Gawker
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blogging for dollars
Return of Fake Steve Is a Vote of Confidence in Real Steve
Fake Steve Jobs is back. Dan Lyons, author of the piercingly funny satire blog, insists his return may be temporary. But he wouldn't be having this much fun with Jobs' illness if he still worried about the Apple CEO's death. More »
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By Ryan TateComment by Matthew_Maurice: WooHOO! Yelptards you've been put back on notice. BTW, anyone seen Bike Helmet Girl lately? more » | Other threads
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dan lyons
Fake Steve Jobs Totally Gives Up on Blogging
Getting rich by blogging is "another high-tech fairy tale," writes Dan Lyons in Newsweek. He should know — he tried and failed, with nothing to show for his blogging career but 20 extra pounds. More »
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By Owen ThomasComment by cassandra: That's retarded. The whole point of blogging is to get a book deal without doing any actual hard work. He... 2 Responses | Other threads
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jim goldman
Why CNBC's Tech Reporter Keeps Coming Up Short
There's a reason why CNBC viewers get shortchanged on their tech coverage: Jim Goldman, the network's Silicon Valley bureau chief, is not very tall. It's the kind of thing polite people don't talk about here. More »
9,121
By Owen ThomasComment by Aaron Altman: What the fuck was this? If you're going to criticize a journalist, can we stick to criticizing his journalism... 10 Responses | Other threads
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apple
Fake Steve Jobs Unloads on Real Steve Jobs
Dan Lyons, the Newsweek columnist who launched his career from obscurity by impersonating Apple's CEO on a viciously satirical blog, has revealed what he really thinks of the man. Put on your blast armor. More »
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By Owen ThomasComment by Paul_Is_Drunk: Steve Jobs publicly refused to acknowledge his daughter for years. Steve Jobs runs a monopolistic corporation that, while creative, hinders competitive... 8 Responses | Other threads
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confirmed
Newsweek bosses ensure Fake Steve Jobs blogger will blog no more
My worst fears for a favorite writer have been confirmed: Dan Lyons told Valleywag alumnus Jordan Golson via phone that (A) Newsweek, his new employer, ordered Lyons to remove a blog post calling Yahoo publicists "lying sacks of shit," and (B) rather than continue to blog under the boss's watchful eye, Lyons — once Internet-famous as the Fake Steve Jobs — has stopped blogging altogether. The man has two kids and Newsweek pays real money, so I'm not going to toss rocks. Except at Newsweek, which hired Lyons because of Fake Steve Jobs, his hilarious fake-Apple-CEO persona; urged him to blog outside the magazine; then freaked out when Lyons continued to write honestly in his spare time. You maniacs! You blew it up!
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By Paul BoutinComment by Shamoononon, Vampire Grater - Now SWF: Soon to return as the Fake, Fake Steve Jobs? 1 Responses | Other threads
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dan lyons
Newsweek reporter unpublishes himself
In theory, pro journalists can climb to the top of their fields without sacrificing their built-in urge to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. In practice, even the loosest cannons find themselves battened to the hatch, or whatever the right sailing metaphor is. One of my role models, former Fake Steve Jobs blogger Dan Lyons, seems to have been forced by his new employer to undo his own writing. Here's what happened. More »
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By Paul BoutinComment by buzzzkilll: Maybe the post is down because libel is, like, illegal? Duh. 3 Responses | Other threads
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dan lyons
Newsweek reporter: Yahoo PR "lying sacks of s—-"
Dan Lyons is shocked, shocked that Yahoo's PR team lied to him about how long CEO Jerry Yang would stay in the job. PR people routinely lie; it's part of the job description. But the good ones don't get caught. Lyons, Newsweek's tech columnist, interviewed Yahoo chairman Roy Bostock less than a month before Monday's announcement that Yang would step down, and Bostock loudly declared Yang was here to stay. One would think no one would be more cynical about the world of tech PR than the man who savaged Apple's spinmeister when he impersonated CEO Steve Jobs in a satirical blog. Lyons is no longer writing as Fake Steve Jobs, but as the real Dan Lyons, he occasionally summons up the old savagery. Here's what he says about the flacks who deceived him about Yang's employment status, as well as a now-scotched advertising deal with Google: More »
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By Owen ThomasComment by AltheaWaffles: Dan is a loser. He deletes posts, deletes comments. I'm just waiting for him to delete his entire blog. 1 Responses | Other threads
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book review
Guy Kawasaki's new book — an excerpt from the foreword
Yesterday, as Web 2.0's bubble burst in slow motion at 30,000 feet over downtown San Francisco, I received a preview copy of Reality Check, by Guy Kawasaki. Someone had stuck a Post-it on the cover: "See inside for foreword by The Fake Steve Jobs!" Awesome. I'm never going to read Kawasaki's book, even though he's way more successful than I'll ever be. I skipped to Dan Lyons's foreword, written in his Fake Steve persona. Here's the best parts: More » -
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death of print
Forbes.com, Forbes careerists gird for battle
David Churbuck, the founder of Forbes.com (and sweaty prep-school wrestling partner of Fake Steve Jobs blogger turned boring Newsweek columnist Dan Lyons), has weighed in on the chaos enveloping his former employer, the investor-friendly, snarkier-than-thou business magazine. Churbuck, like many Forbes alumni, seems to know more of what's going on than its current employees. The publication, now backed by Silicon Valley investment house Elevation Partners, is colliding together its Web and print editorial teams, and the result could be nuclear, as editors and writers scramble for position in the new order. Churbuck observes that the split between print and online had its roots in a plan to spin off Forbes.com in an IPO during the go-go late '90s; even after plans for an IPO were scrapped, the division persisted. Now, Elevation is pushing to consolidate the staffs, Churbuck says. Separately, a tipster reports several personnel moves happening at Forbes. Are they coincidence, or a sign of people positioning their own careers for the coming upheaval? Hard to say. More »
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By Owen ThomasComment by damnedfool: totally not true about betsy -- she gave up the gig years ago because she didn't want it. more » | Other threads
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great moments in journalism
Free Dan Lyons!
I'm glad Dan Lyons has landed a high-profile gig at Newsweek. But the newsweekly format crushes everything I love about Dan's writing. Look at his latest: He starts with a provocative question — why is Jerry Yang still in charge? — but doesn't answer it in the cutting manner we've come to expect. "Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer recently made an off-the-cuff, public comment that seemed to indicate to some he might still be interested in Yahoo." Dan, this is the kind of writing Fake Steve used to shred with his bare hands. Namaste, but please forward us some of those canned layoff leaks companies send you now that you're a checkout-stand hero. More »
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By Paul BoutinComment by TMonster: Anonimity is a powerful tool. Why do you think confession boxes are designed the way they are? Remove the veil... more » | Other threads
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we read twitter so you don't have to
Robert Scoble hugs the hate from his blog nemesis
CAMBRIDGE, MASS. — As Fake Steve Jobs, Dan Lyons obsessed over Fast Company videoblogger Robert Scoble. Who is he? Where did he come from? Why won't he shut up? Why won't people in Silicon Valley shut up about him? All those questions melted away when Scoble and Lyons pressed the flesh at MIT's EmTech conference.
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By Owen ThomasComment by Wabewalker: More proof that Dan Lyons has jumped the shark. He can fade back into obscurity now. more » | Other threads
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blogging for dollars
Dan Lyons toys with bringing Fake Steve Jobs back
In Dan Lyons's Fake Steve Jobs blog, he played the Apple CEO as a cynic who borrowed the cult-creation techniques of old-world and new-age mystics in order to more efficiently exploit a workforce and market products. But the actual Dan Lyons, now a bloggin' Newsweek reporter, has a heart. Speaking at the Web 2.0 Expo, Lyons apologized for not being as funny as his avatar Fake Steve Jobs since leaving Forbes and starting his new blog, Real Dan Lyons. So why did Lyons give up the ghost of Fake Steve? He confirmed for the crowd what Valleywag had reported:Lyons couldn't bring himself to mock a cancer sufferer who's wasting away. More »
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By Jackson WestComment by BiZarRroBALlmeR: yea that's why, he's so sensitive. more » | Other threads
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great moments in pr
Dan Lyons catches Apple employees pretending to be fanboys
Steve Jobs's latest Applefest was a nonevent, with nothing more to show than updates to the iPod line and iTunes software. But the cheers at the glorified press conference yesterday were as blustery as they ever are at Apple events. Newsweek's Dan Lyons must have been bored by what was being said on stage, because he was paying more attention to the rest of the audience. He reports that much of the crowd was clapping so loud because they were paid to. More »
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Comment by celery: To be fair, most Apple employees really are starry-eyed Apple fanboys. 1 Responses | Other threads
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blogging for dollars
Dan Lyons may restart Fake Steve Jobs blog for Newsweek
"I’m starting at Newsweek tomorrow and Fake Steve was supposed to be part of my job. So we’re going to discuss whether to revive the blog." — Excerpt from an email message from semi-retired Fake Steve Jobs blogger Dan Lyons to Mac Soda blogger mykbibby. Contrary to speculation by certain people we could name but won't, Lyons didn't kill the blog to curry favor with Apple for Newsweek. It was more personal. More » -
debunker
Dan Lyons is not trying to make it in standup comedy
Newsweek reporter Dan Lyons, the man behind Fake Steve Jobs, emailed us to confirm that he has definitely not been making appearances at comedy open-mic nights in San Francisco: More »
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By Jackson WestComment by Jandek: No one cares about dan lyons. This blog is shit. No news is good news. Posts about dan lyons and/or... more » | Other threads
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dan lyons
Former Fake Steve Jobs pursuing standup comedy career?
Is Dan Lyons working open mic nights at comedy clubs in San Francisco? If true, it adds a whole new layer to the conspiracy theories about his new job at Newsweek cutting into his blogging habit. I can hear the editor now: "Son, this is Newsweek. If you want to be funny, go tell jokes at a nightclub." We're skeptical of the rumor, though, because Dan usually calls us before he comes to town to set up time to drink. Dan, you sneaking around on us? That aside, I'd pay to see Fake Steve Live at least once. (Photo by Mark Coggins)
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By Jackson WestComment by mrfomoco: Sorry, Dan, but your blog's humor was almost entirely in the characterization. America loves a clever rogue and your 'Fake... more » | Other threads
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blogging for dollars
Forget Fake Steve — Real Dan Lyons is even better
To be honest, I didn't think Fake Steve Jobs author Dan Lyons would be able to keep it coming under his own name. (And also to be honest, I looked into getting his old job at Forbes.) Anyway, now that Dan is up and running at realdanlyons.com, he's got me laughing orange soda out my nose. Right onto my brand new iMac keyboard, Dan. That superflat one Steve worked so hard on. Dan's secret? He really does talk like this. All the time. Drives waitresses crazy. Three must-read, will-cringe excerpts from his recent posts: More »
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By Paul BoutinComment by Uncle-Sam's Littlle Helper: My spam email is even better... I get funny email spam, which I can't figure out. It says: Title: Boy eats... more » | Other threads
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blogging for dollars
Dan Lyons quits Fake Steve Jobs before the real Steve Jobs drops dead on him
In humor, timing is everything. And death just ain't that funny. That's why Dan Lyons is quitting the Secret Diary of Steve Jobs blog. True, he's planning to turn his Fake Steve Jobs schtick into a second book. And his new job as Newsweek's gadget columnist may require more decorous relations with Apple — note that Newsweek, usually the object of favored treatment by Apple PR, didn't get an early iPhone 3G to review. But the real reason why Lyons is dropping Fake Steve? Because the state of the real Apple CEO's health had Lyons scared. More »
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By Owen ThomasComment by Shadowlayer: @rimplestultskin: OSX would be a real alternative if Apple started churning Macs at reasonable prices. Seriously they're charging the same... more » | Other threads
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yahoo raid
Fake Jerry Yang responds to the New York Times — the 20-word version
With Fake Steve Jobs on sabbatical, Fake Jerry Yang has picked up the slack to chime in on Joe Nocera's scathing open letter in the New York Times. Shortly before the vulgarities is this little gem, which says more about the New York media landscape than it does about the Microsoft-Yahoo-Google three-way: More » -
fake steve jobs
Dan Lyons going to Newsweek makes encounter with Real Steve Jobs almost inevitable
Newsweek, along with Time, the Wall Street Journal and the New York Times, is on the short list of publications that Apple CEO Steve Jobs will actually deign to meet and speak with. Dan Lyons, aka Fake Steve Jobs, is taking over as the lead tech reporter at Newsweek. That leads us to a tantalizing conclusion: It can't be long before Fake Steve Jobs and Real Steve Jobs meet in person. Like the attempt at discovering the Higgs boson at the Large Hadron Collider, the unintended consequences could involve the earth folding in on itself. We wait with bated breath.
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By Jackson WestComment by NotJulia: What will that do to the integrity of the space time continuum? They can never touch!!! Where is the... more » | Other threads
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dan lyons
Fake Steve Jobs leaves old-media job for old-media job
He invented The Secret Diary of Steve Jobs. Have you friggin' heard of it? Dan Lyons, the Apple CEO impersonator whose identity so bedeviled us until he was outed last year, is leaving Forbes for Newsweek, taking the place of Steven Levy as Newsweek's house technophile. So much for a brave leap into the unknown world of the Web. Lyons had made no secret of his discontent at Forbes, where the website is run separately from the print magazine and the two sides hate each other; high-level strongarming was required to get Forbes.com to link to Lyons's blog, which he will now take with him to Newsweek. (Photo by Mark Coggins)
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By Owen ThomasComment by simoncameron: So, Forbes is not the nominal owner of Fakesteve, what happens to the blog? more » | Other threads
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nerdfight
Wired editor Leander Kahney vs. Fake Steve Jobs — guess who wins?
Wired editor Leander Kahney went up against Forbes editor Dan Lyons's Fake Steve Jobs character in a three-round mano-a-mano debate about Apple. Lyons completely wipes the floor with Kahney. Did Wired ever think this would be a fair fight? This utterly unlevel playing field shows why we're glad we were wrong about Leander Kahney being Fake Steve. This short excerpt really sums it up: More »
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Comment by Blackjack: I thought anger led to the Dark Side? Do I have to retake Sith History 101 again? Professor Palpatine's kind... more » | Other threads
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quotable
"Facebook is a vehicle through which a bunch of investors in the Valley hope to turn a small pile of money into a much bigger pile of money by selling shares in the public markets. That is Facebook's core business." [The Secret Diary of Steve Jobs] -
stocks
Charlie Wolf, Fake Steve Jobs fan, upgrades AAPL to "Strong Buy"
Needham & Co. analyst Charlie Wolf has upgraded Apple to "Strong Buy" in a research note, basing his optimism "chiefly on the prospect that the current migration of Windows users to the Mac platform is likely to accelerate over the next several years." His target for the stock is $235, nearly $100 above today's closing price of $139. We wonder if Charlie's feelings were enhanced by sitting next to Forbes editor Dan Lyons, the Fake Steve Jobs blog rogue, at the Macworld keynote? Wolf told us he was a big fan of Fake Steve Jobs — so are we, Charlie. -
matthew harrington
Fake Steve Jobs accepts "stupid plastic monkey award"
No one from Apple actually showed up to accept their award at the Crunchies Friday, so Dan Lyons obliged, as Fake Steve Jobs.
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Comment by sample032: It seems Meebo is displaying theirs with pride: [www.flickr.com] But come on, let's be honest; with that business plan, they need... more » | Other threads
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party report
Gizmodo, Ars Technica party all night
Poor Ars Technica and Gizmodo. The gadget sites invited San Francisco's thirsty class over for some pre-Macworld booze at Harlot in SoMa last night, and the assembled crowd drank the hosted bar dry in 35 minutes flat. I ran into a host of familiar faces there, including a certain Farker who goes by the unforgettable login of "catbutt." So unforgettable that I called him ... well, something else instead. And no, I'm not throwing David Ulevitch the shocker — just a gesture that looks a lot like it. Fake Steve Jobs blogger Dan Lyons, making his Macworld debut, drew a tight bubble of fans around him everywhere he went. More »
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By Owen ThomasComment by AJ_Syrinx: A bar sucked dry in 35 minutes? That's poor open bar management right there. Cheap, cheap, cheap. more » | Other threads
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blogging for dollars
Fake Steve's holiday fable fooled me, too
Fake Steve Jobs has confirmed our very special correspondent's spoiler: The Apple lawsuit Dan Lyons blogged about is as fake as his blog. Some of you may feel duped or even a bit angry. Don't. More »
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Comment by deathbychichi: I enjoy Fake Steve. I give Dan a pass for his pro-SCO articles, his anti-blog article and his freetard-baiting,... more » | Other threads
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blogtards
Fake Steve shutdown drama explained
Folks, please stop emailing us that either (a) Valleywag is afraid to run the story that Apple is trying to shut down Fake Steve Jobs, or (b) Fake Steve author Dan Lyons is perpetrating a hoax to — I love this — to get onto Techmeme. Let me spell it out for you: LYONS IS KIDDING! He's trying — and failing — to illustrate that the legal settlement between Apple and Think Secret is a bad thing. Two reasons: (1) It's corporate thuggery from Apple, which once compared itself to friggin' Gandhi in an ad. (2) By shutting down and probably taking a payout, Think Secret's publisher has done himself a favor, but set a bad example. How much should Apple pay Valleywag to shut up? Ok, don't answer that, but you get my point. -
great moments in journalism
eWeek reporter runs press releases as his articles
Ziff-Davis senior editor Steven J. Vaughan-Nichols is a publicist's dream. As documented a dozen times here and here and just now here by Fake Steve Jobs blogger (and sharp-minded Forbes editor) Dan Lyons, Vaughan-Nichols copies large swatches of press releases from Novell and other tech vendors into his articles on eWeek's Linux-Watch site. You might think this amounts to blatant plagiarism and copyright infringement, but you'd be wrong. More »
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By Paul BoutinComment by editingwhiz: @Derik: See Vulgar Vulgrin above. I thought most turkeys got taken out at Thanksgiving; what are YOU still doing here? more » | Other threads
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exclusive
Fake Bono revealed!
Since I first noticed that Fake Bono had taken over Fake Steve Jobs's blog, I've been wondering who Fake Bono really is. We had a number of guesses: Dan Lyons was taking on a second alter ego; Bono himself was writing; Marc Bodnick, cofounder of Elevation Partners, where Bono is a partner, was taking a turn; and Bono-wannabe Valleywag contributor Paul Boutin. After carefully reviewing the Bono posts, we're ready to reveal the identity of Fake Bono. More »
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Comment by Michael J Lambie: I saw him in LA and swore it was him. he even did the accent. when he sang, we knew... more » | Other threads
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lazy valleywag
Who is Fake Bono?
Over the long Thanksgiving weekend, Forbes editor Dan Lyons's Fake Steve Jobs blog was taken over by Fake Bono. As the story goes, Bono was spending Thanksgiving at Jobs's house and found El Jobso had left himself logged into Blogger. He got drunk with Googlers, flew on Marissa Mayer's jet to meet the Pope in Uganda, introduced the U2 Edition iPhone, and wouldn't shut up about his RED campaign. Really, who is this guy? Send guesses my way. After the jump, an apology of sorts from Fake Bono to Fake Steve. More »
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Comment by Carlos: I only signed in to second the nomination for Paul "Shades" Boutin more » | Other threads
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lawsuits
Options suit against Apple and Steve Jobs dismissed
Talk about spoilers. Bloomberg News reports that Judge Jeremy Fogel has dismissed a lawsuit claiming Apple CEO Steve Jobs and his executives lied to shareholders about backdating 6,428 stock-option grants issued from 1997 to 2002. With apologies to Fake Steve apologists, there's no longer any reason to read Dan Lyon's Options, a fictionalized account of the legal troubles Jobs faced over the backdating scandal. (Except for the fact that it's howlingly funny.) Even Lyons's ending is less of a letdown than this. More »
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Comment by sample032: Options dating problems come up; Apple stock price keeps rising on iPhone news, giving Steve Jobs a "we don't mind"... more » | Other threads
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mysteries
TheFunded's "Ted" is Adeo Ressi
Why is Adeo Ressi smilling? The serial entrepreneur, now CEO of Game Trust, has pulled one over Sand Hill Road. Through a forwarded Skype phone line, Gmail account, and proxy-registered domain name, he's hidden his secret identity as "Ted," the creator of VC-ratings discussion board TheFunded.com. Now, at a time of his own choosing, staged in sync with a Wired profile, Ressi has outed himself. Which tells us one thing: He's much, much smarter than Fake Steve Jobs blogtard Dan Lyons.
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By Owen ThomasComment by barrieharrop: Adeo your have done a marvelous thing,saving time to get some "due diligence" on VC's is excellent ,sure some the... more » | Other threads
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fanboys
The only virus you'll ever get from Apple
The slight case of sniffles and coughs making the rounds in SF has been dubbed the Woz Cold. Urban legend has it that Apple cofounder Steve Wozniak appeared to introduce Fake Steve blogger Dan Lyons on the Peninsula a week ago despite a nagging head and/or chest cold, depending on who you ask. Woz shook hands and buddied up for photos at the event. Now we're all snuffling and Apple's stock is ... oh wait, it's back near 170. Never mind.
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By Paul BoutinComment by sample032: Remember the scene from the South Park movie? "Yeeth, I saw the Terrance and Phillip movie, who wants to... more » | Other threads
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party report
Fake Steve Jobs gets down with San Francisco's filthiest hacks
The dirty secret behind last night's book-tour party for Dan Lyons, the man behind the Fake Steve Jobs blog? Rumor is it almost didn't happen, thanks to a little tiff over who was going to rep him. Flack fight! After the jump, the real battle over Fake Steve. More »
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By Owen ThomasComment by Trackback: I hate to break character but every once in a while I have no choice. I'm doing it today so... more » | Other threads
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dan lyons
Fake Steve Jobs talk turns into on-stage three-way
The Q&A session at the Computer History Museum last night was billed as a talk between former Apple evangelist turned venture capitalist Guy Kawasaki and former anonymous blogger turned book shill Dan Lyons, better known as Fake Steve Jobs. But it quickly turned into a sordid three-way. Brad Stone, the New York Times scribe who outed Lyons as Fake Steve joined the two on stage, and what was billed as the "Confessions of Fake Steve Jobs" turned into a celebration of Apple, blogging, and Dan Lyons's massive mancrush on the real Steve Jobs. More »
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Comment by drue: Great wrap up Megan ~ Terry Chay did a great set of photos of the pizza mayhem now on Facebook... more » | Other threads
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leftards
Fake Steve cornered by politically-correct bookstore regulars
Options author Dan Lyons was Friday's guest author at Stacey's Bookstore in San Francisco's financial district. Several audience members — seemingly unaware that Lyons had written a parody about Steve Jobs — grilled the Forbes editor turned humorist on Apple's lack of corporate philanthropy and the allegedly widening income gap between Jobs and everyone else. When Lyons sputtered that he really didn't know the answers, one attendee snorted, "Aren't you supposed to be a business reporter?" I followed one of Lyons's attackers out of the store to a local Peet's, where she once again spoke truth to power. "It's frightening what they put in the food these days," she informed the barista. "Is this Fair Trade coffee?"
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By Paul BoutinComment by Karhan: Oh wow, I was actually at that thing. That old lady really cracked me up. She seemed rather pissed that... more » | Other threads
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valleywag calendar
Ski jumps and old computers
This weekend, check out manmade ski jumps, old computers, and — in case you're not completely over Fake Steve Jobs — more, more, more Dan Lyons! All in this weekend's Valleywag Calendar. More »
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