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advertising
Twitter Loses Revenue Virginity
There was something innocent and pure about Twitter's total lack of income. But don't worry, the microblogging startup's first advertisements are sufficiently adorable. More » -
advertising
Should Police Academy Alumni Direct Microsoft Ads? No.
Microsoft has heard your pleas: it's pulled its "Worst Tech Commercial Ever," which tried to use a puking theme to sell Internet Explorer. And you'll never guess who the director was! You will never guess. More » -
badvertising
Worst Tech Commercial Ever, Probably
If Harry McCracken, who has been writing about personal computers for 29 years, says this Microsoft spot is the worst technology commercial ever, he's probably right. Warning: It's also gross. More » -
advertising
Google Games Bite Newspapers
Desperate for online advertising, newspapers have learned to aggressively optimize their content for Google. The result: more traffic. Junky traffic. More » -
advertising
Perez Hilton's New Site to Showcase His Sensitive, Thoughtful Side
Perez Hilton is launching a new website, his advertising agent reports, to "focus on longer-form, more advertiser-friendly content." Meaning, presumably, that the celebrity gossip can finally unleash his fearsome intellect. More » -
advertising
Hacker Buys Anti-Apple Ad Under Apple Store
In 2006, a hacker named DVD Jon cracked the encryption on Apple's music store files. Today he's pulled off a more tangible hack: Buying a billboard practically inside Apple's San Francisco store to advertise his "cure for iPhone envy." More » -
videuhoh
Whoops: Microsoft Touts Search Accuracy Using Mistake
How does Microsoft argue its search results are more correct than, say, Google's? With a commercial in which it accidentally claims the Breakfast Club was released a year later than it was. More » -
advertising
Bing Will Annoy You Into Submission
Microsoft's new search-dealie "Bing" is going up against The Google, which is hard! Fortunately, Bing's marketing wizards have devised the world's most annoying ways to promote it. (*Bing* sound)! More » -
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the blues
Theme Music for the Death of the Media
This nine-minute heartbreaker titled "Mad Ave Blues," sung to the tune of "American Pie," is sure to bring tears to the eyes of every agency creative type, media buyer, and trade reporter who love-hates advertising. Brilliant, and painfully nerdy. More » -
business models
Zombie Business Model Revived By Hungry Blogs
Tech blog company GigaOm is starting a subscription research service to drum up cash; some think TechCrunch could soon follow. It would seem everything old in tech media is new again: Bloated dot-com magazines attempted this same tactic amid the popping of the last financial bubble. More » -
badvertising
Yelp Sorry About Ruining Anti-Rape Message
Whoops: Yelp signed up "SF Women Against Rape" as a sponsor of its email newsletter, then ran their ad under an insinuating headline about bicycles that read, "Put the Fun Between Your Legs." Cue the outrage! More » -
flackery
Julia Allison Shills for Sea World (Updated)
Julia Allison sounds so excited: The professional "lifecaster" is headed for "an adventure" at Sea World. As it happens, she's also showing other bloggers how not to make money in a recession.
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rumormonger
Google's 'Darth Vader'
In flusher times, Google geeks set the agenda for company sales executives; distracting sidelines were encouraged. The recession — assisted by a new sales chief who apparently doesn't mind his diabolical reputation — foreclosed on such coddling. More » -
badvertising
Dell Discovers Ladies Use Computers For More Than Diet Tips
In response to widespread internet backlash, Dell has revised "Della," its website marketing netbooks to women, purging it of references to calorie counting and shopping. [Jezebel] -
advertising
Microsoft's Cute-Girl Ad Only Clever Until the Next Price War
With Apple's market share steadily growing, thanks to ads which compare cool Mac kids to schlubby PC people, Microsoft is finally wising up: What it needs to advertise are PCs, not Windows. And cute girls! More » -
the internet
Viral Videos Just as Deadly as Viral Illnesses
People who inadvertently starred in Youtube videos that got huge are the child TV stars of the internet, their lives defined by some awkward, emasculating moment. So it goes for the "Numa Numa" guy. More » -
marketing
Twitter No Longer All About the Art
Marcelo Tas is a Brazilian TV host described as "a tropical version of...Jon Stewart." But you could also describe him as "the first celebrity to trick a company into paying him for bullshit on Twitter." More » -
dead trees
Twitter May Find News Profits That Eluded Publishers
Newspaper publishers have long imagined their journalism filled Google's results and fueled its profits. But Twitter is building a popular, potentially profitable news search engine from mostly amateur content. More » -
remixes
Awful Product With Awful Ad Makes Awful Music
Earlier we showed you the horrifying, adult Mouseketeer-like "commercial" for Microsoft Songsmith (do not click that) that could drive the gentlest among us to murder. But at least it's inspiring a YouTube artistic explosion. More » -
marketing
Playboy's Seductive, Convoluted Cell Phone Thing
What would you do for some free cell phone porn? Stand on one foot? Lick the pavement? Ha, Playboy is willing to work with you on this! Now, what would you do if it wasn't exactly porn, but a reality show webisode thing? You'd participate in a convoluted cell phone-based marketing scheme, wouldn't you. There's babes involved! More » -
advertising
Your Facebook Page Increasingly Undesirable
Sites like Myspace and Facebook, which are technically called "social networking" sites but are better known as "Lisa is...OMG are you watching The Hills right now? Craziness" ego-projection mechanisms for creating alternate realities, are suffering just like everyone else during this recession. Not traffic-wise; humans' desire to keep the outside world appraised of their moment-to-moment "status" only continues to increase. But money-wise, things are not looking quite so wildly engrossing: More » -
advertising
In the old days, we had to place our products by hand
Stewart Brand once prophesied a world in which a faked video of Ronald Reagan punching Boris Yeltsin in the nose would look real, obsoleting phrases like "photo proof" and "the camera doesn't lie." This compilation of product inserts by UK firm MirriAd shows just how seamless video hacking has become. In 2008, the camera lies and it adds ten pounds. -
silicon alley insider
Henry Blodget needs more layoffs to write about
"Yahoo will almost certainly fire too few employees when it announces its mass layoffs this week," predicts Henry Blodget, the disgraced stock analyst everyone now listens to. Henry's got a bunch of charts you can look at, or you can read his kicker: "What's the smart amount of spending decline to plan for? We think about 10 percent next year and slightly more in 2010. We would also plan on the decline lasting at least two years." -
microsoft
Outrage: Apple Continues To Mock Microsoft!
Oooh, ad war escalation! You remember how Microsoft got so mad about Apple's ads that they had to run out and spend $300 million on a fancy ad campaign consisting of Mac lovers declaring their love for PCs, as well as celebrities doing things seemingly unrelated to computers. Meanwhile Apple has just been sitting back chuckling, and now they've released a new ad making fun of Microsoft's ad spending. Which is too insidery, but very entertaining to people forced to write about ad campaigns. Apple's only problem: the people who buy PCs, such as myself, don't even know what this "Vista" thing is. (If we knew about computer things we would have bought a better one!). I imagine that Microsoft grows ever more apoplectic, though. Full ad below: More » -
the internet
The Scary Future Of Internet Ads
Here's what you can expect in the coming year, internet lovers: lots of young internet companies going broke. The ones you love! Including, but not limited to, user-generated video sites, ad networks, fringe social media sites, and companies that make all those sweet apps. Why? Because in our brave new economy, companies are slower to buy bullshit ads of questionable efficacy on every random "Web 2.0" site. How bad will it get? We'll tell you: More » -
advertising
Why not skip ahead to Google Casino?
Google is supposed to begin testing gambling ads in the UK today. I've come up snake eyes trying to get one onscreen, so I'd love a screenshot if you get one. Free-market champion Henry Blodget beat me to the summary: More » -
search
Google gamed by small businesses
Search marketing icon Danny Sullivan recently moved back to his native Southern California after 12 years in a small English town. Yeah, we thought he was British, too. Sullivan documented several infuriating problems he hit trying to connect with local businesses through Google. One stands out, because it was caused by a local business with too much Web savvy, rather than not enough. More » -
advertising
Investment In Bullshit Ads Plummets
When times were good and the economy was strong, you could sell companies any old kind of patently ridiculous ad. Did marketing savants really believe that spending wildly to place their brands inside "The Sims" was going to pay off in money that is made out of paper, and spendable here on Earth? It's doubtful. They just got caught up in the sheer newness of plastering their logo anywhere and everywhere, and then made up some bullshit about "branding" to explain the expense. Well that shit is over now, suckas! More » -
marketing
Your Cell Phone Can Now Snitch On You To Faceless Corporations
Although companies can measure how many TV commercials, radio commercials, and internet ads you're exposed to, it's just not enough. What about snatches of radio ads overheard through the windows of passing cars—do they affect your shampoo-buying habits? When you were at the gym and walked briskly past a television showing a "Synecdoche, New York" preview—did you write any Philip Seymour Hoffman fan fiction in the following six months? These details are important. Luckily one firm has figured out how to make your cell phone snitch on you to the marketing Matrix: More » -
advertising
Windows 7 to make layoffs simple
"Simply put, this is the seventh release of Windows, so therefore 'Windows 7' just makes sense." That's how Microsoft chose to announce yesterday — via an employee blog — that the next version of Windows will be called Windows 7. It's not news, but by making the name Facebook official, Microsoft is offering a promise: When all this crazy market meshugana shakes out, Windows will still be here. It'll make you safe. And it'll be simple, not like the Windows you have now. The number is a nice touch, a return to an old but successful software publisher's practice. Windows 7.20, instead of Microsoft Windows Vista Business Service Pack 2, will make it easy next year for the new IT guy to figure out which disc is the right one to install on your old laptop. Don't steal it on your way out the door, ok? -
Business Media
The Tragedy Of Business Media
In recent months, new online business sites like Clusterstock and Slate's The Big Money launched—and what timing! The current meltdown of all things money-related is the biggest business story in a generation or more. But therein lies the quandary that is currently fucking with most of the big business media brands. Understand this, and you'll understand everything (about business media):
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new york times
The NYT Has Endless Space To Sell
You have to give credit to the people who have the unenviable job of selling enough online ads to keep the New York Times afloat. At least they're brainstorming! Already this year they've experimented with creative strategies like selling the entire top of the homepage to Apple. And today, we see, they've come up with yet another space that can be "sponsored": More » -
the sims 3
Digital Baubles Alleviate Crushing Pain Of Modern Life
Attention nerds: retailers are extremely interested in your imaginary nerd money. And they're coming into your nerd land to woo you! Specifically by purchasing all types of "dynamic in-game ads" in the new version of The Sims—a computer game featuring attractively rendered digital versions of nerds performing mundane tasks such as washing dishes and going to the grocery store, which are "fun" only in comparison to the sad isolation and anomie of the modern nerd's real life. Not only can you buy virtual Ikea furniture and H&M clothes in a pallid simulacrum of the American dream; now, you can play in a world free of the unrelenting pain of your everyday existence: More » -
copyfight
G.ho.st says Microsoft stole "No Walls" slogan
This much is provable: G.ho.st, a hosted service that dubs itself the Global Hosted Operating SysTem, uses a slogan, "No Walls." Microsoft's new Seinfeld-powered Windows campaign pushes several slogans, including "Imagine No Walls." Sleep-deprived superreporter Kara Swisher tells us the G.ho.st gang claims trademark infringement on a pending trademark for "No walls." Our attempts to pull G.ho.st's trademark entry from the United States Patent and Trademark Office's searchable database returned no matches to G.ho.st's claim. Ball in your court, G.ho.st.ers — post your USPTO documentation in the comments, or it didn't happen. -
advertising
MySpace launches a self-serve ad network, hopes you like banners
Two weeks after News Corp COO Peter Chernin told an audience in New York that MySpace ads are ahead of target, the site launched a self-serve ad system at advertising.myspace.com. Aimed primarily at musicians and small businesses, the ads start at a $25 minimum for a campaign. The big difference from Google's AdWords: MySpace ads only link to other MySpace pages. Here's a summary of Mashable's writeup on the system: More » -
advertising
Microsoft's agency, spokespeople love their Apple products
Ad agency Crispin Porter + Bogusky made Microsoft's "I'm a PC" ads using Macs, according to a Flickr user who downloaded an image version of the ad from Microsoft's web site and perused its meta data. After Digital Daily posted the news, a Microsoft flack confirmed the news and said: "Agencies and production houses use a wide variety of software and hardware to create, edit and distribute content, including both Macs and PCs." Along with its ad agency, Microsoft's spokespeople in the "I'm a PC" campaign are also proud Apple product owners. More » -
advertising
Online Privacy Threatens Ads! Is It Worth It?
Online marketing companies: do we give them enough information about our lives? Emily Steel, a 24-year-old reporter for the WSJ, bravely uses herself as a guinea pig to determine that, no, these shadowy firms don't know quite enough about us to be able to target us with ads effectively. If the threat of missing out on perfectly customized ads doesn't convince Americans to throw open our private data to unaccountable corporations, I don't know what will: More » -
pharrell williams
Microsoft Picks Another Apple Lover For Its Ad Campaign
First Microsoft hired proven Mac lover Jerry Seinfeld to crappily kick off its new $300 million ad campaign. Then the company dropped Seinfeld and brought in a slew of new celebrities to declare their love for PCs. Including hip hop star Pharrell—Another. Proven. Apple. Lover. Research! Payoffs! Do something, Microsoft! Pictured, Pharrell and his beloved golden iPhone. Here's a video where he describes his Mac tendencies. Fiasco! Ridiculous! And here's a brand new Microsoft ad with Pharrell declaring he is, in fact, a PC: More » -
advertising
Microsoft's new "I'm a PC" commercials want you to "Think Different"
Microsoft and agency Crispin Porter + Bogusky's post-Seinfeld ads are out and we've embedded them below. They start with a guy who looks just like the actor who plays PC in Apple's Mac vs. PC ads saying "I'm a PC and I've been made into a stereotype." Then the commercials cut to shark-hunting adventurers, African teachers, graffiti artists, minor celebrtities and astronauts all also saying "I'm a PC." Then a voice-over begins: "Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently." Well, not actually. But Microsoft made billions copying Apple's operating system and its clearly decided to make more copying Apple's "Think Different" ad campaign — so why not just be out with it? More » -
advertising
Microsoft ad agency confirms: New Seinfeld ad produced, yet not running
The doublespeak coming from Microsoft and its ad agency, Crispin Porter & Bogusky, in the wake of its "icebreaker" ad campaign featuring Bill Gates and Jerry Seinfeld, is amazing. Yesterday, Valleywag learned that Microsoft PR was revving up a spin campaign to go along with the ad campaign. Its aim: To make sure no one interpreted its shift to a series of anti-Mac ads as an abandonment of the Seinfeld spots. But Crispin Porter tells Gizmodo that it did, indeed, have another Seinfeld and Gates spot already produced. It's just not scheduled to air. Anytime. As of yet. It could air. Some day. If Microsoft wants it too. So does this mean Seinfeld will return? As a Microsoft flack told us yesterday, "possibly" and "potentially."



































