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#duan
Does Miguel Cabrera Need a Valtrex Prescription?
Wow, that's a grody canker, isn't it? Anyway, Michigan and Notre Dame are still battling it out and USC and Ohio State comes later, so consider this your open thread. And oh, I have a fun story for y'all! [Deadspin] -
#recruiting
Most Auburn Fans Are Doltish Cretins, Obviously
Have you ever been to Auburn? No? Well, I have, and IT SUCKS! Which is why, in order to "attract" recruits, the program has to dispatch its illiterate boosters to harass the nation's top prep talent into signing with them. [Deadspin] -
#midafternoonroundup
The Big Ten: Still Sucking
After numerous Big Ten teams barely escaped being upset by non-conference underdogs last week, the ax dropped today with Michigan State falling to Central Michigan while Wisconsin and Northwestern barely got by Fresno State and Eastern Michigan at home. [Deadspin] -
#mediameltdowns
Sean Salisbury Gets Fired Hard for the Money
Yesterday we learned that Sean Salisbury was fired from his gig at a Dallas radio stadium, allegedly for more cellphone/dong photo hijinks. The Dallas Morning News spoke to Salisbury about his departure, and he tells a different story, naturally. [Deadspin] -
#lawsuits
Your Disdain for America Will Not Be Tolerated by the Newark Bears
Thomas Cetnar, an ex-cop convicted of stealing drug money, owns the Newark Bears, a minor league team managed by Tim Raines. Cetnar ejected three teenagers for not standing during "God Bless America." They're now suing him in federal court. [Deadspin] -
#speeches
Michael Jordan's Tears Do Not Prove He's Human
I was out last night so I didn't catch Michael Jordan's Hall of Fame induction speech until this morning, but it was pretty damn classic and incredibly moving, and no one seemed more moved by it than MJ himself. [Deadspin] -
#hotsports
A Weary Nation Turns to Cornholing for Leisurely Recreation
Occasionally a sport comes along that truly defines its era. Fittingly, as Barack Obama prepares to invade the South with an army of homosexuals who will sodomize every Republican's children and pets, cornholing is suddenly all the rage. [Deadspin] -
#nfl
Cris Collinsworth Likes His Ladies Very Young and Extremely Stupid
Every now and then someone will dig up a long lost video clip from the past that's so amazing in every way that you have to watch it multiple times to confirm it's real. This is one of those videos. [Deadspin] -
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#listings
What to Watch Today
Just because we're never afraid to be too servicey, here's a rundown of some notable televised sporting events today, starting with college football. [Deadspin] -
#exonerations
Shawne Merriman Will Not Face Criminal Charges for the Tila Tequila Incident
A San Diego judge has ruled that no charges will be filed against Chargers linebacker Shawne Merriman for allegedly choking and restraining notorious internet trollop Tila Tequila. [Deadspin] -
#nightmares
Richard Seymour Boldly Accepts His Deportation to the North Korea of the NFL
Richard Seymour has agreed to play for the Raiders this season and is expected to suit up for the team Monday night against the Chargers. We think Seymour's wife Tanya will fit right in with the Oakland Coliseum fans. [ESPN] [Deadspin] -
#introductions
Well Hello There Stinky Britches!
Okay, so I'm this internet creature known as Cajun Boy and I'm guest-editing this here site today. Perhaps you've seen me around on Gawker, Animal, my dumb blog, my dumb Twitter, etc. Also, I got my first tattoo last night! [Deadspin] -
#wakeupdeadspin
This Pig AIDS Aggression Will Not Stand, Man
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to tips@deadspin.com. Subject: Morning crap. [Deadspin] -
#gossiproundup
Are Cameron Diaz and Keanu Reeves Feeling Minnesota Together?
Cameron Diaz and Keanu Reeves are allegedly dating, Spencer Pratt wants to be the next Brad Pitt, Michael Jackson's gay lover speaks, Hayden Panettiere is dating the Pink Taco dude, Lindsay Lohan loses her phone and Penelope Cruz gets thicker. More » -
#therich
Anti-Virus Software Mogul Forced to Get By On $4-Million
For the first time in decades the super-rich are suddenly not getting richer anymore. In fact, they're becoming poor! Take John McAfee for example, whose $100-million fortune has now dwindled down to a measly $4-million. More » -
#checkups
Here's Your Jeremy Piven Mercury Level Update
Ever since Jeremy Piven almost died from eating sushi and had his corpse turned into a thermometer by David Mamet, the world has been wondering, "How are Piven's mercury levels doing like these days?" Well, now we know. More » -
#imagefile
Heat Wave
Steven Baldoni, a hair stylist from Paris, sunbathes in the oppressive heat yesterday in Bryant Park. [AP/Bebeto Matthews] More » -
#thewildwest
Frommer's Boycotting Arizona Over Ridiculous Gun Laws
Arthur Frommer, the founder of the handy Frommer's Travel Guide empire, announced that he's personally boycotting the state of Arizona after seeing a bunch of wingnuts openly packing heat at an Obama speech earlier in the week. More » -
#hollywood
Is This the Summer of Death for Movie Stars?
What's happened to America's movie stars in the summer of 2009? A slew of boldface names have opened films this summer and most of them have tanked hard. Some people are blaming Twitter, but the answer is really quite simple. More » -
#rebuttals
O'Reilly: Jon Stewart's Just 'Dancing Down the Liberal Yellow Brick Road'
Last night on The Daily Show, Jon Stewart and his staff compiled a pretty amazing takedown of Fox News, branding the network as "the new liberals." Bill O'Reilly was not pleased by this, so tonight he offered a rebuttal. More »
