Beauty pageantry is synonymous with integrity, an image august figures like Donald Trump and Mario Lopez have cultivated over the years. So it's only right that the newest addition to the flesh appraisal party is Gary Vaynerchuk, a guy who professionally takes money from idiots.

Gary Vaynerchuk, seen above spouting nonsense, began his career doing marketing for his parents' wine company. Today, he owns his own intoxicating operation, a low-morale "social media marketing" firm called VaynerMedia, which describes itself as "a social-first digital shop that focuses on storytelling across platforms. We use insights gained through micro-content to build creative campaigns that drive actual business results."

Here is a sample piece of "micro-content" created by VaynerMedia, and distributed on Google+ in order to sell crackers:

Somehow, Vaynerchuk (Twitter bio: "Just a dude who Loves the Hustle, People & the @NYJets") has leveraged this dopey Crushin' it, brah! sales-schtick into a tech career. He's a regular interview subject, conference fixture, and most recently, investor in an app that hopes to ruin the way restaurants work. Think of him as a sort of Deepak Chopra of selling bullshit with Snapchat.

But that was only phase one. Soon, he'll be in American living rooms, reports:

Joining the judges' panel at Boardwalk Hall to assess the subjective worth of contestants — no, not Atlantic City — will be the social media-savvy vino purveyor Gary Vaynerchuk of Springfield's Wine Library, Lara Spencer announced today on "Good Morning America." She'll also return to host the pageant this year alongside "The Bachelor" host Chris Harrison.

Vaynerchuk is a sort of personification of Atlantic City (this shouldn't exist, and yet it still does), so that checks out perfectly.

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