<![CDATA[Gawker: valleywag, blake jorgensen]]> http://tags.gawker.com/assets/base/img/thumbs140x140/gawker.com.png <![CDATA[Gawker: valleywag, blake jorgensen]]> http://gawker.com/tag/valleywag/blakejorgensen http://gawker.com/tag/valleywag/blakejorgensen <![CDATA[Carol Bartz Gets New Yahoo Org Chart Half Right]]> Yahoo's new CEO Carol Bartz hates leaks, and we love Yahoo org charts, so the fact that we've received her announcement of the new Yahoo corporate structure is some kind of harmonic convergence.

There's much to the good in this org chart. Ash Patel, a famously lazy old-time Yahoo mostly regarded for his time in the job, is nowhere to be seen in Yahoo's executive ranks, replaced by CTO Ari Balogh. He's still at Yahoo, but his new job is unclear. Hopefully he'll be out the door entirely soon. And CFO Blake Jorgensen, an ineffective hire made by former Yahoo president Sue Decker (he was her best man at her wedding), is also gone.

But there are too many holdovers. Michael Callahan, a general counsel who got founder Jerry Yang hauled in front of Congress and labeled a "moral pygmy" over Yahoo's outing of a Chinese dissident, whose own department generated a labor lawsuit by Yahoo's first black, female lawyer, and who blithely expressed optimism about a lucrative advertising deal with Google that antitrust cops end up shooting down, should not be holding his job. HR chief David Windley's faults are less public, but Yahoo insiders say they loathe him.

Finally, there's the new face Bartz has picked: Elisa Steele, Yahoo's latest chief marketing officer, who joines the company from NetApp. Like Bartz, Steele previously worked at Sun. For all the same reasons that people were dubious about Bartz's hire — she's a software and hardware saleswoman who's unfamiliar with Web products and online advertising — one might be skeptical of Steele's background. Instead of shoring up her weaknesses in those fields, Bartz has hired a clone.

For those who want to plow through Bartz's explanation of what that purple graphic means, here's her memo:

From: Carol Bartz
Reply-To: Carol Bartz
Date: Thu, 26 Feb 2009 09:02:49 -0800
To: "all-worldwide@yahoo-inc.com"
Subject: Our New Organization

Yahoos,

As I've gotten to know Yahoo! over the past several weeks, I've developed a
point of view on how our organization should be structured to set us up for
success.

Our goal is simple: to consistently deliver awesome consumer and advertiser
experiences, everywhere in the world we do business. Delivering great
customer experiences is everyone's job at Yahoo! – and each part of our
organization will have a clear role in making that happen every day.

The timing of this announcement is important. As soon as decisions were
made, I wanted you to know about them — even if that means we don't have
all the details nailed down yet. Yes, there's been a lot of speculation in
the media over the past few days … that's been a little frustrating, but I'm
not willing to speak publicly about decisions before they're final. Today,
they are — so I'll lay out our new organizational structure for you now.

I know you guys have reorg fatigue. Hang in there – our intention is to
leave this structure in place for two to four years. We'll continue to make
adjustments as needed, but we expect this core structure to stay put.

The structure outlined below will enable us to make big improvements in our
product quality and operational efficiency. Part of that is simplicity –
I'm frankly amazed at how complicated some things are here! We'll have much
clearer decision making and accountability. Product and regional teams will
share responsibility for revenue targets and expense management, but we'll
have one P&L, for which I'm accountable.

We will also be in a better position to really listen to and understand our
customers -both consumers and advertisers. I think we've gotten into the
habit of focusing internally too much and we sometimes forget who we're here
to serve. You'll notice that our management structure puts a renewed focus
on the customer, with stronger feedback loops across the company… and they
all come through me.

Also, as you know, no organizational structure is a substitute for
collaboration, communication and trust. We'll all need to evolve our
behavior a bit – as teams and as individuals – to make this structure work
the way it's designed.

So here's the overview, with the roles that will report directly to me. As
you'll see, some of our leaders are still to be determined. I know you'll
want more detail than what's below – you can learn more on Backyard:
http://backyard.yahoo.com/ourorg .

Products: We've combined Tech and Product groups under one roof, led by Ari
Balogh as EVP Products & CTO. Ari's charter is to deliver global products
that enable extraordinary consumer and advertiser experiences. Ari's direct
reports now include one leader for each product group – we've taken care of
the "two in a box" problem.

One important note: The Connected Life team has been integrated into various
parts of the new organization. Our mobile strategy remains a key part of
Yahoo!'s focus going forward and all of our product groups will own mobile
innovations. After leading Connected Life for four years, Marco Boerries has
resigned from the company to spend more time with his family in Europe. We
thank Marco for his important contributions at Yahoo!.

Regions: There are now two: North America and International. As I've said
before, international growth is critical for Yahoo!, which has become too
reliant on its U.S. business over the years.

The regions deliver Yahoo!'s products, programming and services to
consumers, partners and advertisers in local markets. They will partner
closely with the newly formed Regional Solutions & Products group in Ari's
organization to help drive a significant shift in how Yahoo! develops
products for different geographies. The goal is to have global platforms on
which regional product offerings are based.

The North American region — comprised of the U.S. and Canada – is led by
Hilary Schneider. The leader of our International region, to be hired soon,
will be responsible for a cohesive Yahoo! global strategy and seizing our
international growth opportunities. Until we determine who'll lead the
International region, Rose Tsou (Asia), Rich Riley (Europe) and Keith
Nilsson (Emerging Markets) will continue to report to me.

Marketing: Elisa Steele will be joining Yahoo! as our Chief Marketing
Officer (CMO), effective March 23. Elisa joins us from NetApp where she was
SVP, Corporate Marketing. Previous to NetApp, she held executive positions
in marketing at Sun Microsystems. Elisa will oversee our global marketing
strategy and provide direction for our marketing function. She'll bring
together the various Yahoo! marketing teams that have been spread across the
company. Reporting into Elisa will be Brand Marketing, Audience Marketing,
Corporate Communications, Insights, Policy & Privacy, Community Affairs and
related central teams. I'm delighted to have Elisa joining the team.

Customer Advocacy: As I said, we can do much better in hearing the voice of
the customer across Yahoo!, and incorporating what we hear into all of our
work day-to-day. We have opened a search for a leader, who will oversee
Customer Care and Ad Operations globally with the goal of improving how we
support Yahoo!'s users and advertisers. In the interim, these teams will
continue to report to Hilary.

Service Engineering & Operations: This new team is responsible for
delivering common technology services at scale, including application
management and infrastructure. No matter how cool our products are, the
customer's experience won't be great unless our applications consistently
deliver. Note that we're bringing Service Engineering together as one group
because these engineers bring expertise that is best applied horizontally.
Leading this organization is David Dibble, who joined Yahoo! in December.
David's team also will be accountable for delivering more effective
corporate IT systems.

Corporate Functions: Blake Jorgensen will be leaving Yahoo! and I am
searching for a new CFO. Blake will remain through a transition with his
successor, and I want to thank Blake for all of his great contributions to
Yahoo! over the past two years. Mike Callahan will continue to lead our
Legal team, and David Windley leads our Human Resources function. Joel
Jones joins the team as my Chief of Staff.

So that's the high-level view. These changes are effective immediately, but
we've got more work to do in filling out the structure of each group. In
the short term, this transition will be challenging for many of our people.
My executive staff will be working with their organizations as quickly as
possible to create further clarity. For example, we'll need to recast
budgets and adjust work areas so we have the right people working
side-by-side.

I want to thank all of you who've shared your ideas and views with me since
I arrived. Several leaders across Yahoo! came together to design this new
structure – I've been very impressed with their dedication to the right
outcomes, particularly how they've embraced the need to eliminate the silos
that have been a drag on this organization for so long.

I think this organizational structure has the potential to solve many of the
issues you've helped me better understand. Of course, new issues will
emerge. But I know we'll be aligned and nimble in tackling them together.

This is a tremendous, proud company with a powerful brand, great products
and a bright future. Now's the time to get more focused than ever on
delighting our users and advertisers. Let's show them how great Yahoo! can
be.

Carol

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<![CDATA[Yahoo purple with rage over lunch price hike]]> Yahoo has spent millions on consulting fees with Bain & Co. to come up with cost-cutting schemes — bold ones like hiking cafeteria prices. A tipster blames President Sue Decker and CFO Blake Jorgensen for upping his lunch bill by three bucks:

I'm not a Valleywag regular but felt compelled to write after Blake & Sue's latest cost-cutting shenanigans.

After filling up my salad box as usual, I head over to the cashier to pay my usual 4.25, a fair price for a smallish-medium salad whose cost is supposedly company subsidised (that's what they told me when I joined a few months ago). Today, however, I had to put my take out box on a scale since Yahoo is charging by weight now. So my 4.25 salad cost me $7.75 (I was an idiot for using the dense ranch dressing). What an excellent way to further kill morale during such trying times at the company. Best of all, Management decided to keep this secret from employees! They could have mentioned it at the all hands but they're spineless bitches who couldn't even take the issue of the cafe head-on.

I never thought a management team could be so stupid to strip away these perks that increase productivity when there are many larger costs that can be cut first. After this, it wouldn't be surprising for them to stop offering coffee or charging for the water. Luckily they're not charging people to use the bathroom as the $.50/flush proposal got nixed at the last board meeting (although the proposal may be revisited at any time).

Anyway, I just needed to rant because I cannot believe a firm would be so stupid to cut back on perks that improve productivity while wasting money on shit like a Halloween party and a bunch of banners touting the greatness of Yahoo around the Sunnyvale campus (and the door props...gimme a break). Not to mention the killer haloween party. And chauferring Sue in from the North Bay each time she comes in. Gosh this place IS as bad as the stuff you read!

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<![CDATA[Valleywag on the airwaves at Yahoo all-hands]]> Why did Yahoo's Gary Gale Twitter about a Wi-Fi network labeled "Valleywag" at Yahoo's quarterly all-hands meeting? If I worked for the New York Times, I'd give you all some blah-blah-blah about how we don't discuss our reporting methods. But I run a gossip rag, so I'll just play coy. We did gather that Yahoo CFO Blake Jorgensen was asked about the company's pending layoffs of 10 percent of the workforce.

Yahoos at the meeting were told that the job cuts would come after Thanksgiving. And the severance? Jorgensen said the company would "do right by Yahoos" — and referred to the legally mandated notice period required by the WARN Act. Translation: Yahoos will get 60 days' severance, because it's the law. Oh, and there's no point in cancelling the holiday parties, because they've already been paid for. After the all-hands, Gale and other Yahoo employees proceeded to an Oktoberfest party.

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<![CDATA[Yahoo's stealth layoffs]]> Is Yahoo laying off 1,500 people? Or 3,500? It all depends on how you define "layoff." A commenter on Silicon Alley Insider has a theory on Yahoo's layoffs, which the company may finally announce in today's earnings call:

They will likely do a public round of layoffs soon, but since they are currently preparing for annual reviews- definitely cutting the bottom 10% who will be left after the layoff... but in addition- they will likely be as harsh as they can and some good people who are not performance problems, but are not the water walkers will feel undervalued and leave due to their review. This will likely get them down by another 1000- 1500 heads by mid year 2009.

What's interesting about this rumor: It fits with what we've heard about Yahoo CFO Blake Jorgensen pushing to slash employees' severance packages. By disguising layoffs as negative reviews, Yahoo management may push employees to leave, sans severance.

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<![CDATA[Yahoo CFO pushing to gut severance packages]]> The latest rumor on Yahoo's upcoming cuts: As many as 1,750 jobs lost. But far worse than the number are Yahoo CFO Blake Jorgensen's plans for the departed. A tipster says Jorgensen is pushing for zero severance pay beyond what's legally required in a mass layoff. Compare that to eBay, which sprang for five months in its latest round of cuts. "Corporate politics — such a dirty game and the average Joe gets the shaft," our tipster writes. "Financially, I don't understand this because the market is going to shit and the Street would be forgiving if Yahoo decided to give the rank and file up to six months or so. Not to mention the people at Yahoo right now stuck with management through all the turmoil, although maybe that makes them too stupid to deserve severance in excess of unemployment checks. However once the political motives come into play it makes much more sense." Political motives?

Zero severance would certainly evaporate any remaining support CEO Jerry Yang has within the company. But our tipster says Sue Decker, a close friend of Jorgensen's who hired him into the company, opposes his severance plans. So what's Jorgensen's game?

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<![CDATA[On the firing line]]> yahoo_david_filo_jerry_yang_sue_decker_blake_jorgensen_all_hands_meeting_2008.jpgYahoos David Filo, Jerry Yang, Sue Decker and Blake Jorgensen watching All Hands, the Movie last week. Suggest your caption in the comments; the best will become the new headline. Yesterday's winner: WagCurious, for "Don't smell evil." (Photo byYodel Anecdotal)

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<![CDATA[Terry Semel lost $6.2 million working for Yahoo in 2007, but Sue Decker made almost $15 million]]> Terry SemelAny Yahoo can tell you that working at the troubled Web giant doesn't pay. But for former CEO Terry Semel, it really didn't. Last year, he made negative $6.2 million, Docu-Drama notes. The accounting oddity, uncovered in an SEC filing, has to do with stock awards he forfeited when he left the company last year. Don't weep for Semel: He still owns half a billion dollars in Yahoo stock, and has sold plenty, too. What shareholders may find more upsetting are the left-and-right raises Yahoo's board handed out to top Yahoo execs in 2007, a year whose horrible performance set up Yahoo for Microsoft's hostile bid. Here are the lowlights:

  • President Sue Decker, who has mostly instigated management upheaval to her Machiavellian advantage, is being paid in the "upper quartile" of comparable executives at Adobe, Apple, eBay, HP, IBM, Microsoft, Motorola, Network Appliance, Oracle, and Time Warner.
  • Raises handed out to Decker, CFO Blake Jorgensen, general counsel Michael Callahan, and top accountant Michael Murray:
    In connection with her promotion to the position of President, Ms. Decker's annual base salary was increased from $500,000 to $815,000, effective July 1, 2007. Mr. Jorgensen's annual base salary was set at $450,000 upon his joining the Company in June 2007. Mr. Callahan's annual base salary was increased effective April 1, 2007 from $325,000 to $360,000, and Mr. Murray's annual base salary was increased effective July 1, 2007 from $340,000 to $360,000. On March 3, 2008, the Compensation Committee increased the 2008 annual base salary levels of Messrs. Jorgensen, Callahan and Murray to $500,000, $420,000, and $375,000, respectively.
  • Decker received 90 percent of her target bonus, or $1.1 million. Jorgensen received the same percentage for a bonus of $405,000, even though he hadn't worked at Yahoo a full year in 2007. (Jorgensen, though not previously CFO of a public company, did have this unique qualfication for his job: He was the best man at Decker's wedding. Decker is now divorcing.)
  • Decker made a total of $14.8 million, including stock-based compensation, in 2007.
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<![CDATA[Yahoo's first-quarter earnings call]]> Jorgensen.jpgWhat's Yahoo CFO Blake Jorgensen so happy about? Try Yahoo's first quarter earnings on for size. Widely expected to surpass Wall Street expectations, Yahoo did not disappoint, reporting $1.35 billion in first quarter revenues after traffic acquisition costs, a 14 percent percent increase over the first quarter 2007. Still, Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer said earlier today that positive earnings would not cause him to raise Microsoft's $31 per share offer for Yahoo. Yahoo CEO Jerry Yang, president Sue Decker and Jorgensen respond in our live coverage of Yahoo's analyst conference call, below.

2:02 Still waiting for our friends CEO Jerry Yang, CFO Blake Jorgensen and president Sue Decker to join us on the call. Meanwhile, I'm wondering if Yang will heed one Yahoo search marketer's call for more integration with Google.

2:04 The gang is all here: Yang, Decker and Jorgensen. First, though, a nice long disclaimer.

2:08 Yang: These results are are the more remarkable considering the economy and Microsoft's proposal. "Our strategy and investments are beginning to pay off." We have the capital we need to substantially grow revenue.

2:10 Yang: Let me talk about Microsoft. Microsoft's proposal substantially undervalues Yahoo and our one-of-a-kind global brand. Our board and management team continue to be open to any and all alternatives, including a sale to Microsoft. Take one thing away: our board and management are committed to maximizing shareholder value.

2:12 Yang goes over highlights from the quarter: We acquired Maven and previewed AMP from Yahoo. (Insiders tell us AMP needs more cash and manpower if it's going to live up to Yang's expectations.)

2:51 Yang says closing the gap in search marketing will depend on Panama. He doesn't mention the Google trial. He says Yahoo's greatest opportunity is in display advertising. The economy's weakness will drive marketers online, he says.

2:54 Question: Asian assets are a big part of Yahoo's value. What are they hypothetical things you could do with them? Yang's answer: We can't talk about our alternatives. We think the position we've achieved in China and Japan are second to none. It won't be able to be recreated in any form. We think of that as a scarcity value. We also think it's a way to provide transparency.

2:15 The call goes to Decker. Decker highlights progress in Q1: Giving users a consistent Yahoo, opening to third-parties and creating social connections. "We're not trying to be another social network."

2:19 Decker: We have a strong number 2 position in search. Last summer, we focused on catching up to the leader. Now we're going for differentiation. Our next advance will be Open Search, which we call search monkey. We'll allow third parties to improve our search. ComScore reports that Yahoo's search relevance rate was 72 percent versus the previous market leader's 69 percent.

2:23 Decker: Yahoo Buzz has 120 publishers already. "With more coming in every week." This model is self-reinforcing. "With our enormous scale this should make us the partner of choice for publishers." Video on Flickr has already quadrupled videos by Yahoo users across the entire Yahoo network.

2:25 Decker: Panama continues to make gains in click-through rates and user-experience. Search revenue was up 20 percent in the US, 15 percent Internationally. We have made progress on click-yield. The price per click upside is still significant. We believe we can make steady improvements. We just launched minimum bid changes, providing smaller business opportunity. The $.10 minimum bid is gone. This will help us achieve our three goal of 15 percent RPS gains.

2:27 Decker on outsourcing to Google: We see tremendous value in being a principle player in search and display. We've narrowed the search monetization gap. There may be more than one way to continue to do that. We've tested Google. That may continue.

2:30 Decker talks about Yahoo AMP: a web-based hosted application. The platform will standardize how operations are handled. We will "begin rolling it out in Q3." This should lead to a "meaningful" boost in revenues. Again, sources tell us AMP needs a lot more cash, hardware and engineering manpower if it's going to meet these expectations.

2:32 Jorgensen takes the call. Spouts numbers. Find them here.

2:34 Jorgensen said Yahoo spent $14 million for advice on how to deal with Microsoft.

2:34 Owned and operated search was up 15 percent. Display was up 16 percent. Finance, travel and retail advertising is down, due to a softening economy. Overall, Yahoo is fine.

2:43 Jorgensen says Yahoo's Q2 outlook ($1,730 - $1,930 million) excludes layoff costs and costs associated with Microsoft's bid.

2:44 The call goes back to Yang. Time for questions.

2:47 Question: What kind of economic outlook did you bake into your outlook? Street estimates expect lower online advertising growth. Answer, from Jorgensen: We believe the plan is based on market growth and Yahoo's growth relative to that.

2:48 Question: We've noticed that TAC is going down as a percentage of revenues. Are you getting better deals? Jorgensen: TAC decreased around 4 percent. There is upward pressure on TAC-rates as competition gets tougher. Competitors are also building out display networks. We're disciplined and you're seeing that.

2:50 Question: How much is Right Media helping remnant advertising? And which segments are weak and why? Decker's answer: We call remnant class 2 or non-guaranteed advertising. We are seeing significant growth in class 2. Revenues are close to doubling. Jorgensen: Some of the stronger categories in search are also strong in display.

2:51 Question: Owned and operated search is up. You just removed the minimum bid. Correlated? Decker's answers: Panama was up only 10 percent year-over-year this quarter because we're competing against Panama's first quarter now.

2:56 Question: How well will AMP work with other ad networks? Would it still work if you're using Google search marketing? Decker's answer: It's build on the RIght Media exchange, so any network in that exchange would work with it. As for the second question: AMP is a primarily a display advertising platform. It also involves content-matching advertising, which is sometimes considered search advertising. Over time, search will be integrated fully into AMP.

2:58 Question: International growth was up 7 percent. Was there a one-time event to drive this? And how much did Microsoft impact growth? Jorgensen's answer to the first question: There was not a one-time event. There's just more pressure on affiliates. Yang answers the second: I think our business performed robustly. We're keeping an eye on the ball. It's hard to say any impact at all. We ended up ahead of where we thought we would be.

3:00 Question: Please tell us more about the weak advertising categories. Decker's answer: We think the economic downturn makes online advertising more attractive.

3:03 Question: Do you think you're gaining ground on search monetization? And why is your year-long guidance higher? Decker's answer: We thought the gap was close to 100 percent when we launched Panama. In US sponsored search, we feel that we've narrowed the gap by 30 percent. There's 60 to 30 percent remaining. Jorgensen answers the second: We are seeing cost-savings.

3:05 Question: The focus seems to be on monetizing the ad inventory you already have. What are you doing to grow your inventory? Yang's answer: We need both inventory and better monetization. There's a higher focus on monetization because it's a very nascent stage. But we continue to invest in inventory on and off the network. We've seen robust growth in pageviews. Bye.

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<![CDATA[Yahoo will make its numbers by hook or by, well, you know]]> CooktheBook.jpgYahoo reports first-quarter earnings later today. Everyone agrees CEO Jerry Yang has to report better-than-expected numbers if Yahoo hopes to continue fighting for its independence from Microsoft. So guess what? Yahoo is going to report better-than-expected numbers. "In any Internet business, you can pull the stops out in any one or two quarters," Jeffrey Lindsay, an Internet analyst at Sanford C. Bernstein, told the WSJ. "They'd be very crazy not to." If he's getting pressure from Yang, here are three ways for CFO Blake Jorgensen could cook the books for today's report and keep his sanity:

  1. Public companies must disclose how much tax they expect to pay. Yahoo could project a lower tax rate than they actually expect, lowering costs and increasing profits. This gimmick shows up in the filings, but most investors won't bother to ask questions if Yahoo's shares go up. The bearish reality behind Google's big first-quarter numbers aren't slowing down the rise of its shares.
  2. Delaying expenses. (Any Yahoos had travel denied? Drop us a line and let us know the details.)
  3. Rejiggering ads to generate more revenue per page. Google is a master at this, but Yahoo may be slowly learning some of its tricks.(Photo by cogdogblog)
  4. Relaxing on click fraud. Yahoo claims to be deeply concerned with erroneous clicks on advertisers' ads. But if a little more cash keeps the company independent, maybe the company's automated filters can be dialed down for a month or so.
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<![CDATA[Why is Yahoo cofounder David Filo getting hit by a ball? Faceball, that's why!]]> DavidFiloFaceball.jpgLet Google and Facebook play ultimate frisbee. Yahoos like balls, and they like them in the face. Their game is called Faceball. How it works: Two players sit in chairs ten feet apart and take turns throwing inflated beach balls at each other's faces. One point per facial, and no ducking. This goes on for five rounds. John Allspaw and Dunstan Orchard developed Faceball in April 2007 and ever since, Yahoos — from CEO Jerry Yang on down — have loved it. When it came time to plan the launch of Flickr Video, there was little debate as to what to do. A Faceball tournament was held on April 9, 2008. In the picture above is your winner, cofounder David Filo. Below, a video (on Vimeo, not Flickr, oddly) from Faceball creators Allspaw and Orchard describing their game, as well as more photos (on Flickr) from the tournament.

Skip to 2:30 for a startling confession from Orchard. At 6:00, Allspaw explains why Googlers might not have the proper equipment to play.

CEO Jerry Yang gets a ball to the face.
FaceballCEO.jpg

CFO Blake Jorgensen waits patiently for the blow.
FaceballCFO.jpg

Network Division chief Jeff Weiner can take your balls like a man.
JeffWeiner.jpg

(Photos by Yodel Anecdotal)

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<![CDATA[Yahoo CFO announces faux partnership with Google]]> After Valleywag reported that Yahoo would shut off its shuttle bus service Yahoo CFO Blake Jorgensen allegedly told employees "Don't believe everything you read in Valleywag, but yes, we are cutting off the shuttles." Hiring managers have since told new recruits the buses are here to stay. In an April Fools' stunt, Jorgensen outlined a new plan for getting Yahoos to work. Check out the clip: It's something to do with Google and "locking arms with colleagues to appear larger to oncoming traffic." If only Jorgensen were as creative in coming up plans to win over Wall Street.

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<![CDATA[Yahoo CFO announces unsolicited bid for affection from colleagues]]> Why do corporations and executives participate in April Fools' pranks? To make them seem human, for at least one day. Here's the suddenly likable Yahoo CFO Blake Jorgensen showing how well that can work. Fresh from laying off hundreds of their colleagues, he announces to employees that this morning Yahoo made an unsolicited takeover bid for a gossip website. After the jump, the internal announcement posted on Yahoo's Backyard intranet, leaked like just about every other memo posted there:

Silicon Valley gossip site to become part of Yahoo!'s starting point strategy.

Yahoo! today announced it will make an unsolicited takeover bid to purchase Valleywag, the Silicon Valley technology gossip site, as part of a push to increase "starting points" for consumers.

"Though I, personally, haven't always seen eye to eye with its editors," said Blake Jorgensen, CFO of Yahoo!, in a message to employees," we are well aware of how many people start their online experience with Valleywag and hope that as part of the Yahoo! family, we can all just get a long."

Often called "Yahoowag" for its constant coverage of Yahoo! gossip, no matter how minor or incorrect, the pairing of the two is expected to be immediately accretive to Yahoo!'s earnings - especially when considering Valleywag's daily readership that some estimate in the "hundreds."

Terms of the deal were not disclosed. No reaction to the offer has been heard from Valleywag editors who, for once, have been strangely silent.

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<![CDATA[Yahoo CFO will not address gathered throngs today]]> BlakeJorgensen.jpgYahoo CFO Blake Jorgensen will not be speaking at the Thomas Weisel Partners investor conference today in San Francisco. Embarrassing for both, since Jorgensen is a cofounder of the tech investment bank. Go ahead, show up to hear Jorgensen speak anyway. You can't believe everything you read on Valleywag.

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<![CDATA[Yahoo CFO: Don't believe everything you read in Valleywag (except for the true bits)]]> Blake outlookHow low has the credibility of Yahoo's management sunk? Here's a tale that recently reached our ears: An employee reportedly asked CFO Blake Jorgensen at a recent meeting about the rumor that Yahoo would soon ax its shuttle buses. "Don't believe everything you read in Valleywag," Jorgensen is said to have replied. "But yes, we are cutting off the shuttles." This from the same crew that didn't anticipate Microsoft's unsolicited bid.

The score stands Valleywag 1, Yahoo management 0. Yahoo employees, consider Valleywag an upgraded, open version of your Backyard intranet. New features in this release include truth and honesty. And best of all, much of the content is user-generated.

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<![CDATA[Who's in, who's out at Yahoo after a Microsoft takeover]]> This morning, Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer made the usual polite noises about "integrating" Yahoo's management into Microsoft. The reality? Come on. They're all fired, except for the geeks. If Microsoft had any respect for current management, they would have negotiated a friendly deal instead of launching a takeover. Most of the executive suite will be gone, I bet, within six months if the takeover succeeds. Here are the details on who's in and who's out, starting at the top.

Top management

Jerry Yang, CEO He'll be a large Microsoft shareholder after the deal goes through, so it's likely he'll get a board seat. And perhaps he'll get to keep the "Chief Yahoo" title.

David Filo, cofounder Might be named a Microsoft Fellow, working in datacenter operations — as he prefers.

Sue Decker, President Gone. There's no position Microsoft can give her that will suit her ambitions. Not to mention the hash she's made of things at Yahoo.

Blake Jorgensen. CFO Gone. Microsoft doesn't need another CFO, and he's a close Decker ally.

Ari Balogh, CTO Bad timing: Balogh just left VeriSign for Yahoo this week. If he'll settle for a title below CTO, Microsoft might grudgingly make room for him.

The rest of the bunch

Marco Boerries, EVP, Connected Life Gone. He's widely disliked within Yahoo, and Microsoft already has plenty of mobile dealmakers.

Michael Callahan, General Counsel Gone. First, we fire all the lawyers.

Gregory Coleman, EVP, Global Sales Already announced his "retirement." Even more gone than he already was.

Usama Fayyad, Chief Data Officer A keeper. Microsoft needs better data analysis.

Qi Lu, EVP, Engineering Search A keeper.

Michael Murray, Chief Accounting Officer Gone.

Jill Nash, Chief Communications Officer Could stay. Microsoft desperately needs better PR in the Valley.

Ash Patel, EVP, Platforms and Infrastructure Division Gone. He's already checked out, insiders say, but it will take a takeout to dislodge him from his desk.

Libby Sartain, Chief People Yahoo Already rumored to be out.

Hilary Schneider, EVP, Global Partner Solutions Could stay, though she's a Decker ally. Microsoft lacks credibility with newspapers, Schneider's strong suit.

Jeff Weiner, EVP, Network Division Gone. Weiner, a Semel guy, has managed to hold onto his job against the odds. But he's not respected in Redmond.

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<![CDATA[Sue Decker loses a lieutenant]]> Mark RubashRachel GlaserWe hear that Mark Rubash, left, a Yahoo finance executive hired by Yahoo president Sue Decker in February, is already leaving the company. Rubash, a favorite of Decker, was apparently the loser in a turf war with fellow finance executive Rachel Glaser, pictured here to his right.. We can't help but wonder if Glaser, a commuter from Los Angeles who's widely disliked on the Sunnyvale campus, will last much longer, as Yahoo undergoes a top-to-bottom reorganization. "She has no financial acumen," whispers one tipster — a fact that, if true, can't be lost on Decker and her recently hired ally, CFO Blake Jorgensen. Update: Rubash says he was offered a job over Glaser's head, but turned it down.

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