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confonz
Oracle's OpenWorld conference closes with Treasure Island party
Please welcome back ConFonz, the man who goes to technology trade conferences so Valleywag doesn't have to. The Conference Fonzerelli, a veteran of many OpenWorld conferences, thinks Oracle has pumped up its image this year. The show is much more huggy-touchy-feely-bloggery. Despite the fact that most Oracle employees of use are hiding under rocks. Quite a change from the days when Oracle at your door meant you were either out of a job, out of memory, or simply out of your mind. If anyone in the technology industry is wondering how to run a conference, this is the one to emulate. Oracle OpenWorld pulls 45,000 people, and twice as many service workers to support it. That's why Howard Street is closed and why you can't get a good picnic spot in Yerba Buena Park. More »
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By confonzComment by cv: This isn't Jezebel. That bag is ugly. And this post sucks. Like all Confonz posts. But that's just me... 1 Responses | Other threads
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ConFonz hits the Web 2.0 party circuit
CONFONZ AT THE WEB 2.0 SUMMIT — While the rest of the world prepares for Halloween, there was a significantly scarier sight on display yesterday at the Palace Hotel. You truly know the web 2.0 "revolution" is over when the suits outnumber the geeks. Granted, the Palace isn't exactly a geek haven. And the pricing of badges for the conference is certainly out of the range of most of your average Web coders. But it's easily within the grasp of venture capitalists, marketing weenies, and CEOs. And that's just who attended this, the second Web 2.0 conference of the year. More » -
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Brits act like twits at Intel event
CONFONZ — The Conference Fonzie was certain that Britain was known for its manners. Those beloved British boxing boys are supposed to be well behaved and polite in all social situations, aren't they? Unfortunately, this doesn't seem to apply to imported Limey tech journalists. To their credit, Intel's international press day, a preface to the Intel Developer Forum at San Francisco's Moscone Center later this week, is a somewhat dull event. More » -
confonz
A tale of two conferences
CONFONZ — Last week saw two ubernerdy conferences for customers of two big software companies in San Francisco. BEA's conference at Moscone West was completely fucking empty. There were a handful of people on each floor, all looking around wondering why there was no one nearby with which to press the flesh. VMware's conference, at Moscone North and South, by contrast, was hopping. With a massive Treasure Island party and no expense spared on the food and conference bag, VMware sucked in the dollars and attention, while BEA sat unloved across the street, with nary a surly teamster to defend it. Hmmm, what's going on here? More »
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Comment by World of Warcraft Map Guy: Looks like the VMWorld schwag was basically a backpack: [www.jume.nl] At least the TC40 goody bag had something to make the... more » | Other threads
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confonz
We're from Yahoo, and we're here to help
Please welcome back the ConFonz, our secret correspondent from the world of conferences. — Ed. More »
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Comment by mandarin: Thats really bad... They complained about not getting free food too? I guess volunteers these days require something in return huh? more » | Other threads
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confonz
Outcast's CEO Dinner Full of Hired Geeks
CONFONZ — To be perfectly honest, Terra, just underneath the Bay bridge, is becomign the go-to spot for any and all PR firms to hold events for their clients. Unfortunately, this means that your humble narrator, the Conference Fonzerelli, has had some of his weaker moments in front of the wait-staff therein. Fortunately, they're a tight lipped bunch, and they didn't out the Fonz for who he really is at last night's Outcast PR CEO dinner. After the jump, we detail the high ratio of Press-to-CEO's, and dish some dirt on the WSJ. More » -
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The ConFonz Goes to College
CONFONZ — Lo, and below him, he saw the valley. Above him he saw the smog filled skies, and in his hand he found a broken bottle of bourbon, half drained and bloodied. Where had this bottle come from, and why was the humble Conference Fonzerelli stumbling around on Microsoft's Mountain View campus? And, for the love of Allah, why are all the urinals here one foot off the ground? Is this Paris? Japan? Does Microsoft employ lots of little men? Yes, gentle reader, the ConFonz is in charge of Valleywag today, and the fun has only just started. After the jump, the ConFonz goes to college. More » -
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ConFonz at RSA
Hold on to your hats — we hear Bill Gates was boring as the keynote speaker for the info-security RSA Conference, ongoing at Moscone Center. Fortunately, Conference Fonzerelli is on hand, much to his personal regret. The ConFonz quoth:The fabulous and sexy Conference Fonzerelli has trouble avoiding parties. Even when he stopped to retch up the last of his peyote buttons into an alley off second street, he found himself standing outside of the PingIdentity party.
Read on for partially redemptive Microsoft pull quote. More » -
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confonz
ConFonz At Oracle OpenWorld
You're all expecting some sort of expletive-encrusted fecal-festival gracing gooey herein html. Bully bullocks are always zipping zazzily towards you fucking alphabetical heads. More » -
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ConFonz at Office 2.0: Everybody gets a Nano!
Heyyyyy, ConFonz! Valleywag's go-to man for conferences smells Oprah-style freebies at Office 2.0. More » -
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ConFonz at the Intel Developer Forum
This week, the Conference Fonzie reports from the Intel Developer Forum at SF's Moscone Center. Dig in! More » -
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ConFonz at BEA World: Warning: obscene muppet reference
ConFonz returns with yet another conference report. This time he reports from the BEA Systems enterprise software conference at San Francisco's Moscone Center. More » -
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ConFonz runs from the Wooly Debianoid herd at LinuxWorld
The Conference Fonzie is still at LinuxWorld, this time sending in his longest report yet. Like a North Atlantic iceberg, most of this one is under the horizon; hit the post title to see it all. More »
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By Nick DouglasComment by regine: Arty types know there is a public wifi connection at the Yerba Buena Center lobby (no admission needed) just around... more » | Other threads
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confonz
ConFonz rides the penguin at LinuxWorld
Valleywag correspondent ConFonz reports today from the world's most graybeard-saturated convention. LinuxWorld is like Disney World without the trauma of seeing an on-break Goofy holding his own head. More » -
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ConFonz dons his black hat
Valleywag correspondent ConFonz raced out of Silicon Valley to hang at DefCon, the daddy of all hacker conventions. Here's his report, grisly as a post-mescaline Hunter S. Thompson piece. More » -
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The ConFonz Attends the Semicolon Conference
Valleywag's conference correspondent, the ConFonz, is slowly turning his column here into Fear and Loathing in San Jose. Enjoy. More » -
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ConFonz [CENSORED]s a [CENSORED] up the [CENSORED]
Valleywag abhors censorship. But it also abhors looking like a [CENSORED] that just [CENSORED]ed two double-D [CENSORED]s. The latest Conference Fonzie report belongs on "The Aristocrats" more than it does on this blog, so enjoy ConFonz's, erm, colorful metaphors as he describes the MI6 Conference. More »
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By Nick DouglasComment by Fatlimey: Why yes, Trixiebubbles, that's has to be it. Tcha! How could we have been so dumb. more » | Other threads
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confonz
ConFonz at the IEEE Microwave Thingie at the Moscone
Aaayyy, ConFonz! Valleywag's best-groomed correspondent finds the dance floor and stays remarkably un-potty-mouthed at the IEEE Microwave Something-or-Other Con. More » -
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Sperm-proof screens: ConFonz hits the Society for Information Display
ConFonz, is nursing a SloshCon hangover — "Aaaay, I'm up and moving!" — but even a morning migraine can't stop Valleywag's favorite correspondent from reporting. More »
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By Nick DouglasComment by Nick Douglas: Craig, you definitely missed a great party, so let's hope I plan the fall one when you're available! more » | Other threads
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Where are the baiters?
As the Register's Andrew Orlowski flies back to England, it's time to check up on the other trolls of tech — the real journalists, fake journalists, and — ugh — bloggers. More » -
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Guess where ConFonz ate things
The ConFonz eats more than the souls of young booth jockeys. Valleywag's conference correspondent turns his gastronomic distress into a game: Guess the conference luncheons! More » -
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ConFonz at JavaOne 2006: God, who switched to decaf?
It takes more than a roomful of beanbag chairs to impress the ConFonz. Valleywag's favorite conference correspondent comes away from Sun's JavaOne conference with an upset stomach, a full bladder, and a case of the shakes. More »
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By Nick DouglasComment by pb: Splunk's t-shirts were a lot more popular than the keynote. more » | Other threads
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confonz
ConFonz finishes E3: Stick a fork in Sony, it's done
Valleywag conference correspondent ConFonz goes gonzo with a final update from E3. Among the news from the gaming mega-conference: gossips say the makers of Oddworld were fueled by Mary Jane. More »
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By Nick DouglasComment by Matt-E: Probably a little late but Joe Bestbuy walks in, sees the high end 360, the high end PS3, and the,... more » | Other threads
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confonz
ConFonz at E3: "Uneven grounf"
ConFonz, a favorite Valleywag roving correspondent, reports again from E3 — this time, I suspect, from the hotel bar. It's okay, it was Thursday night and everyone was drunk. But just for fun, Valleywag won't proofread this edition of ConFonz. More » -
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ConFonz at E3: Wal-Mart robs gamers of their booth babes
Big brother Kotaku's got a whole team at the E3 gaming mega-fest this week, but Valleywag, like any good tech outlet, outsourced its reporting to cheaper, less hygenic laborers. Valleywag friend ConFonz turns in another stellar report, the first of his missives from this love-in of gamers, game makers, and the boring dudes in between. More » -
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ConFonz at Ad:Tech: More sex metaphors than you can shake your stick at
ConFonz is off in his own special universe this week, a world of orgies and extreme public deviance. Before checking into rehab AND a mental clinic, he filed a report from the ongoing Ad:Tech conference that reads like the script for The Aristocrats. More » -
makezine
ConFonz at Maker Faire: I guess the kids didn't count
ConFonz is a cynic — how else to explain his take on this weekend's Maker Faire in San Mateo? Not a mention of all the children running around, sticking their hands in rotating bicycle wheels and playing with fire. But for those who missed the Faire, chew on the Fonz's sour grapes. More » -
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ConFonz at ESC: I know what a database is, dammit
The Embedded Systems Conference — "where solutions come looking for great minds." Gee, sounds fun. Valleywag correspondent ConFonz dropped by and left dazed and confused. More » -
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ConFonz at Software 2006: Free coffee makes a happy ConFonz
He liked it! ConFonz liked it! The jet-setting conference vet comes back refreshed from Software 2006. Here's his report, with some editorial ads to cut down on the defamation lawsuits. More » -
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Week's best posts: Everybody loves Larry
What a week for the Valley, what a week for Valleywag! Actually, I'm just saying that. Top stories this week: More » -
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ConFonz at EclipseCON: Where the wild things are
It's a twofer today — ConFonz finds the hackers at EclipseCON 2006. Here's the wrap-up, either from ConFonz or from whatever script kiddy took over his laptop. More » -
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ConFonz at GDC: Will Wright's sloppy like Poppy
Valleywag conference correspondent ConFonz pops in from this week's Game Developers Convention in San Jose, where the future's cloudy and the strippers are far away. More » -
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ConFonz: Sid Meiers stays at the W
The ConFonz calls in from 2K Games and sets a few records straight — like whether the gaming gene is dominant. More » -
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ConFonz: Old farts and pimply teens in Santa Clara
ConFonz gives a break from all the SXSW news with demographic reports (old, fat) from a conference actually going on in the Valley. After reading this, though, it looks like Silicon Valley needs its beautiful SXSW-attending emigrants back from Austin. Thank God we're all flying back today. More »
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By ndouglasComment by Nick Douglas: Someone's gotta set the clear-skinned ones with jobs apart. more » | Other threads
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Open blinds: Player at the game conference
Valleywag conference correspondent ConFonz drops an item too juicy to run with names — for now. Which Game Marketing Conference attendee isn't playing fair? More » -
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ConFonz at the I-Play party
The latest ConFonz update leads right into an afterparty gossipfest. Continuing from where he left off: More » -
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ConFonz at the Game Marketing Conference: gamers vs. little old ladies
Valleywag's conference-going correspondent — or ConFonz, the name he's adopted for protection and lucrative merchandising ops — sends a multi-part report from the SF-hosted Game Marketing Conference. Why does ConFonz always get pushed out by dermatologists or dowagers? More »
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