Well, eight months after it first started making headlines we finally managed to score an invite to the Zivity beta site, and now we can tell you: not very much.

After all the hype it's received, we expected ... well, something we hadn't seen before, or at least something pretty special. You know, something slightly more than just an opportunity to set up a profile page and look at some pictures of naked chicks female beauty.

Granted, Zivity has entered the market at more than a bit of disadvantage. With megaporn site (excuse us, modern pinup showcase) SuicideGirls setting a certain standard for adult communities online, it can be pretty hard for any new kid on the block to compete. Still, given that Zivity is clearly aware of SG (Missy Suicide is one of their photographers), you'd think they'd at least try to have a site that's more impressive.

No such luck, though: aside from the photos and their totally original voting system, there's not much there there Does anyone really need yet another website where they can set up yet another profile? Sure, the pictures are pretty hot (if a bit tame) ... but why do you have to have one more profile to keep track of just to look at them?

Sample model page

Sample Photo Set

Photo Upload Page (note: no nudity for nonmodels!)

To be fair, Zivity is in beta, so maybe they have some other features in the works that will be in place before their public launch. If not ... well, we sure hope at least a chunk of that $7 million is winding up in their models' pockets. We hate to see good money going to waste.

· Zivity

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Previously: Zivity's Big Score: Good Money After Bad?, Porn 2.0: Haven't We Been Here Before?, The New Porn.com: When Bad Things Happen To Good Domains

That fact alone wouldn't bother us so much if we didn't then have to sit on our hands as Diggers bestow link love on all kinds of racy material from more "respectable" sites. For example, recent front page winners on Digg included a link to Terminator fuckbots that we featured here a while back (before it became a traffic bonanza for our geeky brothers at Gizmodo—and don't even get us started on that doggie sex toy post .) The point is that we often engage in some good, relatively harmless fun that the Digg community obviously enjoys, yet we aren't allowed in the the front door because we're "one of those" sites.

Now, we don't expect folks to start linking to our daily hardcore Flesh Flicks videos or anything ... but surely there must be some middle ground where porn lovers and folks with generous workplace filters can live in harmony. True, there have been several attempts to emulate the Digg model for adult sites, but they've all come up short.

Still, people love Digg and Digg lovers like sexy stuff. They helped earn a reprieve for that Fox News Porn parody after it was famously banned, other links submitted with "porn" or "extremely NSFW" in the headline do just fine ... and if you check out the "Best Of" lists from any of our sister sites, the most popular items (with or without Digging) are frequently sex related. So why can't we play along too?

Of course, cynics might say that this very post is just another shameless attempt to bait Digg and score some sweet hot pageview love of our very own. (And they'd be right—too bad we can't Digg this link.) Just don't tell us that you didn't want to share that Jesus fuck doll ad with all your friends in the 2.0 world. Even if stuff like that is probably what got us banned in the first place.

· Digg Terms of Use (digg.com)

Update: Those techie suck ups at Valleywag respond to our reasonable request.

Related (sorta):
· "Hotdoll: The Sex Doll for Dogs" (the most popular story of 2007 @ Gizmodo)
· In SF, Third Breast Is More Common Than Third Eye (io9)
· "The Top Five Reasons Digg Is Completely Useless For Finding Anything Related To Music" (Idolator)
· "All You Need to Know About Digg" (Gawker)
· "Denton to pay bloggers based on traffic" (Valleywag)

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Previously: Is Fox News Too Hot For TV?, Hot Hexadecimal Dildo Porn: Digg This!, Dig for Porn, MoSexIndex, Splutr: More Social Porn, Fantasti.cc Videos: Community Rated Smut, Porn 2.0: Haven't We Been Here Before?

Freepers
Habitat: Free Republic
Obsession: Conservative politics
Religion: Greed, God, and Glory
Best known for: Taking down Dan Rather

How they think: Item: Dallas promotes gay-friendly tourism. Comment #3 reads, "Guess there is not a real American state left in this country anymore." #4: "Sickos!" #36: "Won't be visiting any of these cities." This site is an echo chamber, not a debate hall.

How to approach: With metaphor, preferably drawn from entertainment watched by many white males. For example, Freepers found themselves logically trapped by an episode of Battlestar Galactica. The resulting breakthroughs impressed the more reasonable (and liberal-leaning) forum members at Metafilter.

Diggers
Habitat: Digg
Obsession: Tech, Kevin Rose
Attention span: Three seconds (exception for boobies)

How they think: You are with us or you are against us. The important thing to note is that only half of Digg's users are psychopaths. The other half are intelligent, thoughtful, and reasonable. Case in point: The comments on this thread about a guy who now blocks Diggers (for clearly explained reasons, including that he never wanted this attention). An example of Mr. Awful Commenter: "This has got to be the lamest idea and most pathetic attempt to get attention." But here's Mr. Reasonable Commenter: "This guy is a genius. Props to him for posting the code too."

How to approach: Like a stranger to a child: with candy and compliments. Want to avoid a battle? Forget conflict-raising posts about the PS3 or Wii (unless it's about making a Mii that looks like Jack Black) and pour them a spoonful of sugar. Or butter them up, especially if you can make Mr. Reasonable Commenter slam down Mr. Awful Commenter.

YouGoobs
Habitat: YouTube
Obsession: Any video 10 minutes or shorter
Demographic: Teens and 20s. Geriatric1927 is such a hit because he's such an anomaly (of course, he's also a good storyteller).

How they think: The vloggers are clever, the commenters are dumb as rocks (not even "igneous" dumb, but sandstone dumb). Take, for instance, the sarcasm girl, Paperlilies. She made a cute, if not very funny, video saying sarcasm shouldn't be on YouTube. YouTube featured it, and the horde came to tear her down. So Paperlilies read the abusive comments aloud for three solid minutes. "You need to shut up because you're fat. And a bitch." No wonder the geek webcomic xkcd called YouTubers the loudest dumbest people on the Internet.

How to approach: Subtlety and sarcasm are lost. Stunts sell. The most-viewed YouTube video of all time (with over 38 million views) is Evolution of Dance, a routine including all the top dances from Elvis's "Hound Dog" through "Thriller" to "Dirt Off Your Shoulder." In fact, almost all the top YouTube vids are song and dance. Music is a must.