The irony is that BEA rose to prominence on the notion that its application server would make things simpler for database buyers. Buy any database you'd like, and BEA's application server would connect to it. Likewise, MySQL grew as a cheaper, open-source alternative to databases from IBM and Oracle.

A database here, an application server there, a bit of open-source software on top of that all sounds nice in theory. It proved in practice to be a headache for the influential tech buyers at large corporations. One salesperson calling on them, one phone number to dial when things went wrong, it turns out, is what they really wanted.

The consolidation was inevitable, if perhaps a bit sad. The goal of the stack game is to make sure that your software is the layer on top — the one that matters to programmers, the one applications are designed for. BEA and MySQL both had grand ambitions in that regard. Those are now coming to an end. Sun and Oracle will no doubt make grand statements about how compatible their software is, how well their children play with others. Ignore those. The history of IT tells us those promises are false.

Our company just moved into the old Siebel campus in San Mateo, which has been empty since Oracle relocated the remaining employees. The only thing left of Siebel on the campus is shown in the attached photo.

No surprise, of course. Isn't BEA a former darling of the VCs and the stock market? Isn't VMware a current darling of the VC's and the stock market? Last week, anyone walking across Fourth and Howard in San Francisco could be forgiven for feeling as though they we looking at "before" and "after" shots. VMware would be the quintessential "before," meaning, they're currently worth billions since Microsoft has barely even stepped into its market for "virtualization" software. BEA Systems would be the "after," showing off the results of having IBM, Sun, and Oracle all stomp into its application-server sphere of influence.

BEA's currently got a rogue stock holder demanding the company be sold off (Oracle, you listening?). VMware is still snug in EMC's bed, around 90 percent of its stock safely in those big ass EMC vaults of cash — meaing it only has one real shareholder to please.

So, BEA World is going on at Moscone North this week. Last year, the event was held at the Santa Clara Convention Center, so this year is certainly a step up. The Conference Fonzie finds himself wondering if this company is in fact making any money here, what with the sky-high prices charged by this place. They obviously sprang for the more expensive meals, though the spreads hint that these sandwiches are the second-cheapest on the menu.

A note for BEA CEO Albert Chuang: Lose the windbreaker. If you're going to try and emulate Steve Jobs by wearing an actual black turtle neck, you need blue jeans to go with it, not the Gap's new skinny black pant. And the beige windbreaker on top made you look like some sort of 80s-style teacher trying to impress the cool kids with your hip "I'm really down to earth" wardrobe.

Another thing to keep in mind, Albert, is that when you book a customer, like Verizon, to speak as second keynote, they're not necessarily going to say anything about your products. Such was the case with Shaygan, CIO of Verizon, who spent an hour showing off the cool new things his company was doing with fibre to the curb. Not once during his entire presentation did Shaygan mention BEA or its products. Not even a "and we're able to do all this cool stuff because of BEA's JizmLogic...."

And those posters with the colored liquid? OK, sure, not so dirty, but the videos that show filled clips of said liquid being poured into water are just obscene. They look like graphic depictions of muppet semen being released into a pool.

Overall, a middling showing of a conference. What's with all the beverage cozies being handed out on the show floor? At least five of the 20-odd companies with booths here are hawking logo-emblazed beer cozies. Must be some sort of weird "Please, buy our company" tactic the Fonz was unaware of. Mental note, invest in novelty beer cozy companies.