Gawker: valleywag, blind item

Washed-up Hollywood star going to wrong parties

Owen Thomas — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 18:00:00 EDT

Blind items are the gossip world's equivalent of the mathematical puzzles that keep engineers entertained. Try your hand! They're easier than a Rubik's Cube. CNET News reporter Caroline McCarthy has posed the following one:

Which well-educated Hollywood C-lister has gotten quite the reputation for chasing tail at media and dot-com parties on both coasts in addition to the usual entertainment industry circuit? This has been going on for a while, but it’s only recently begun to turn him into a punchline. And trust me, this fellow should know already that you don’t want to be a punchline among people who write them for a living. Not to mention the fact that gossip about his left-of-center bedroom interests is starting to get out.

Show off your algorithms in the comments. Include this curiosity: Why would a supposedly "well-educated" actor try to pick up women at tech parties?

Which SF politico needs to study American history?

Megan McCarthy — Tue, 13 Nov 2007 16:33:00 EST

Council member: I heard you need my John Doe on something.
Clerk: I need your signature on some documents.
Council member: Yeah, my John Doe.
Clerk, laughing: You mean your John Hancock — John Doe is an anonymous dead body. [Council member looks puzzled.] John Hancock has the biggest signature on the Declaration of Independence — that's where the term comes from.
Council member: Oh.
City Hall
San Francisco, California

This exchange was posted today on Overheard in the Office, a once-clever repository of quips and comebacks which has transformed into a vault of urban legends forwarded by people still using AOL. Still, this "council member" piqued our curiosity. We suspect the submitter meant our city's Board of Supervisors. So which San Francisco supervisor mixed up his or her Hancocks and Does? Well, in order to answer that, you'll need to know who the hell these people are. Here's a primer:

There are eleven members of the Board of Supervisors. It includes three women, three guys with unfortunate facial hair, one guy who looks like a network TV anchorman, and one bald fat fellow. No longer included is former supervisor Ed Jew (who, by the way, is Asian, and not, to my knowledge, Jewish), elected to represent the Sunset district while, a pending case alleges, he was secretly living in Burlingame, a suburb near the airport. None of these people, to my knowledge, had an affair with god-mayor Gavin Newsom while married to his campaign manager.

Other than that? Not much to write home about. They're San Francisco supervisors. The only thing they've done that has influenced tech is kill the citywide Wi-Fi deal. For my money, any of these boneheads could be the culprit. Why does the smartest city on the planet have the dumbest people running it?

CEO pisses on own grave

Tim Faulkner — Mon, 29 Oct 2007 16:21:59 EDT

This is the craziest thing we've heard in a while. And we at Valleywag hear some crazy things. Which Silicon Valley founder was ousted as CEO after an incident where he stumbled into work blind drunk, unbuckled, and peed on the carpet? What makes this tip more outrageous is the claim that he probably would have gotten away with a slap on the wrist, if not for the presence of a visitor. Specifically, a less-than-amused female marketer from Intel, there to talk ad sponsorships. That slipup provided the board with the excuse it needed to oust him. Any guesses who it was?

Google's adulterer supervision

Owen Thomas — Wed, 22 Aug 2007 15:04:06 EDT

CEO Eric Schmidt, in carrying on with women he's not married to, has apparently set the tone for the rest of the Google C-suite. We hear that another top executive, although he has a stunningly beautiful wife, is seeing another Google employee on the side, putting his marriage in jeopardy. Anyone care to venture a guess who it is? Leave a comment or send in a tip.

Blind Item: Microsoft's New Security Bitch

confonz — Fri, 04 May 2007 13:24:28 EDT

CONFONZ — Ah, yes. the age old topic of security at Microsoft. Two great tastes that just don't seem to have ever made it into the same sandwich. With old MS demanding attention for its reinvigorated security efforts in Vista, you'd think they're have hired the right people to lock that sucker down. But as it turns out, this little lady, who remains safely hidden beneath the veil of secrecy we call the Blind Item, is a sure fire loser with a cheating past and a complete lack of skills. According to the buzz around her credentials, the only reason this hidden lass became so well known at Symantec before MS poached her is because she had help crafting exploits from someone very close to her. Too bad she decided to cheat on him, because when MS asks her to perform, she'll have no one to do her work for her!

Hey, they're talking about Darth-boy!

ndouglas — Tue, 04 Apr 2006 19:51:55 EDT

I think they call these "virals" or something. CMP Media has been running a lo-fi news show (called "The News Show") since last August, covering business news (which is really tech news when you back up a bit). This week they started a feature, "Who am I?" To spare you five minutes of cheaply produced video, here's a transcript:

I'm a blues man, born and bred in Chicago, the city of big shoulders. I went to college in Chi-town but never graduated.
My software baby was conceived by someone else, but ushered into the marketplace by me. I worked for the CIA, where a prophetic voice spoke to me and gave my vision a name.
I pushed harder and harder, until I almost pushed my company off a cliff. I was bailed out by the Japanese, which may explain why I have a Japanese house in America and an American house in Japan.
I'm a software soldier, a sailor and aviator. I take no quarter and ask for none. I'm a big spender, a never-ender, a market of one. I'm the bull of the software industry. Who am I?

Right, that should be easy for this crowd. (Granted, he didn't technically work for the CIA.)

For the price of a free signup, The News Show will enter correct guesses in a contest for a free iPod or Thinkpad.

Who am I? [The News Show]

Blind item: Big-time VC head accused of wife-beating

ndouglas — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 14:49:46 EST

Heavy stuff from Private Equity Week Wire, where writer Dan Primack carries a blind item (not on the site yet) about a Valley VC head accused of beating his wife:

The head of a brand-name Silicon Valley VC firm last month was arrested at his office, handcuffed and marched out past his colleagues. He then was arraigned on three misdemeanor charges of domestic assault against his (soon to be ex-) wife, pled not guilty to each count, posted $35,000 bail, received a restraining order and was told to be back in court next week.

The business-analyst-turned-gossipmonger spends five paragraphs telling readers why he won't reveal the name. (No prob, Dan. You knew that feeding this chum to the sharks would send everyone guessing names — whether or not this disturbing story is real.)

Updated link: Private Equity Week [Thomson]

CES Vegas ass-grabber

ndouglas — Wed, 08 Feb 2006 15:43:08 EST

Blind item: What music company exec got a little too tipsy at CES Vegas? Maybe this man thought he'd wandered into a party for the nearby AVN conference — or maybe "what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas" was an unwise motto.

So, I'm in Vegas for CES watching a bunch of self described music execs party at The Wynn and this guy is out of control drunk. He actually not only grabbed the breasts of some random women in the group as he walked past her, which was definitely NOT well received, but was actually overheard saying "you know, I never realized what an asset you were to the company" to another women in the group he was with as he ran his hand down her ass. All the while he's bragging about how he just got his second round of funding for his music company.

Guesses, of course, go in the comments.