People Aren't as Horribly Lazy as This Startup Hoped

In the future, you'll barely need to move: food, cars, and laundry will all arrive directly at your door. Think of how much society will save on sidewalks. But this future isn't here yet, as gofer startup Exec learned the hard way—it turns out no one wants on-demand servants.

With human trafficking something of a taboo these days, but other smartphone sloth-enablers like Seamless and Uber proving popular, it made sense to try. After all, if the San Francisco area can support four simultaneous laundry apps, wouldn't more than one errand app be possible? Michael Arrington's CrunchFund and other venture firms kicked over $3 million toward the idea, and TechCrunch's Josh "News Feed" Constine sure liked it:

The Execs would show up in jazzy black track jackets and cordially do whatever you ask. I once had an Exec move my car to avoid parking tickets when I suddenly went out of town, and they saved me a ton. I’ve seen friends successfully use Execs as dog-walkers, bartenders, and urban sherpas.

"Urban sherpas," alright. A rep from Exec explained the decision:

We haven't been able to figure out a great way to scale it beyond SF, but through the process of creating errands we were able to figure out some things people wanted (one major of which was cleaning) and then take the best aspects of errands and apply them to our new business.

So that's how it'll have to be—if you need things cleaned for you, no problem. If you need someone in a black tracksuit to "cordially do whatever you ask," sadly the future is not now.