Now We Write Resumes Like Douchebags, Too

In 2014, it's not often enough to just do something: dogs must be tracked via Bluetooth, articles have to animate like kaleidoscopes, and a simple resume becomes a multimedia memoir.

Jenn Van Grove—who self-describes as a "reporter, web geek, vegan, obsessed Boo fan, CrossFit addict and UCLA grad" on Twitter—is looking for a job. So, naturally, she took to Medium, the trendiest place to park your sorta-baked ideas online. What follows a sort of TGI Fridays sampler platter of contemporary internet culture:

There are GIFs.

There's a link to two separate Pinterest boards.

There's an embedded Twitter photo of a motivational quote drawn on a chalkboard.

All that's missing is the reason why creating this... web thing... is better than just sending your resume around. Just be glad you don't work in HR once every starts making something like this when it's time to apply for a new job.