Now those of us who wear sweaters and wish we could read only by candlelight will be able to annoy our friends even more trying to pretend we know something about the red grape juice we're drinking and that's making me talk too damn much again and somebody just kicked me under the table. In related dinner party fodder news, Amazon plans to sell the biographies of first ladies-in-waiting Cindy McCain and Michelle Obama on the its e-reader the Kindle before they're sold in hard-copy anywhere else. Which makes sense, if only because there's not enough time to rush out these opportunistic political potboilers in paper form. (Photo by paul goyette)

In fact, it is a scam. I'm not saying wine is totally useless and that no one likes it ... but I am saying that the great majority of people that like wine, like it because so many other people around them like wine. In this case, the Emperor might have some cloths, but it ain't more than a speedo and some sandals.

Gawker Media polls require Javascript; if you're viewing this in an RSS reader, click through to view in your Javascript-enabled web browser.

Remember, don't drink and drive. Drink and get a ride with the first PR cutie you find.

• The Big Flip You sold for $30 million! Take some of your $2 million cut and buy a round for everyone. Ingredients: 1 oz Absolut Mandrin, juice of 1/2 lime, 1/2 oz Triple Sec, 1/4 cup fruit punch
• The Bubble 2007 is the Year of the Pig. That's you, baby. Hey, pigs are intelligent animals. Ingredients: Champagne and Sterno. Add bitters.
• The Flack This one goes out to my pal Steve Kerns at Thursty Thursdays, the weekly roving PR drinkfest in San Francisco. It's the weekend starter for anyone tired of press releases and gladhanding — drink up, 'cause there's an industry mixer on Saturday. Ingredients: Blue Skyy vodka, Chartreuse, mint, more vodka, just the tiniest hint of bitters
• The Hack For the journalist who's just met deadline, snared a book deal, or met the Flack Ingredients: Same as the Flack, but exactly twice each proportion. Leave the check with the Flack.
• The Stirr Looks boozy, but it'll only make you more alert as you cruise your more sauced-up colleagues at an industry mixer. Ingredients: Coffee and whipped foam — it's an Irish coffee without the Irish
• The Series A Round The opposite of a Stirr. Frankly, this is an investor roofie, and it'll take plenty of work for poor little you to buy an investor a drink. You can only drink half of it before going back for a Round B. Ingredients: Soju and a splash of Sprite. If the mark complains, subtly imply he or she is a sissy. Unless you're just a guy in a stripey trying to get a chick drunk on Friday, in which case be liberal with the Sprite, dude. You've got all night.
• The Business Lunch There are places we drink during lunch. Those places are mostly on the East Coast. Ingredients: Martinelli's
• The C-level A chief executive deserves the favorite whisky of writer Robert Louis Stevenson. Ingredients: Talisker, neat.
• The Yahoo Oh hell, just throw everything you've got at the problem and maybe it'll work. Ingredients: Rum, vodka, Kahlua, Coke, gin, Yoohoo, peanut butter
• The Sysadmin An all-nighter for those rare all-night server-rescuing sessions. Ingredients: Costco Vodka; Bawls Guarana from the free case you got at LISA
• The Code Monkey Ingredients: Costco Tequila, Coke (not chilled).*

  *Also, this drink interestingly has exactly 40mg of ketamine in it, which is actually ok if you take a B12 booster shot six to twelve hours ahead of time and remembered to synchronize your Perforce archive before FUCK! FUCK FUCK FUCK! THE PERFORCE ARCHIVE!

This is an installation of Diggbait, a daily column by Nick Douglas, who also writes for Eat the Press. He likes robots, words, and White Russians. Photo by Fred Armitage.

By Megan McCarthy

It sounds like Yelp meets MySpace — or an online version of "Cheers."

There are three motivations behind social interaction: Proximity, shared interests, and shared activity. Two fans of the same bar or restaurant presumably have proximity, and visiting the venue is the shared activity, and if it's a bar with character — the hippie feel of San Francisco's Noc Noc lounge, the rocking jukebox at LA's Tiny's K.O. bar, the lunch-time media crowd in New York City's Michael's — the clientele share an interest or two.

While the site has been slow to launch — it went into private testing back in May — corporate profiler VentureBeat says that MingleNow is ready to go with a 900,000-venue list and a social calendar that's embeddable on other sites. If the site uses universal event formats to play nice with sites like Upcoming and Yahoo Calendar, it has the potential to help users actually meet and interact — or at least reminisce about the last booze-soaked Saturday night.

MingleNow launches new bar/restaurant social networking site [VentureBeat]

With contributions from Megan McCarthy

By the way, the sender is PR god Sean Garrett, not the other Sean Garrett, creator of such lyrics as "Conversation got heavy, she had me feelin like she's ready to blow!"

————— From: Sean Garrett Sent: Monday, July 17, 2006 1:44 PM Cc: rsvpto463@gmail.com Subject: 463 Communications party next Tuesday night

When George Clooney drank that shot of Fernet off of Condoleeza Rice's stomach, we knew we had to bring the 463 Communications Happy Hour from Washington, DC to our other home of San Francisco.

More than the antics of VIPs and world leaders, you can look forward to a party that has nothing to do with a widgets, tags and mash-ups. You only may need to endure chatter about net neutrality, H-1B Visas, and, our favorite, the analog hole.

So please join the entire 463 gang in a celebration of all-things-tech-policy-geeky as we thank our clients, partners and friends for giving so much work that we're just getting around to having our first Bay Area bash.

Deets are below.

The Details:

Tuesday, July 25
6:30 p.m. — 9:00 p.m.
The Gallery Lounge
510 Brannan Street (Cross 5th Street)
(http://maps.google.com/maps?oi=map&q=510+Brannan+Street,+San+Francisco)

RSVPs Requested: RSVPto463@gmail.com

Free Drinks. Heavy hors d'oeuvres. Good Music.

It will be just like being in DC, but without the sticky weather, bad ties and interns.

Hope to see you there.

Oh, what? This isn't a conference about the most underused piece of punctuation in the western language paradigm? Well; that would explain all of these silicon wafers and robot arms. SemiCon; eh? That's what this badge says.

The old Fonzie is bleary-eyed and tired, and his old glazzies are having trouble reading these damn press releases. Oh; here's an interesting one with some sort of rubber tube taped to the inside of the binder!

And what's this? No after parties? No official after parties anyway. There's nothing listed inside of the schedule, so it looks like the old Fonz will have to head over to Dave's afterwards and....

Wait a minute. What's that; over there behind the sleek white Korean wafer mover. Why,it's a bar! And look, over there! Taps! Sweet Jebus, there's another! And a wine bar over there too! Well then, things are looking up!

This massive show floor has a high suit content, but it sure does dish up the free booze, and at 10 AM, no less! Finally, a conference that lives up to the Fonzie's expectations; Ayyyyyyyyyyye!

Classic ConFonz: ConFonz at the IEEE Microwave Thingie at the Moscone [Valleywag]

Friday Night
Two googletards meet for Battlestar Galactica marathon on UPN but end up calculating their worth as the weekend stock price hovers around $415; after two epicurean Mike's Hard Lemonades, a message is sent to an internal developer list with an idea for (a) Google Base or (b) an old Yahoo/Microsoft product with a new AJAX interface.

Saturday Night/Sunday Morning
Senior VP Marissa Mayer returns to her email client from a night of weeping in front of a vanity mirror, costumed in lingerie and stilettos no one knows she owns; realizes (a) Google Base or (b) an old Yahoo/Microsoft product with a new AJAX interface is exactly what the company needs.

Monday Morning
CEO Eric Schmidt receives idea at a weekly staff meeting; pretends to understand it; in a halfhearted attempt to save face, makes offhand remark about how processors are much faster than when he was in grad school at Berkeley.

Two Weeks Later
Upstart, 20-something business development and/or marketing Googlies learn about it at the Googleplex cafeteria; confuse it with a competitor for Oracle's database solution and/or a product that will take down Boeing. Spread it casually at Marina bars to all their other dotcom friends.

45 Days Later
Om Malik receives phone call; does investigation; dispells rumors that an aircraft is involved but still poses question: is this an Ebay-Killer??

46 Days Later
Michael Arrington publishes "exclusive" screenshots on TechCrunch; says it lacks features which his Web 2.0 company Edgeio has; provides an irrelevant recommendation for Zooomr or Skobee.

47 Days Later
Zawodny blogs; laments that Yahoo had this idea in 1999; considers quitting; instead posts excel spread sheets cataloging (a) his weight loss (b) his Cessna's mileage.

48 Days Later
Chaos ensues at Microsoft, Yahoo, and/or Ebay; Fox buys Myspace anyway; Steve Ballmer throws a chair.

49 Days Later
John Battelle's intern discovers rumor, "breaks" story; Schmidt denies rumors to the New York Times; says Google is not out to displace any other company.

2 Months Later
Google blog announces a product which will displace some other company; Google engineers realize this is actually (a) Google Base or (b) an old Yahoo/Microsoft product with a new AJAX interface. Lose heart; but add it to their del.icio.us pages anyway.

2 Months and 1 week Later
Wall Street clods doubt Google after much inquiry; stock drops to $385; panic at the plex.

2 Months and 2 weeks later
Mayer holds damage control press event; research director Peter Norvig shows pictures of caseless servers last used in 1999; claims computers without cases are much more efficient; "70/20/10" is bandied about along with shrimp cocktail.

2 Months and 3 weeks later
CFO Reyes figures out math to make Google meet quarterly expectations; considers the follical implant surgery but in a late, lonely night at the office, rediscovers appreciation for the Jean Luc-Picard look.

3 months later
The math works; on a Friday the stock balloons to $415 in after hours; coincindentally, two googletards meet for another Battlestar Galactica marathon on UPN...

Valleywag's first SloshCon at the House of Shields was so successful that my hangover's having baby hangovers. Remember the live-audience interviews and speeches on the game plan? Scrapped. We didn't want to ruin the vibe (half the crowd had arrived in the first 20 minutes), so we all kept on drinking and bullshitting one-on-one. (Top photo by Jeremiah Owyang)

Tag your Flickr'd party photos with "SloshCon" — just like the Mopping Up post says.

Irina Slutsky, host of Geek Entertainment TV, and Amber MacArthur, host of commandN and Call For Help — 66% of the blond vlogosphere. [Irina Slutsky]

Irina was overheard telling GETV producer Eddie Codel, "You need to feed me or videotape me, right now!" And who wouldn't gladly do both?

"So your claims to fame are a snarky site called Fucked Company, a nearly fucked company called AdBrite, and recording yourself in various costumes and, most disturbingly of all, your undressed body? And she is willing to date you?" Pud: "Yes." "Oh my God you're my hero." [Adam Engelhart]

A bewildered Jeff Veen points in bewilderment as TechCrunch's Michael Arrington and I (the tiny one) re-enact a favorite Arrington pose. [Brian Oberkirch]

Arrington says he made the first shocker when Tara Hunt went around at a party, telling everyone to do it. At the time he had no idea what the gesture meant. (Sure, Michael, sure.)

A friend of Jeff, by the way, greeted me with "So you're the one who almost fucked up Jeff's Measure Map deal?" (Yes. Yes I am.)

Famous awesome people who showed: Philip "Pud" Kaplan (a Valleywag favorite this week), TV star Amber MacArthur, Jon Grubb and Thor Muller (the Lennon and McCartney of Rubyred Labs), and Michael Arrington (Web 2.0's war correspondent)

Famous less awesome people who must have had a sudden emergency, like, their entire hometown just blew up: Digg founder Kevin Rose

See more of these webstars! Click past the jump!

Rubyred Labs and Valleyschwag co-founder Jonathan Grubb tastes like magic ice cream. [Adam Engelhart]

"Aaaaaah Pud, that's the best man-boy-love joke ever!" [Adam Engelhart]

Technorati principal engineer Kevin Marks and fresh Google hire Catspaw stare into the laptop photobooth of a fellow #joiito IRC chatter (that's at irc.freenode.net), Other Maciej, who has a whole gallery of liberally applied Photoshop effects from the party. [Other Maciej]

Best thing about geek parties is, if you're bored, you can just find a laptop and surf some animal porn. [Adam Engelhart

We had a webcast and a backchannel chat up in honor of the sober vicarious party-goers living in the middle of nowhere (read: not in the Valley). [Adam Engelhart]

Valleywag does Top Gun: "Too close for shots, I'm switching to beer." [Jeremiah Owyang]

That smile says "I don't know they're winding up for a Roxbury hip slam." [Adam Engelhart

Thanks for hanging out, Silicon Valley! Come back in the fall for "SloshCon 2: The Disappointingly Boring But More Productive Sequel!"

Flickr Galleries:
Other Maciej [Flickr]
Jeremiah Owyang [Flickr]
Adam Engelhart [Flickr]

Tech Innovator: "I'm starting a game. You take a drink every time you see a PR person." Tech Journalist: "No, thanks. I already played that game for five years."

Yes, the Web Infinity Plus One SloshCon at the House of Shields went swimmingly — after doing two shots straight away, we cancelled all the events.

Valleywag's gonna go drink some water and cradle his head for a while, so sit tight, and stay tuned for photos and a ConFonz review.

Earlier: Web Infinity Plus One SloshCon: The final warning [Valleywag]

No joke, we're holding a Web Infinity Plus One Conference at the House of Shields a week from today! The top room's reserved and the sponsors are ponying up for the bar tab. The deets:

• Where: San Francisco bar House of Shields
• When: Thursday, 8 June, 9ish PM
• What: Live GETV interview by Irina Slutsky; impromptu drunk speeches; OPEN BAR
• Why: To make a paper trail so Valleywag can pull an O'Reilly.
• $100 Sponsors: Automattic; Mena Trott of Six Apart; STIRR Network; Gawker Media ($250)

Oh boy there's more! Watch Valleywag every day til then for updates on the Best Night This Side of the Singularity!

Web Infinity Plus One: The SloshCon [RSVP on Upcoming.org]
HoS photo: Web 1.0 Summit [Scott Beale on Flickr]

• Thursday night: The bigshots and crackpots of consumer tech journalism wish Register journalist Andrew Orlowski a warm goodbye at the Edinburgh Castle Pub. Mosey up to the NYT's John Markoff and order Mac fanboy-baiter John C. Dvorak a drink — when he's really drunk, Dvorak gets totally coherent. [Dvorak.org/Orlowski]
• Thursday night: Attendees at tonight's wine tasting in Redwood City include Brad the LiveJournal founder, Hugh the business card cartoonist, and Niniane the Google blogger. I'm cancelling (gotta wish Orlowski goodbye, right?), so e-mail Kai Chang to try for my spot on the guest list. [Evite]
• Friday through Sunday: As previously pimped here, it's Winecamp! Register for 60 bucks, and that's just to pay for the food. The business plan: After the crowd gets drunk on free wine, organizer Chris Messina converts everyone to Scientology. [Winecamp]

• Tuesday afternoon: Come to Mountain View for martinis at the third Two Martini Tuesday. [Upcoming]
• Tuesday night: Then hit San Jose for beer at Tony Soprano's Pizzeria in San Jose. It's a Geek Dinner featuring bloggers, podcasters, and their fans. [Upcoming]
• Thursday: More beer and pizza at Lanesplitter's for the Berkeley Tribe member meetup. (Only 97 days until Burning Man, guys!) [Upcoming]
• Friday to Sunday: This weekend, get out your corkscrew for all the vino flowing at Wine Camp. The whole Web 2.0 gang — Tara Hunt of Riya, developers from Technorati and Rubyred Labs, blogger Susan Mernit will be supping some very fancy Kool-Aid at this BarCamp spinoff. [Upcoming]