Gawker: valleywag, chadrick baker

Chadrick loves looking for work (also: new Valleywag mascot needed!)

Melissa Gira Grant — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 15:00:00 EDT

Chadrick, Chadrick, Chadrick. Most of all, we loved saying his name. Chadrick Baker, the virtual-worlds enthusiast Valleywag plucked from obscurity to be our mascot, has been fired from his day job. We think. He should have known better than to bite the digitally furry hand that feeds him. After Chadwick called a competitor — we're not sure, we don't follow the fancy 3D game worlds he runs in — a "hack" in a barely read interview, his CEO, Peter Haik, had to step in and disown Baker's comments. After Haik emailed the company Baker dissed and said he couldn't be sorry enough for what had been said, we hear he took all his apologies one step further and let Baker go.

Not that anyone at Baker's maybe-former employer Metaversatility will confirm that. I wondered why they even bothered to let me get past the GrandCentral answering service prompts if the fellow who picked up was going to flatly answer "No comment" to every question I asked. Why not just have a bot handle the media calls? Especially after this last round of press. Not that it matters: Baker's own LinkedIn profile shows he's no longer employed by the incomprehensible company he couldn't resist pitching us.

Not to rub it in, Chadrick, but we've got some more bad news for you.

Your Valleywag mascot duties? You've just not been up to snuff for ages. We were hoping for Scoble-level pageviews from you. While we are still in search for a successor, we've relieved you of your post immediately. Readers, your nominations are welcome in the comments.

Chadrick worships at the Church of Google

Jackson West — Thu, 29 May 2008 17:00:00 EDT

Metaversality's Chadrick Baker, our adorably optimistic mascot, intends to become a minister in the Church of Google, a new organization for worshippers of the almighty algorithm. Commandments not issued from on high in Mountain View include "Thou shalt not build thy own commercial-free Search Engine, for I am a jealous Engine, bringing law suits and plagues against the fathers of the children unto the third and fourth generations," and "Thou shalt not manipulate Search Results. Search Engine Optimization is but the work of Microsoft." And praying to your new god is as simple as a search query.

Followers have even posted nine proofs of Google's godliness, thought I'm not sure it would pass a test of logical consistency. The prayers are kinda funny, but the hate mail is rather disappointing — the true believers are probably still busy sending emails to the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. I, for one, am unshaken in my belief in the Invisible Pink Unicorn, blessed be her holy hooves.

Chadrick loves Diana, and the feeling is mutual

Owen Thomas — Tue, 13 May 2008 19:00:00 EDT

The act that first brought Chadrick Baker, virtual-worlds advocate and lover of love, to our attention was his declaration of romantic fealty to four Valley foxes. Bad news for Sarah Meyers, Amanda Lorenzani, and Sarah Lacy: Baker has found his feelings for Ask.com art director Diana Furka requited. Before declaring their feelings, the two pursued a platonic paternship on a website, Oddistry.com. Good luck, you crazy kids! As for the rest of you, can you think of a better caption for mascot and mate? Suggest one in the comments, and it will become the new headline. Yesterday's winner: "You mean this isn't the Facebook prom?" by dannyisme.

Valleywag mascot touts computerized beaver at Maker Faire

Owen Thomas — Thu, 08 May 2008 19:40:00 EDT

Chadrick Baker, Valleywag's mascot, has been suspiciously silent lately. I'd just started to worry that he'd disappeared into a virtual world once and for all when he popped up to let me know he and Ask.com's Diana Furka had posted a new video on Oddistry.com. Thank goodness! Learn about the compubeaver and the emerging popularity of "steampunk" in this episode. Check out the end, where Furka touts her employer's search engine. As a marketing strategy, it makes slightly more sense than trying to find Jesus.

YouTube's complicity in marketing booze to kids exposed by Valleywag mascot

Jackson West — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 16:40:00 EDT

You'd think that after all that time he spent at Linden Lab as the worst nightmare of virtual pedophiles in Second Life, Valleywag mascot Chadrick Baker would know to think of the children. By embedding a Heineken commercial on his blog, Baker may innocently believe he was just acknowledging a friend's creativity, but no — he's unwittingly aiding multinational alcohol purveyors in their efforts to stamp booze brands in young minds early and often.

Thanks to YouTube, Heineken can distribute propaganda for the most homeotoxic of popularly abused euphoric psychoactives faster, cheaper and farther than ever. Yet the prudish overlords in Mountain View restrict nipple-viewing to adults, suggesting they'd rather have kids learn to suckle on a bottle of beer than on the body's nubbly and deliciously ticklish treats.

Chadrick loves crowdsourcing his new look

Owen Thomas — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 18:40:00 EDT

Can you help Chadrick Baker, the Metaversatility biz-dev guy who recently became Valleywag's new mascot? He's shaved off the beard in this four-year-old profile pic, but hasn't settled on an icon that best captures his new, fresh-faced look. Chadrick has asked for suggestions on his blog, but we think Valleywag readers can best help him. Vote in our poll for your favorite window on Chadrick's soul:

Chadrick loves speaking to nobody

Owen Thomas — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 19:00:00 EDT

Valleywag mascot Chadrick Baker addresses the crowd at a recent virtual-reality conference. Suggest your caption in the comments [Tech Tucked Under a Wing]

Chadrick loves blasphemous gay Jesus

Owen Thomas — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 19:00:00 EDT

Here's how Valleywag mascot Chadrick Baker spent his Easter. Usual caption contest rules reply, plus a special one: The headline must start by informing readers what Chadrick loves.

Valleywag mascot awarded second meaningless title

Owen Thomas — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 13:00:00 EDT

We're so proud! Chadrick Baker, the omniphilic gadabout who replaced Robert Scoble in our obsessions, has been named an advisory board member by the Association of Virtual Worlds. "The three dimensional Internet will emerge, and it's those who get involved now who will be considered the new early adopters," says our mascot, who used to work as Second Life's policy bad cop at Linden Lab. Got it! Attention, annoying VRML kids who worked at BigBook in the 1990s: You're officially the old early adopters. But somehow, I bet that Chadrick still loves you.

Chadrick loves helping Diana Furka launch tech blog Oddistry.com

Owen Thomas — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 22:00:24 EDT

Our new Valleywag mascot, Chadrick Baker, first came to our attention by announcing his love for the tech girls of Silicon Valley. Now he's ventured beyond love into selfless devotion. Ask.com art director Diana Furka has launched a new tech-culture videoblog, Oddistry. Baker is helping produce. I asked Baker whether Oddistry.com was anything like JakobandJulia.com, the ill-fated relationship blog of Vimeo founder Jakob Lodwick and reality-TV hopeful Julia Allison.

He and Furka aren't dating, Baker hastened to clarify. "This is different," he IM'd me. "Although, if that'll give her press, we could always do the Jakob and Julia angle." Chadrick, as our mascot, Valleywag does have certain expectations of you. In the clip above, Furka explains the recent bridal extravaganza which got Baker felt up by a hairy man in a dress.

Chadrick loves big hairy men in dresses

Owen Thomas — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 12:00:30 EDT

When last I saw Valleywag mascot Chadrick Baker, he offered to make out with me. I assumed he was kidding. But then he turned up looking natty in a tux, with a drag-queen bride at his side. Really, Chadrick, we don't care which way you swing — just keep swinging. Chadrick with more brides, after the jump.

(Photos by chrismatthews)

Chadrick loves Southwest calling the cops on him for being a "fuckin' genius"

Owen Thomas — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 15:40:05 EDT

"I've just been the victim of an attempted undressing by Southwest Airlines," Valleywag mascot Chadrick Baker informs us via his blog. Returning from SXSW, Baker sported a T-shirt he'd borrowed from Ask.com's Diana Furka (shown here modeling it). It announced to the world what Valleywag already knew about our Chadrick: He's a "fuckin' genius." Such a genius that he wore said shirt while flying Southwest back to San Francisco. Come on, Chadrick!

Southwest is the airline which once tried to kick off a Hooters Girl over her miniskirt. A flight attendant told our Chadrick to take off his shirt because Southwest is "a family airline." Apparently a shirtless guy on a plane was deemed less offensive than his T-shirt. Sadly, he covered up with a jacket instead. But his questions about Southwest's clothing policy irked an attendant enough that she had a cop get on board the flight at LAX. He narrowly dodged them by holding his bag in front of him as he got off the plane. Next time, Chadrick, fly United. You're too important to the future of the Internet to go to jail.

(Photos by Chadrick Baker)

Chadrick, the new Robert Scoble, loves everything

Owen Thomas — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:40:49 EDT

The best thing about drunkblogging? When people send in detailed corrections about your alcohol-addled ramblings. Chadrick Baker, lover of tech women, lover of the Internet, now informs me that his affections are unlimited. I'm appointing him Valleywag's new mascot, replacing Robert Scoble. His email, after the jump:

I love the internet? Oh come on Owen, I love everything, not just tech women and the internet. Yes, EVERYTHING. I especially love Virtual Worlds. Speaking of which, last night, the multiple login thing, I was talking about using something like Open ID to transfer online identity between multiple virtual spaces or social platforms. Not logging into myspace and facebook at the same time, I was just using that as an example, obviously a poor one :P
It was good meeting you last night and yes Owen, I love you too.

Soon!

Chadrick loves the Internet

Owen Thomas — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 01:30:55 EDT

Remember Chadrick Baker, the fellow who loves women who love tech? We hear he met Julia Allison at SXSW, an object of his alienated affection, and the two made up. And we also hear he's discovered the future of the Internet. It has something to do with logging onto Facebook and MySpace at the same time. This kind of thing always sounds better with beer.

Chadrick loves Sarah, Amanda, Diana, and Sarah — and thinks you will, too

Nicholas Carlson — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 20:00:43 EST

If only you people would stop clicking on posts about Julia Allison and Meghan Asha, you would make Metaversatility biz-dev guy Chadrick Baker very happy. "Please, please for all that is good and is right in the world," Baker beseeches us in an email, "please stop reporting on nitwits." Below, the "smart, attractive geeky entrepreneurial type girls" Chadrick thinks we should be writing about instead. Who's your favorite? Vote for her in our poll.

(Photos by b_d_solis, mf_cailloux, Lorena & David, and again, b_d_solis)