Would You Pay $100 to Hear These Five Nobodies Talk for 8 Hours?S

In most corners of our planet, five guys with office jobs wouldn't be a gathering worth buying a ticket for—you could just show up to a bar, or batting cage. But in tech-land, five guys aren't five guys—they're a conference waiting to happen.

Unless you are related to or sleeping with Alex Abelin, Scott Hartley, Aaron Levenstadt, Cameron Morris, or Jonathan Paul, you probably don't know who they are. Individually, they might just be five dudes who used to work for Google, and now they don't anymore. Sure. But together, there is synergy. Together, like some lame, biz dev Voltron, they are the xGFive—and they want to take your money:

On 2-22, get ready for xGfive in Toronto. Five ex-Googlers and best friends will run you through the ringer... how to launch your business, the basics of venture capital, how to monetize yourself in today's globalizing and Internet-driven world, how to build Identity capital to build yourself.

It's game time, and xGfive will ramp you up.

What does this mean? What game is it? Why is it time? Where is the ramp? Why are these five people particularly well-equipped to teach you anything at all, to say nothing of "monetizing yourself" and "globalization"? Why couldn't they use a promotional image where one of the dudes doesn't have his eyes closed? Why is "Identity" capitalized like that? Will there be snacks?

No answers—just a $100-per-ticket price tag, and a lot of Internet-driven intrigue.