Return of Fake Steve Is a Vote of Confidence in Real Steve

Fake Steve Jobs is back. Dan Lyons, author of the piercingly funny satire blog, insists his return may be temporary. But he wouldn't be having this much fun with Jobs' illness if he still worried about the Apple CEO's death. More »

06/23/09

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By Ryan Tate

Comment by Matthew_Maurice: WooHOO! Yelptards you've been put back on notice. BTW, anyone seen Bike Helmet Girl lately? more » | Other threads

dan lyons

Fake Steve Jobs Totally Gives Up on Blogging

Getting rich by blogging is "another high-tech fairy tale," writes Dan Lyons in Newsweek. He should know — he tried and failed, with nothing to show for his blogging career but 20 extra pounds. More »

02/08/09

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By Owen Thomas

Comment by cassandra: That's retarded. The whole point of blogging is to get a book deal without doing any actual hard work. He... 2 Responses | Other threads

jim goldman

Why CNBC's Tech Reporter Keeps Coming Up Short

There's a reason why CNBC viewers get shortchanged on their tech coverage: Jim Goldman, the network's Silicon Valley bureau chief, is not very tall. It's the kind of thing polite people don't talk about here. More »

01/14/09

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By Owen Thomas

Comment by Aaron Altman: What the fuck was this? If you're going to criticize a journalist, can we stick to criticizing his journalism... 10 Responses | Other threads

apple

Fake Steve Jobs Unloads on Real Steve Jobs

Dan Lyons, the Newsweek columnist who launched his career from obscurity by impersonating Apple's CEO on a viciously satirical blog, has revealed what he really thinks of the man. Put on your blast armor. More »

01/11/09

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By Owen Thomas

Comment by Paul_Is_Drunk: Steve Jobs publicly refused to acknowledge his daughter for years. Steve Jobs runs a monopolistic corporation that, while creative, hinders competitive... 8 Responses | Other threads

confirmed

Newsweek bosses ensure Fake Steve Jobs blogger will blog no more

My worst fears for a favorite writer have been confirmed: Dan Lyons told Valleywag alumnus Jordan Golson via phone that (A) Newsweek, his new employer, ordered Lyons to remove a blog post calling Yahoo publicists "lying sacks of shit," and (B) rather than continue to blog under the boss's watchful eye, Lyons — once Internet-famous as the Fake Steve Jobs — has stopped blogging altogether. The man has two kids and Newsweek pays real money, so I'm not going to toss rocks. Except at Newsweek, which hired Lyons because of Fake Steve Jobs, his hilarious fake-Apple-CEO persona; urged him to blog outside the magazine; then freaked out when Lyons continued to write honestly in his spare time. You maniacs! You blew it up!

11/18/08

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By Paul Boutin

Comment by Shamoononon, Vampire Grater: Soon to return as the Fake, Fake Steve Jobs? 1 Responses | Other threads

dan lyons

Newsweek reporter unpublishes himself

In theory, pro journalists can climb to the top of their fields without sacrificing their built-in urge to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. In practice, even the loosest cannons find themselves battened to the hatch, or whatever the right sailing metaphor is. One of my role models, former Fake Steve Jobs blogger Dan Lyons, seems to have been forced by his new employer to undo his own writing. Here's what happened. More »

11/18/08

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By Paul Boutin

Comment by buzzzkilll: Maybe the post is down because libel is, like, illegal? Duh. 3 Responses | Other threads

dan lyons

Newsweek reporter: Yahoo PR "lying sacks of s—-"

Dan Lyons is shocked, shocked that Yahoo's PR team lied to him about how long CEO Jerry Yang would stay in the job. PR people routinely lie; it's part of the job description. But the good ones don't get caught. Lyons, Newsweek's tech columnist, interviewed Yahoo chairman Roy Bostock less than a month before Monday's announcement that Yang would step down, and Bostock loudly declared Yang was here to stay. One would think no one would be more cynical about the world of tech PR than the man who savaged Apple's spinmeister when he impersonated CEO Steve Jobs in a satirical blog. Lyons is no longer writing as Fake Steve Jobs, but as the real Dan Lyons, he occasionally summons up the old savagery. Here's what he says about the flacks who deceived him about Yang's employment status, as well as a now-scotched advertising deal with Google: More »

11/17/08

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By Owen Thomas

Comment by AltheaWaffles: Dan is a loser. He deletes posts, deletes comments. I'm just waiting for him to delete his entire blog. 1 Responses | Other threads

apple

A fake Steve Jobs pops up on Facebook

There's a "Steven P Jobs" on Facebook. But it's not Apple's CEO. How can I tell? The biographical details, which anyone can get from Wikipedia, are all correct. But the "About Me" section is a dead giveaway. More »

10/29/08

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By Owen Thomas

Comment by scootinger: What's going to happen next...I bet Steve will fire those employees or something? more » | Other threads

book review

Guy Kawasaki's new book — an excerpt from the foreword

Yesterday, as Web 2.0's bubble burst in slow motion at 30,000 feet over downtown San Francisco, I received a preview copy of Reality Check, by Guy Kawasaki. Someone had stuck a Post-it on the cover: "See inside for foreword by The Fake Steve Jobs!" Awesome. I'm never going to read Kawasaki's book, even though he's way more successful than I'll ever be. I skipped to Dan Lyons's foreword, written in his Fake Steve persona. Here's the best parts: More »

10/24/08

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By Paul Boutin

Comment by Phydeaux: Did no one read The Macintosh Way? more » | Other threads

we read twitter so you don't have to

Robert Scoble hugs the hate from his blog nemesis

CAMBRIDGE, MASS. — As Fake Steve Jobs, Dan Lyons obsessed over Fast Company videoblogger Robert Scoble. Who is he? Where did he come from? Why won't he shut up? Why won't people in Silicon Valley shut up about him? All those questions melted away when Scoble and Lyons pressed the flesh at MIT's EmTech conference.

09/24/08

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By Owen Thomas

Comment by Wabewalker: More proof that Dan Lyons has jumped the shark. He can fade back into obscurity now. more » | Other threads

blogging for dollars

Dan Lyons toys with bringing Fake Steve Jobs back

In Dan Lyons's Fake Steve Jobs blog, he played the Apple CEO as a cynic who borrowed the cult-creation techniques of old-world and new-age mystics in order to more efficiently exploit a workforce and market products. But the actual Dan Lyons, now a bloggin' Newsweek reporter, has a heart. Speaking at the Web 2.0 Expo, Lyons apologized for not being as funny as his avatar Fake Steve Jobs since leaving Forbes and starting his new blog, Real Dan Lyons. So why did Lyons give up the ghost of Fake Steve? He confirmed for the crowd what Valleywag had reported:Lyons couldn't bring himself to mock a cancer sufferer who's wasting away. More »

09/19/08

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By Jackson West

Comment by BiZarRroBALlmeR: yea that's why, he's so sensitive. more » | Other threads

blogging for dollars

Dan Lyons may restart Fake Steve Jobs blog for Newsweek

"I’m starting at Newsweek tomorrow and Fake Steve was supposed to be part of my job. So we’re going to discuss whether to revive the blog." — Excerpt from an email message from semi-retired Fake Steve Jobs blogger Dan Lyons to Mac Soda blogger mykbibby. Contrary to speculation by certain people we could name but won't, Lyons didn't kill the blog to curry favor with Apple for Newsweek. It was more personal. More »

09/02/08

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By Paul Boutin

Comment by BiZarRroBALlmeR: Dan Who? more » | Other threads

dan lyons

Former Fake Steve Jobs pursuing standup comedy career?

Is Dan Lyons working open mic nights at comedy clubs in San Francisco? If true, it adds a whole new layer to the conspiracy theories about his new job at Newsweek cutting into his blogging habit. I can hear the editor now: "Son, this is Newsweek. If you want to be funny, go tell jokes at a nightclub." We're skeptical of the rumor, though, because Dan usually calls us before he comes to town to set up time to drink. Dan, you sneaking around on us? That aside, I'd pay to see Fake Steve Live at least once. (Photo by Mark Coggins)

08/15/08

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By Jackson West

Comment by mrfomoco: Sorry, Dan, but your blog's humor was almost entirely in the characterization. America loves a clever rogue and your 'Fake... more » | Other threads

blogging for dollars

Forget Fake Steve — Real Dan Lyons is even better

To be honest, I didn't think Fake Steve Jobs author Dan Lyons would be able to keep it coming under his own name. (And also to be honest, I looked into getting his old job at Forbes.) Anyway, now that Dan is up and running at realdanlyons.com, he's got me laughing orange soda out my nose. Right onto my brand new iMac keyboard, Dan. That superflat one Steve worked so hard on. Dan's secret? He really does talk like this. All the time. Drives waitresses crazy. Three must-read, will-cringe excerpts from his recent posts: More »

07/28/08

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By Paul Boutin

Comment by Uncle-Sam's Littlle Helper: My spam email is even better... I get funny email spam, which I can't figure out. It says: Title: Boy eats... more » | Other threads

blogging for dollars

Dan Lyons quits Fake Steve Jobs before the real Steve Jobs drops dead on him

In humor, timing is everything. And death just ain't that funny. That's why Dan Lyons is quitting the Secret Diary of Steve Jobs blog. True, he's planning to turn his Fake Steve Jobs schtick into a second book. And his new job as Newsweek's gadget columnist may require more decorous relations with Apple — note that Newsweek, usually the object of favored treatment by Apple PR, didn't get an early iPhone 3G to review. But the real reason why Lyons is dropping Fake Steve? Because the state of the real Apple CEO's health had Lyons scared. More »

07/09/08

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By Owen Thomas

Comment by Shadowlayer: @rimplestultskin: OSX would be a real alternative if Apple started churning Macs at reasonable prices. Seriously they're charging the same... more » | Other threads

fake steve jobs

Dan Lyons going to Newsweek makes encounter with Real Steve Jobs almost inevitable

Newsweek, along with Time, the Wall Street Journal and the New York Times, is on the short list of publications that Apple CEO Steve Jobs will actually deign to meet and speak with. Dan Lyons, aka Fake Steve Jobs, is taking over as the lead tech reporter at Newsweek. That leads us to a tantalizing conclusion: It can't be long before Fake Steve Jobs and Real Steve Jobs meet in person. Like the attempt at discovering the Higgs boson at the Large Hadron Collider, the unintended consequences could involve the earth folding in on itself. We wait with bated breath.

06/13/08

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By Jackson West

Comment by NotJulia: What will that do to the integrity of the space time continuum? They can never touch!!! Where is the... more » | Other threads

apple

Fake Steve's summer of fun — Yang, Zuckerberg, Mossberg, and Scoble's too

Public concern over Apple CEO Steve Jobs's health has not gone unheard. . He writes: More »

06/13/08

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By Nicholas Carlson

Comment by Churchill: Justa bunch of Spaz-Geek-Nerd Billionaires! more » | Other threads

dan lyons

Fake Steve Jobs leaves old-media job for old-media job

He invented The Secret Diary of Steve Jobs. Have you friggin' heard of it? Dan Lyons, the Apple CEO impersonator whose identity so bedeviled us until he was outed last year, is leaving Forbes for Newsweek, taking the place of Steven Levy as Newsweek's house technophile. So much for a brave leap into the unknown world of the Web. Lyons had made no secret of his discontent at Forbes, where the website is run separately from the print magazine and the two sides hate each other; high-level strongarming was required to get Forbes.com to link to Lyons's blog, which he will now take with him to Newsweek. (Photo by Mark Coggins)

06/13/08

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By Owen Thomas

Comment by simoncameron: So, Forbes is not the nominal owner of Fakesteve, what happens to the blog? more » | Other threads

nerdfight

Wired editor Leander Kahney vs. Fake Steve Jobs — guess who wins?

Wired editor Leander Kahney went up against Forbes editor Dan Lyons's Fake Steve Jobs character in a three-round mano-a-mano debate about Apple. Lyons completely wipes the floor with Kahney. Did Wired ever think this would be a fair fight? This utterly unlevel playing field shows why we're glad we were wrong about Leander Kahney being Fake Steve. This short excerpt really sums it up: More »

03/19/08

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By Jordan Golson

Comment by Blackjack: I thought anger led to the Dark Side? Do I have to retake Sith History 101 again? Professor Palpatine's kind... more » | Other threads

quotable

"Facebook is a vehicle through which a bunch of investors in the Valley hope to turn a small pile of money into a much bigger pile of money by selling shares in the public markets. That is Facebook's core business." [The Secret Diary of Steve Jobs]

03/05/08

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By Owen Thomas

Comment by Luuce: FSJ is yoda. more » | Other threads

alltop

Guy Kawasaki inflates egos that don't need inflating with Alltop

Alltop is Guy Kawasaki's latest project: a news aggregator which shows the titles of the last few posts from a number of different blogs in various categories including Politics, Sports, Fashion and the very aptly named Egos. The top of the Egos section includes feeds from inflated-head, Internet-famous writers like Robert Scoble, Michael Arrington, Dave Winer, Jason Calacanis, and, of course, Guy Kawasaki. In other words, it's an overblown blogroll, if a well-designed one. Nice work, Guy! We asked Fake Steve Jobs what he thought about being included in the Egos list: "I'm not sure what this site is all about, but I'm deeply honored to be included. Guy Kawasaki is a personal hero." Guy, be warned: You do not have a lock on the ego-inflation market.

02/09/08

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By Jordan Golson

Comment by JackKligmanic: It takes more time than it looks to create. It took me a week and $10 dollars for hosting to... more » | Other threads

stocks

Charlie Wolf, Fake Steve Jobs fan, upgrades AAPL to "Strong Buy"

Needham & Co. analyst Charlie Wolf has upgraded Apple to "Strong Buy" in a research note, basing his optimism "chiefly on the prospect that the current migration of Windows users to the Mac platform is likely to accelerate over the next several years." His target for the stock is $235, nearly $100 above today's closing price of $139. We wonder if Charlie's feelings were enhanced by sitting next to Forbes editor Dan Lyons, the Fake Steve Jobs blog rogue, at the Macworld keynote? Wolf told us he was a big fan of Fake Steve Jobs — so are we, Charlie.

01/23/08

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By Jordan Golson

matthew harrington

Fake Steve Jobs accepts "stupid plastic monkey award"

No one from Apple actually showed up to accept their award at the Crunchies Friday, so Dan Lyons obliged, as Fake Steve Jobs.

01/19/08

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By Jordan Golson

Comment by sample032: It seems Meebo is displaying theirs with pride: [www.flickr.com] But come on, let's be honest; with that business plan, they need... more » | Other threads

macworld 2008

At Macworld, all press are created equal, but some are more equal than others

At CES 2008, respectable press and barely-tolerated bloggers were separated into groups with different badges but mostly similar levels of access. At Macworld 2008, there was, theoretically, only one badge for all types of press. In reality? Some hacks were more equal than others. More »

01/18/08

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By Jordan Golson

Comment by WillVille: I saw all those little ribbon things. Goldman (CNBC) had one. They kind of reminded me of something you'd use for... more » | Other threads

macworld 2008

Old Media runs circles around Web 2.0 at Macworld

I took this picture of Valleywag cub reporter Jordan Golson because I think the kid has potential. But Jordan, watch and learn: See the guy typing away behind you? Forbes senior editor Dan Lyons, aka Fake Steve Jobs. And the man with the early migraine? PC World editor in chief Harry McCracken. Look at them: Work, work, work. With the dual exception of Engadget and Gizmodo, the Web 2.0 kids fell way behind the old guard in reporting this morning. Oh, and whoever decided Valleywag would report the whole thing via Twitter? You win the prize. Go back and read Uncov until you know the difference between "scale" and "fail."

01/15/08

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By Paul Boutin

Comment by Paul Boutin: @jeremy: Exactly. We lobbied Owen to give Jordan the title "Cub Reporter" and me "Metro Editor." more » | Other threads

party report

Gizmodo, Ars Technica party all night

Poor Ars Technica and Gizmodo. The gadget sites invited San Francisco's thirsty class over for some pre-Macworld booze at Harlot in SoMa last night, and the assembled crowd drank the hosted bar dry in 35 minutes flat. I ran into a host of familiar faces there, including a certain Farker who goes by the unforgettable login of "catbutt." So unforgettable that I called him ... well, something else instead. And no, I'm not throwing David Ulevitch the shocker — just a gesture that looks a lot like it. Fake Steve Jobs blogger Dan Lyons, making his Macworld debut, drew a tight bubble of fans around him everywhere he went. More »

01/15/08

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By Owen Thomas

Comment by AJ_Syrinx: A bar sucked dry in 35 minutes? That's poor open bar management right there. Cheap, cheap, cheap. more » | Other threads

blogging for dollars

Fake Steve's holiday fable fooled me, too

Fake Steve Jobs has confirmed our very special correspondent's spoiler: The Apple lawsuit Dan Lyons blogged about is as fake as his blog. Some of you may feel duped or even a bit angry. Don't. More »

12/26/07

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By Nicholas Carlson

Comment by deathbychichi: I enjoy Fake Steve. I give Dan a pass for his pro-SCO articles, his anti-blog article and his freetard-baiting,... more » | Other threads

blogtards

11/28/07

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By Tim Faulkner

exclusive

Fake Bono revealed!

Since I first noticed that Fake Bono had taken over Fake Steve Jobs's blog, I've been wondering who Fake Bono really is. We had a number of guesses: Dan Lyons was taking on a second alter ego; Bono himself was writing; Marc Bodnick, cofounder of Elevation Partners, where Bono is a partner, was taking a turn; and Bono-wannabe Valleywag contributor Paul Boutin. After carefully reviewing the Bono posts, we're ready to reveal the identity of Fake Bono. More »

11/27/07

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By Jordan Golson

Comment by Michael J Lambie: I saw him in LA and swore it was him. he even did the accent. when he sang, we knew... more » | Other threads

feuds

Local haters pile on Fake Steve

Options: The Secret Life of Steve Jobs has garnered critical praise from the New York-based media. It's not Huck Finn, but it's a good read — better-written and deeper-thinking than the blog from which it sprang. So of course the Valley's local hacks hate it. Last week it was the SF Weekly. Now, CNET actively dis-recommends the book as a holiday gift. "Fake Steve's influence failed to reach very far outside Silicon Valley, and so the novelized version of the blog has a narrow potential audience indeed," claims the unsigned review (cough yellowbelly cough), in a clear break from reality. "Additionally, three CNET News.com reporters who read Options agreed that the book just isn't that good." More »

11/26/07

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By Paul Boutin

Comment by KingTut: "...but it's a good read -- better-written and deeper-thinking than the blog from which it sprang." Sooo, are you suggesting his... more » | Other threads

lazy valleywag

Who is Fake Bono?

Over the long Thanksgiving weekend, Forbes editor Dan Lyons's Fake Steve Jobs blog was taken over by Fake Bono. As the story goes, Bono was spending Thanksgiving at Jobs's house and found El Jobso had left himself logged into Blogger. He got drunk with Googlers, flew on Marissa Mayer's jet to meet the Pope in Uganda, introduced the U2 Edition iPhone, and wouldn't shut up about his RED campaign. Really, who is this guy? Send guesses my way. After the jump, an apology of sorts from Fake Bono to Fake Steve. More »

11/26/07

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By Jordan Golson

Comment by Carlos: I only signed in to second the nomination for Paul "Shades" Boutin more » | Other threads

nicholas negroponte

One gun per foot

One Laptop Per Child founder Nicholas Negroponte set himself up for Saturday's takedown by the Wall Street Journal. As my good friend Fake Steve Jobs author Dan Lyons explains in detail, the Journal article is a classic backstab: (1) Negroponte pitches Journal a big story that evil Intel and Microsoft are undermining his world-saving mission. (2) Journal gets Negroponte to talk and talk and talk while they interview potential customers around the world. (3) Journal runs story that Negroponte is a well-meaning idiot when it comes to making and selling PCs, rather than just having big brainstorms about them. Intel and Microsoft can and will implement St. Nick's idea better than he's done himself. As Fake Steve says, boo friggin hoo. Did I mention Fake Steve and I are friends?

11/26/07

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By Paul Boutin

Comment by macbeach: How can you be friends of a fictional character unless you are one too? I assume you are just trying to... more » | Other threads

fake steve jobs

Fake Steve Jobs blog taken over by Fake Bono

"I saw that Steve had left himself logged in," writes Fake Bono from Fake Jobs's fake home in lovely fake Woodside. "I had to text Edge to find out how to give myself an account and then change Steve's password. Shhh. He hasn't figured it out yet." Do I even have to explain this one?

11/23/07

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By Paul Boutin

lawsuits

Options suit against Apple and Steve Jobs dismissed

Talk about spoilers. Bloomberg News reports that Judge Jeremy Fogel has dismissed a lawsuit claiming Apple CEO Steve Jobs and his executives lied to shareholders about backdating 6,428 stock-option grants issued from 1997 to 2002. With apologies to Fake Steve apologists, there's no longer any reason to read Dan Lyon's Options, a fictionalized account of the legal troubles Jobs faced over the backdating scandal. (Except for the fact that it's howlingly funny.) Even Lyons's ending is less of a letdown than this. More »

11/20/07

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By Nicholas Carlson

Comment by sample032: Options dating problems come up; Apple stock price keeps rising on iPhone news, giving Steve Jobs a "we don't mind"... more » | Other threads

fanboys

The only virus you'll ever get from Apple

The slight case of sniffles and coughs making the rounds in SF has been dubbed the Woz Cold. Urban legend has it that Apple cofounder Steve Wozniak appeared to introduce Fake Steve blogger Dan Lyons on the Peninsula a week ago despite a nagging head and/or chest cold, depending on who you ask. Woz shook hands and buddied up for photos at the event. Now we're all snuffling and Apple's stock is ... oh wait, it's back near 170. Never mind.

11/13/07

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By Paul Boutin

Comment by sample032: Remember the scene from the South Park movie? "Yeeth, I saw the Terrance and Phillip movie, who wants to... more » | Other threads

valleywag

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