Ashton Kutcher's Trouble With Mexicans

The father of Gmail gave his kid a pat on the back; a TV doctor defended his slang; and Ashton Kutcher's iPhone ruined his Mexican relations. The Twitterati just tried to get along. More »

Facebook Flack Learns True Identity

Andrew Golis began investigating Carly Fiorina's demon sheep; Richard Roeper cursed out Google; and Brandee Barker looked herself up. The Twitterati don't stop digging. More »

Stop Being 'Retarded,' Twitterati Implore

Chris Lehmann traded place with his wife Ana Marie Cox; Molly McAleer traded places with Rahm Emanuel; and Alex Payne's messages to Twitter.com traded places with Twitter.com's messages to Alex Payne. The Twitterati got the old switcheroo. More »

Paid Content Guy Fails to Get Paid for Content

NYU took free courseware from PaidContent's founder; your outfit freaked out Caroline McCarthy; and Emily Brill called on Google to live out loud, like her. The Twitterati eyed their circumstances warily. More »

Real Geeks Have Real Ones, Like It Rough

Alexia Tsotsis said the tits can unmake a nerd; Paul Boutin cherished his "ignorant slut" moment; and writers got shut out of Sundance. The Twitterati figured what a real geek was. More »

Bashing the iPad Bash

In this special iPad edition of Twitterati, the media elites obsessed grumpily over Steve Jobs' jeans, Steve Jobs' chair, Steve Jobs' pricing strategy and the technical ignorance of Steve Jobs' staff. The Twitterati knew that every tablet must get stoned. More »

Twitterati Mock Their Enemies

ACORN eagerly celebrated the bust of its most effective critic; Brad King wished for Condé Nast's comeuppance; and Gabe Rivera prayed that TechCrunch would fix a near-criminal advertisement. The Twitterati were out for blood. More »

Yes, Tila Tequila Just Called You Vapid

Tila Tequila lit after Heidi Montag for acting Tila Tequila-ish; Stephanie Clifford got a hatey voice mail; and Sharon Waxman's internets got clogged. The Twitterati had a grumpy Monday. More »

You'll Take Your Rebuttal, and You'll Like It

Dave Winer wanted to smackdown David Carr's "cockamamie" columns; Liz Hanks was cajoled over her "breakup;" and a Wired editor demanded better excuses. The Twitterati have answers for you, but you're not going to like them. More »

Twitterati Avert Their Eyes from Ugly Senators

Neither right-wing American pundit Jonah Goldberg nor French-wire-service-reporter Olivier Knox wanted to gaze upon the U.S.'s engorged senators; Jason Pontin saw the sky falling again; and Bow Wow wants his own movie. The Twitterati couldn't bring themselves to face reality. More »

Bill Gates Joins Twitterati, Follows Ashley Tisdale

Bill issued a coded greeting to Twitter; Anil Dash called you a weather wimp; and Leah Jones tweeted from the driver's seat. The Twitterati want you to embark on brave new adventures. More »

Ask About the Tits, Harvey

TMZ's managing editor asked a pressing boob question; Twitter's founder inflated a newspaper article; and a TechCrunch writer puffed up her sources. The Twitterati were swell. More »

Are Powerful 'Blacks' After Harry Reid?

Dave Winer said we give "blacks" too much power; Touré said sterotypically black leaders aren't allowed much power at all; and Tila Tequila celebrated the power of a new contract. The Twitterati had control issues. More »

How Not to Keep Office Secrets

Penelope Trunk knows about her co-workers' quiet conversations; Nick Douglas' super knows what he does near his computer; and Alex Payne knows he's got a hot property on his hands. The Twitterati can teach you a thing or two. More »

What Did Susan Orlean Win for You?

Diablo Cody complained about bad group sex; Susan Orlean complained about a terrible JetBlue experience; and Ben Parr complained (implicitly) about the coastal elites. The Twitterati were less than thrilled. More »

Preparing for the Worst

Chris Lehmann went shopping for end-times food with end-times people; Kevin Smith prepped his readers for more ass talk; and Evan Williams tried to adjust your movie expectations. The Twitterati braced. More »

Martha Stewart's Obscene Nog Bowl Drowns Slurring Twitterati

Martha Stewart prepared for a shocking quantity of egg nog; Lindsay Lohan got into a race thing; and Sara Gilbert reveled in old media. The Twitterati overindulged on tradition. More »

Stabby Twitterati Dance on Graves

MC Hammer pumped up a Silicon Valley rap battle; Nick Denton mocked a laid off New York Timesman; and a Fox Newser lashed out at the "hippies." The Twitterati love a fight. More »

Professional Diss Fest, Courtesy the Twitterati

Joel Madden slammed Kesha's "jacked" sounding single; a Wired editor said Roger Ebert's copy was sloppy; and David Carr doth protested about his diss too much. The Twitterati bled their rivals. More »