San Francisco Hotel Offering Free Drinks for Glassholes

If you squint a little, New York by the bay is slowly turning into a cartoon. The next step in our favorite class warfare diorama: a boutique hotel bucking the backlash by offering cocktails on the house for anyone with a locally despised, $1,500 face computer.

The San Francisco Chronicle reports local antisocial pioneers will be entitled to one free intoxicating beverage at the Aurea Lounge, the Stanford Court Hotel's bar. Maybe they need help paying for drinks after spending $1,500 on a face computer. Above, you'll see a photo from inside the Stanford Court Hotel, which should tell you as much as you need to know. But OK, here's what you need to know: it looks like a place for people dangling above a precipice of despair and non-social fuckery from which you cannot be un-fucked.

From the Chron:

"The complimentary drink is geared toward the local tech crowd who own a pair, and might feel like an outcast or nuisance due to the recent string of negative press," said a hotel spokesperson via e-mail. "[We] want them to feel at home."

Just imagine several gangly San Franciscans, full of confidence, bad haircuts, ill-fitting bootcut jeans, and skull-mounted cameras. Each one grips a Complimentary Cocktail a little too tightly. Maybe it's the "Hanger Wallbanger" or the "Off The Grid" (bourbon, bitters, orange twist, cherry). They joke about recording each other. Sarah Slocum's face illuminated blue by an e-cig. "Have you guys checked Secret?" A few laughs. Imagine the bad sex later, wishing maybe it'd been two free cocktails instead of one. Imagine that the one bar that will welcome someone with your views on privacy and consumer electronics is a place with CTRL+ALT+DELETE throw pillows.