Lazy Sunday < Lonely Island
Andy Samberg used to be funny, honest! Before Saturday Night Live had him recording "The Chronic(what?)cles of Narnia," his comedy group "The Lonely Island" made what is possibly the only truly funny white-man rap, "The Heist," which contains the epic line "Chamomile, motherfucker!" If you'd heard of Samberg before, it's probably because of The 'Bu, TLI's series for the indy comedy show Channel 101.

Rickroll < Duckroll
Rickrolling, the practice of sending someone a link that unexpectedly leads to the music video for Rick Astley's "Never Gonna Give You Up,' is just bland; it's the Internet equivalent of saying "What? Chicken butt." It's Goatse for people too cowardly for shock sites and too unoriginal to find their own random red herring. But the Rickroll's predecessor, the duckroll — sending a link to a photo of a duck with wheels — was actually unexpected and maybe a little funny.

Badger Badger Badger < Weebl and Bob
While the animation of badgers and mushrooms is cute, it's a simpler form of the absurd humor in the creator's Weebl and Bob series. The cartoons of these two egg-shaped characters with a pie fetish are an acquired taste, and by that I mean you can't complain that it's unfunny unless you waste nine hours watching every episode.

Hot or Not < Am I Hot
Every popular social site is stolen from another. Friendster is a ripoff of Ryze.com; Facebook was ripped off from like fifty Harvard projects. Hot or Not changed its name from "Am I Hot or Not" because of threats from an older site called "Am I Hot," which the newer site's owners bought three years later, once they'd made tons of money through ads and a delicously shallow dating service. However "Am I Hot" was, the sheer volume of traffic, the reduction of every score to a 7.3, and the Facebook app make Hot or Not worse.

Ask a Ninja < Real Ultimate Power and Homestar Runner
I like Ask a Ninja. I mean kudos to them for being more than the same joke over and over. But asking a ninja for advice is just a combo of the pure ninja-fetish fun of "Real Ultimate Power" and the Strong Bad E-mails from Homestar Runner. No comedy advice series comes anywhere close to Strong Bad's growly cartoons.

Chuck Norris Facts < Vin Diesel Facts
The joke just makes more sense with Vin Diesel, because it's not so desperately ironic and catch-phrasey, so joke writers can revel in actual creativity. Compare:
"Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song."
"When Vin Diesel goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket."
If you've seen the gun-and-bucket joke as a Chuck Norris fact, that's because it was stolen.

The commenters on Gawker, who already knew all of the above, will now tell you all the fads I forgot.

Notice the Flixster app installed on this profile, part of the Ask a Ninja socia network by Ning:

Here's a DubPages profile with an iLike app installed. Check out the "activity stream," very similar to Facebook's news feed:

1. Huge TV deal: Go big, go television. Sell out and laugh all the way to the bank.
Who can do it: Damn sharp talent. If you're lame and you want a TV spot, forget viral video. You'll just have to do whatever Carlos Mencia did.
Classiness: A-list
Poster child: Andy Samberg, who got hired along with his team from the The Lonely Island to perform and write for Saturday Night Live
Most-heard bittersweet quote: "You're the only reason I watch SNL."
End-game: Get a movie deal. Samberg has finished filming Hot Rod, which looks like the sort of sports comedy that Will Arnett wishes he could do. Again Samberg has brought Lonely Island cohorts: Akiva Schaffer directs and Jorma Taccone acts in the film.

2. Internet rockstar: Stay online and pump a prime brand.
Who can do it: Clever and ambitious acts with their own fan club
Classiness: B-list
Poster child: Ask a Ninja, who last year released a DVD compiled from their Q&A online video show
Most-heard catchphrase that's starting to wear on you: "I look forward to killing you soon!"
End-game: Build the brand. In addition to the DVD, Ask a Ninja has done a celebrity interview of Will Ferrell for his movie "Blades of Glory." The ninja has also appeared in online ads for Yahoo and reported for NPR's "All Things Considered" and David Spade's "Showbiz Show." The team is also writing a book, "The Ninja Handbook."

3. Sadly cling to fame: Appear on VH1, get a spot in a Super Bowl ad, do magazine interviews, make a half-assed second video.
Who can do it: Mediocre or accidental internet stars with a small show or a one-time fad
Classiness: D-list
Poster child: Numa Numa Guy (Gary Brolsma)
Most-heard hope-crushing quote: "Oh, ha, I never learned your real name."
End-game: End up cold and alone, hanging at the One Red Paperclip guy's house and trying to make out (and striking out, you loser) with YouTube's Little Loca.

4. Just forget it: Move on. Continue your career. Do an interview or two and forget it.
Who can do it: Normal people
Classiness: No list, no Q-score, but a class act
Poster child: Afroninja, who went back to work as a stuntman — it turns out he was (seriously) just having a terrible day.
Most-heard quote: "So what do you do now?"
End-game: A happy and satisfying life out of the public eye. Say hi to Macaulay Culkin.

Nick Douglas writes for Valleywag, Prezzish, and Look Shiny. He stole the word "webtard" from a friend's t-shirt.