity pimp Julia Allison would totally Rahm her.

Canadian programmer Doug Sheppard has a better sense of humor than anyone on that stupid island. (Except maybe Hurley.)

There are surely any number of ways to communicate with a non-cooperative Twitter server, but this time Twitter engineer Alex Payne went with "English."

Five of whatever Jack Dorsey's drinking, barkeep.

Did you witness the media elite tweet something indiscreet? Please email us your favorite tweets - or send us more Twitter usernames.

BlueSwarm LLC freely admits its fundraising management software was built for Romney, the remarkably lifelike 2008 Republican presidential contender. Its pride is understandable from a marketing, if not legal, standpoint: the system attracted some favorable press during the campaign.

But the code's use in subsequent campaigns by entirely different candidates, and its repurposing to fill BlueSwarm's coffers, raises questions over whether Romney's donors are getting a raw deal. The same finance director who drove the custom software for Romney, Spencer Zwick, is now finance director for California gubernatorial candidate Meg Whitman. And, go figure, Whitman is a prominently advertised BlueSwarm user, using the software to coordinate her fundraising operations.

It's unclear how much, if anything, Whitman is paying to use the code. But other politicians are paying "astronomical rates" for BlueSwarm access, an anonymous tipster claims.

Somehow we don't think Romney's many Utah Mormon donors would appreciate the spoils of their generosity being provided to candidates like Whitman, a "socially moderate," gay-friendly female California CEO who supports (at minimum) civil unions for gay and lesbian couples. Or being funneled to a closely-held LLC. They probably should have found some way to properly liquidate their software assets at the end of the campaign (*cough*).

If you know more about this tangled web of software, politics and money, do email us.

We've cut out most of the boring parts; as Wonkette notes, the "absolute most terrifying" part comes toward the end, about 35 seconds into our video above, after the black fade. As you can see, the future of the nation's largest state may well be decided by actual furries.

"Come take a sneak peak at LOFT's summer 2010 collection before anyone else!" the note raved. "Bloggers who attend will receive a special gift, and those who post coverage from the event will be entered in a mystery gift card drawing where you can win up to $500 at LOFT!"

The fine print explained an unusual catch: the bloggers who went to the event would have to send their posts back to Loft's publicist within 24 hours — and then she would reveal what value of gift card they had won. The minimum card value was $50.

We did not attend. Thirty-one bloggers did; the company president says each took a gift card.

We made a mental note to keep an eye out for coverage of the event.

And aside from the Los Angeles Times blog calling attention to the attempted bribery, that coverage has been overwhelmingly positive. And almost none of the bloggers who typed write-ups and posted grainy cell-phone photos disclosed their financial relationship — or lack thereof, if in fact anyone turned down the cards — with Ann Taylor. A gift card might not be the most liquid form of currency, but it certainly has monetary value — and $500 is no small sum. And under recently revised Federal Trade Commission regulations, any online writer who fails to mention the receipt of freebies that might have swayed his or her coverage of a product is liable for fines of up to $11,000. (Now if only we could have such a regulation governing the print media.)

"We don't incentivize the press," protests Loft's president, Gary Muto. "We would never do that."

"They could write whatever they want. Obviously, there's freedom of speech." I'm sure as much will be obvious from this sampling of coverage of the collection and its three monthly deliveries:

• "Very chic and wearable...I so love what LOFT is doing with their brand. The collection looks really fresh and modern while still managing to keep the 'relaxed' attitude that has always been the essence of the line." — Saucyglossie.com
• "Thanks to an exclusive blogger preview of LOFT's (formerly known as Ann Taylor LOFT) Summer 2010 collection, I have a new store to add to my weekly shopping routine." — Tracy Hopkins of Splendicity.com
• "A collection that makes us wish we could press fast forward and magically appear on a St. Thomas beach in their 'Sailing Ferns Maxi Dress' ($98). Or at a see and be seen Brooklyn outdoors brunch spot in their 'Zebra Print Pencil Skirt' ($69.50) and 'Knotted Hobo Bag' ($148). The LOFT Summer 2010 collection is targeting the young jet setter with an exhilarating mix of prints and luxe accessories. The brand even boasts an industrious team of trendsetters anchored by a Fashion Director who wore a sporty cropped trench over a dress with the sailing ferns signature print. The LOFT has your Summer 2010 must-haves down to a sartorial science." — Geneva S. Thomas of Clutchmagonline.com
• "An oceanic pillage seemed evident when viewing the brightly colored coral and floral shaped accessories. Surfacing to another delivery the colors grew a little softer with airy ruffles and lighter fabrics. The last delivery favored a safari expedition; full of fiery reds and tangerines paired with earth tone shorts and jackets, with a touch of animal print. I adored how gallantly color and print were used, allowing a touch of graceful eccentricity." — Filecellia Sampson of Johnsimondaily.com
• "The collection contained everything a woman would need for the weekend or a vacation...Stop by your local Loft anytime starting in May to see the entire collection. You won't be disappointed." — Zia of Mylifeonandofftheguestlist.blogspot.com
• The Budget Fashionista posted 20 photos.
• "I hate cold weather and always look forward to warmer climes. But this year, I have an added urgency since I can't wait to don the adorable pieces from the upcoming Ann Taylor Loft 2010 spring/summer season! Last Wednesday, we were treated to a preview party featuring all their lovely dresses, tops, skirts, and accessories. Held in the beautiful Industria Superstudio with tons and tons of yummy hor d'ouerves [sic] and free flowing wine and champagne topped with a gift bag with a look book and a cute necklace: this was a preview done right!" — Thatgirlattheparty.com

A real free-flowing range of opinion, that. Of these bloggers, only two — Hopkins and My Life On And Off The Guest List's Zia — mentioned the gift cards. UPDATE: Courtney Henley-Anderson, the publisher of That Girl At The Party says that she was unaware of the gift card drawing as she was not officially invited to the event, adding,

"I was invited by a colleague to the 5 to 9pm Fashion preview, not the blogger event described in this article. As such, I was never sent the invite with the 24-hour posting incentive. Nor was I given a gift card since I was not aware of the offer. My post about the event went up on Monday, February 1st, a full five days after the event took place and four days after the gift card reimbursement described here. In addition, in keeping with the FTC rules, I duly state when I am given a product and review it."

We've noticed when other sites have failed to mention, oh yeah, that the Fabulous New Product You Just Have To Try! was given to them for free at a schoozy event. Just like we've drawn attention to the fact that magazines stock their pages with editorial payola; the fashion print media are so beholden to their advertisers that it's not unusual for luxury brands to dictate how the clothes they lend magazines can be styled and shot for editorials, and what their paid ads must be adjacent to in the book. Perhaps some editors and bloggers are too excited by the opportunities for graft to notice that it's precisely this kind of constriction of editorial judgment that atrophies creativity, and which is turning the fashion media — women's media — into a lowest-common-denominator whirl of focus-grouped, product-placed bullshit. The Internet was supposed to be different.

Loft Gift Cards For Bloggers Stir Buzz [WWD]
Crossing The Line? Loft Barters Gift Cards For Blog Coverage [LATimes]
Venetia Scott: "I Find Magazines Less And Less Interesting" [Fashionologie]

Earlier:
Marie Claire Devotes 10-Page Spread To One Advertiser Designer

AOLers –

Just a few moments ago, AOL announced its first earnings in nearly a
decade. This is an important moment for our company and for every
employee.

The results are promising, with the lowest year-over-year quarterly
revenue decline in six quarters and the first sequential
quarter-over-quarter growth in over two years. And this was
accomplished even as the company was in the process of spinning off
from Time Warner and fully engaged with our Project Everest
initiative.

We couldn't have gotten to this point without the amazing amount of
work accomplished by you during the quarter. Your work is what the
future of the company will be built on, and we are incredibly proud of
that work.

Artie Minson and I will talk about the earnings in more detail on a
call with employees a little later this morning. Check out AOL Today
[http://today.office.aol.com/company-news/2010/02/dont-miss-todays-post-earnings-call]
for a link to the earnings press release and to get the employee
call-in details.

We look forward to discussing the quarter's results with you as well
as taking a step back and reviewing what we've accomplished during
this crucial period. Thank you again for the hard work, focus and
execution – let's keep going, working hard, and holding ourselves to
producing the best content, products and services on the Web. Go AOL!
– TAM