Megan McCarthy: okay, basically, this conference is all about widgets [embeddable pieces of code for web pages] and gadgets and it's all kind of cool and useful in practice

Nick Douglas: This is something you can hold an entire conference on?

Megan: I'm as shocked as you
I'm learning lots of ways to pimp out my myspace page
I'll be stylin' soon

Nick: And those attendees unlucky enough to nab a press pass, they paid HOW much to learn that?

Megan: about $100?
it's all about the networking at this thing
[TechCrunch blog founder] Michael Arrington ran away from me
Nick: So how good was the networking? Who'd you see?
First Marissa, then Arrington. We'll have to start a hall of fame.

Megan: the "I'm Afraid of Valleywag" club
we can send them a button
How about this, we can create an "Afraid of Valleywag" widget and they can post it on their site

Nick: so who else was there?

Megan:[GigaOM founder] Om Malik, of course
Tara Hunt from Citizen Agency
The Feedburner guys
(The CTO of feedburner showed me how to use RSS feeds. He was very nice)

Nick: any memorable talks?

Megan: a LOT of it went over my head
Marc Canter [former Macromedia exec] was his usual bombastic self
[TailRank maker] Kevin Burton's here
Met some people from Fox Interactive in LA. They told me I need to come down there for a party

Nick: so did our readers miss anything other than a chance to meet dot-commers?

Megan: Free coffee
& good sandwiches
There was a big debate: Is the terminology called Widgets? Or is it called Gadgets?

Nick: i haven't heard a worse debate since freshman year speech club.

Megan: I think they should decide by using the Thunderdome method
Fight to the death
Two terms enter, one term leaves

Hey, just wanna alert you all that no, Bono is not at this week's DEMO conference in San Diego. There's just some dude who actually looks more like Robin Williams wearing a VR helmet. He fooled plenty of attendees, including PC Mag writers, who later figured out that the U2 star is actually in New York this week. (Is the conference worth going to anyway? No.)

Bono At DEMO? Oh No, U Noob [Gearlog]

they dropped it, and they guy almost had a heart attack. luckily mojopac is some portable computing thing that lets you store all your shit on a pod.Looking back, seems like an elaborate setup. Old thinkpad sacrificed for product promotion?

So let's score that puppy. I'm starting to remember the summit now...yes, there were shorn bears juggling chainsaws, and who could forget the climactic performance when Google's Larry and Sergey flew everyone out for milk and cookies?

What do you remember from the summit you weren't at? If you don't already have a comment account, pick a username and password and leave a damn good memory, and you could join the comment club.

Matt Haughey: hey are you at the future of web apps thing?
Valleywag: nope
Wag: i could drop by
Matt: I can't believe you didn't come here to heckle [TechCrunch blogger and startup slut Michael] arrington's talk
Wag: ugh
Matt: I know, it's shooting fish in a barrel
Matt: you should let me do OMG LIVE BLOGGING!!!1!!!

So I did. The poorly formatted results are below. OMG REFRSH 4 UPDTATESS

Matt: be sure and drink every time you hear "zoomr is going to kill flickr"
Matt: and "[Mike's startup] edgio is the greatest"
Matt: he's going to announce a new techfoo blog at the end
Matt: he loves digg
Matt: he also loves facebook, youtube, photobucket, zoho, stumbleupon, popsugar, plentyoffish, and netvibes
Wag: slut
Matt: these are compnies to watch and should get bought
Matt: his talk is like "here's what worked and here's what might work next"
Matt: so he's in the review phase
Wag: how does he define "work"
Wag: does plentyoffish really work?
Wag: i don't even know what popsugar is
Matt: he's a rich lawyer
Matt: money is all that matters

UPDATE 1:

Matt: he said it's a celeb gossip blog
Matt: started a year ago
Matt: 5 people
Matt: 13 million pages a month
Matt: he says it'll be the techcrunch of gossip blogs I guess
Wag: um
Wag: techcrunch says it [TechCrunch] gets a million pages a month
Wag: i don't see stats here but did he really say popsugar gets 13M a month?
Matt: awesome
Matt: the What were they thinking? slide
Wag: pics or it's not real
Matt: inform.com, gather, pubsub, browzar, jigsaw, and squidoo
Matt: squidoo is so fucking lame
Matt: he just said it
Wag: i liked pubsub, what happened to them?
Wag: man give up on jigsaw nobody cares
Matt: I think the board imploded at pubsub
Matt: the two founders got in a fight
Wag: is he going over each one?
Matt: yeah
Wag: not that i should talk, but when pubsub happened was arrington even around?
Matt: browzar is malware
Matt: squidoo!
Matt: I wonder if I can stream audio to you
Wag: please don't
Matt: heh

LATER:

Wag: anything new?
Matt: he has tips on how to win
Matt: don't take funding, make sure you get along iwth founders, etc
Wag: how much funding did edgeio take
Wag: you know why techcrunch didn't take funding
Matt: I dunno
Wag: they got turned down
Wag: by venture capitalists

In its 29-year history, the conference became an ultimate schmoozefest, with higher-level attendees than other conferences like Supernova. Organizer Esther Dyson (pictured) moderated discussions between bigwigs ("more of a 'show and tell,' not highfalutin' thinkin'," says one tech exec).

Hacker and painter Maciej Ceglowski wrote a clever account of one PC Forum event, satirizing the high schmooze factor and low real-information level in the panels.

PC Forum [Official site]

Sun is so short of money now, that for a recent Sun Data Centre conference that they held in Melbourne, Australia, they had their event organiser seek external sponsorship. Someone from HP stepped up and sponsored a dinner or something, which resulted in the attached napkins being used throughout the whole conference. Apparently the Sun customers thought it was great, especially watching the Sun reps running around trying to pick up the napkins all day.

Credibility is like virginity.

Someday my six year old son hopes to grow up and scale across the enterprise.

My kids are going to go NUTS when I tell them I was at the Wharton Supernova Enterprise User Perspective workshop and I didn't take them!

"He used a Lego example and a Burger King example." "Oh, they beat us on Burger King?" "Yeah." "Then I should write a blog essay critiquing Burger King."

Tune in tomorrow, when Sun CEO Jonathan Schwartz will share the insights that made Sun great. Later that day, he'll fire thousands of workers.

MashPit III: Tuesday 10-5
Made by: "Pinko Marketing" evangelist Tara Hunt; designer Chris Messina; Technorati coder Tantek Celik
Gist: Coders make mashups of their favorite Internet tools
Attendance: About 22 people as of 11 AM, room for more
People to meet: Tantek Celik, Chief Technologist for blog-tracking startup Technorati and king of Microformats (meet him again at Supernova)
People to avoid: Kevin Burton, because he's not allowed to talk until he sells his startup.
Fringe benefit: Free Starbucks and pastries, unless you'd rather watch the live video feed.

Supernova 2006: Wednesday to Friday
Gist: Speakers like Craigslist founder Craig Newmark, Technorati founder Dave Sifry, and Yahoo Senior VP Usama Fayyad speak about the business of technology. But you're here for the networking.
Attendance: Several hundred geeks and wonks hailing from Wired Magazine, Microsoft, Plaxo, and other places you want to get hired
People to meet: Kyle Brinkman, co-founder of MySpace, to ask if he's grown up and joined Facebook yet
People to avoid: The Ponytail (and Jon Schwartz, the interim Sun CEO attached to it)
Fringe benefit: Have fun drawing six-degrees-of-Kevin-Bacon maps connecting all the panelists — "So he's from Technorati, and she's on Technorati's board, but she also used to work for Sun, where this other guy works after leaving Microsoft...and these two are totally sleeping together."

Bloggercon IV: Thursday night to Saturday evening
Gist: Bloggers like RSS innovator Dave Winer and Gnomedex conference founder Chris Pirillo discuss blogging, how to make money from it, and how to win elections with it — things that bloggers currently suck at
Attendance: Capped at 125, with a long waiting list
People to meet: MAKE Magazine blogger Phil Torrone, man of many tech toys (jammers! robots! LEDs!)
People to avoid: Winer — which might be hard, since it's his conference
Fringe benefit: Winer declared the whole conference "on the record." Exploit this every time you overhear a whisper.

BarCamp: Friday to Sunday
Gist: Much bigger, funner version of MashPit — one of many BarCamp coding and collaboration events held around the world. Hosted by Microsoft, who really wants to prove how indie they are
Attendance: Room for 250, with 204 signed up so far
People to meet: Techmeme founder Gabe Rivera, if only to ask whether he and roommate Michael Arrington really have a "Tech-cave" and "Tech-mobile" in the basement
People to avoid: Anyone with a podcast microphone
Fringe benefit: Brag about getting invited to O'Reilly Media's Foo Camp, so "I just thought I'd drop by to see the little people."

Supernova 2006 [Official site]

"Can't they just change it to Podtronic?" he said. "Whatever that monty python line is..."

You know the one.

First Bruce: Is your name not Bruce?
Michael: No, it's Michael.
Second Bruce: That's going to cause a little confusion.
Third Bruce: Mind if we call you "Bruce" to keep it clear?

Conference schedule [Under the Radar]

Check out who's coming — Canadian Flockstar Will Pate, Digg hottie Kevin Rose, media maven Irina Slutsky of GETV, and so many more! Sign up or just stumble in!

And thanks to the $100 sloshcon sponsors — which now include WordPress.com owner Automattic, Mena Trott of Six Apart, Gabriel Venture Partners, Digg, STIRR Network, and Laughing Squid. Silver $250 sponsors are Topix.net and Valleywag owner Gawker Media.

Booze! Shouting! TV coverage (no seriously)! Get ready to get drunk and argue about the Internet (and those damn humanity-killing robots) this Thursday night at San Francisco's House of Shields!

Web Infinity Plus One: The SloshCon [Upcoming]

Spinergy: An attempt to feign corporate synergy through artful PR.
Funlawful: "Popular and possibly illegal."
Journoballistic: Part of the fourth estate, mad as hell, and not gonna take it any more.
SloshCon: Ever played Sloshball, which is softball where everyone has a beer in their hands? Translate that to speaking at a conference.

After Years of Pushing Synergy, Time Warner Inc. Says Enough [WSJ]
Russian Download Site Is Popular and Possibly Illegal [NYT]
NUJ calls for Yahoo boycott [Reuters]
Speak at Valleywag's Web I+1 SloshCon [Valleywag]

Keeping in the true spirit of blogging, Web I+1 is a SloshCon — if you're drinking that night, you can't be on stage without a glass of booze in your hand. Easy to do, thanks to the open bar.

And we want speakers. That's right — we want you to come drink our alcohol and yell at people from a stage!

So if you have something to say about the Web, the Singularity, how the robots will destroy us all, or how to flip a startup before you even start it, tell tips@valleywag.com. Just list your name, your subject, and anything witty that crosses your mind. (Debate teams are welcome.)

Earlier: Valleywag Web Infinity Plus One Conference — Next Thursday! [Valleywag]
Optional RSVP: Web Infinity Plus One: The SloshCon [Upcoming.org]
Photo: Frank Chu and Prince Charles [Thomas Hawk on Flickr]

It's every boy's wet dream: get topless with Martha Stewart. At any rate, that guy in the shades looks jealous.

Al Gore, confused by the scenery, spent the whole time asking when the shuttle would blast off.

"I never attend a conference without my Wubby."

J. Peterman: "Elaine, you may call it Myanmar, but it will always be Burma to me."

"Ahahahaha, ahaha, aha...yes, yes, I am the love child of Steve Rubel and Tucker Carlson."

After host Kara Swisher was pried out from under the statesman's body, Mossberg wrote, "Lesson Learned: Don't offer Al Gore cake."

My god, Blodgett, you don't have to say yes to every conference invite.

Sandwiched between Al Gore and a big techie journalisty guy, Esther Dyson can't help but make an "I am cute and tiny!" face.

A moment of silence for the Guy Who Forgot to Bring Collared Shirts. (Don't be that guy.)

"No," says blog publisher Arianna Huffington, "I don't have any spare change. Now move away, you're standing in front of my Prius."

Walt Mossberg: "Whatever you do, let's please not make Marissa Mayer giggle."

Photos: D Conference [Dan Farber on Flickr]

No joke, we're holding a Web Infinity Plus One Conference at the House of Shields a week from today! The top room's reserved and the sponsors are ponying up for the bar tab. The deets:

• Where: San Francisco bar House of Shields
• When: Thursday, 8 June, 9ish PM
• What: Live GETV interview by Irina Slutsky; impromptu drunk speeches; OPEN BAR
• Why: To make a paper trail so Valleywag can pull an O'Reilly.
• $100 Sponsors: Automattic; Mena Trott of Six Apart; STIRR Network; Gawker Media ($250)

Oh boy there's more! Watch Valleywag every day til then for updates on the Best Night This Side of the Singularity!

Web Infinity Plus One: The SloshCon [RSVP on Upcoming.org]
HoS photo: Web 1.0 Summit [Scott Beale on Flickr]

Please do us all a favor and write an expose of the dreaded Conference Hags. There they were in your latest entry. Esther Dyson [pictured], Mitch Kapor. I'm sure Stewart Alsop was there as well.

A study of Flickr photos from conferences each week will reveal these knuckleheads as the Zeligs of the Web/Techie/CoolNewHipNow conference scene.

I don't go to that many conferences each year, but these three Conference Hags are ALWAYS there.

Do they have nothing better to do? Worse, they bust in on conversations and comment like they are the only ones that have a correct opinion. Shut up, already. And find something better to do.

But isn't it better to think of these "conference hags" as jetsetting cool-hunters whose presence validates a conference?

Gawker Media polls require Javascript; if you're viewing this in an RSS reader, click through to view in your Javascript-enabled web browser.

"Looks great, doesn't he?" says Melinda Gates. "I left him alone at Bath and Body Works, and he picked himself a moisturizer."

Damn it, if Walt Mossberg hears one more story about that stinking John Markoff, he's switching to hard liquor.

Jean Louis Gassee: "I worked at Apple for nine years, and honestly, Steve's feet are this huge."

Martha's only smiling because she thinks that's Daler Mehndi.

After the jump, Mr. High Fidelity looks for a cooler conversationalist.

ZDNet king Eric Hippeau to serial entrepreneur Josh Felser: "Oh, my unbuttoned shirt is no accident, Josh. Let's dump this dump and go...share some war stories."

Lotus founder Mitch Kapor tells Answers.com founder Bob Rosenschein: "There's the 98-pound Dictionary.com guy. Let's go throw wine in his face."

Martha Stewart and her boyfriend, the man who built Word and Excel, Charles Simonyi. (They really are dating.)

The crowd was delighted as Walt and Kara performed a scene from A Streetcar Named Desire. "Listen, baby, when we first met - you and me - you thought I was common. Well, how right you was. I was common as dirt."

"Walt. WALT. Put down the Jack Daniel's and let's stop the 'I'll kill that ass Markoff' talk."

AOL exec Jason Calacanis pulls the Kawaii Anime Girl sign we all know and love. Meanwhile, the extinguished body of VC Yossi Vardi slumps in its chair.

"And we'll have a farm...with ethanol-fueled vehicles...and I can pet the rabbits! Tell me about the rabbits, Vinod!"

Dan's schwag. That damn Long Tail gets EVERYWHERE.

John Cusak pulls the over-the-shoulder glance, made easier because Kara Swisher is half his height.

Photos: D Conference [Dan Farber on Flickr]

• Tim won't sue Tom! Yay! Happy puppies and cake! [O'Reilly Radar]
• Oh wait shit Tom's pissed! "Is it just me or are they still not getting it?" asks Tom in a post titled "O'Reilly's mean-spirited response." He explains: "They are asking us to sign a document saying we won't hold any future events with the term Web 2.0 in the title." [Tom Raftery]
• I have written "Tom" for "Tim" and "Tim" for "Tom" seven times and had to fix it. GET NEW NAMES.
• O'Reilly has more tech heavyweights on his embarrassing Techmeme discussion page than he's ever had at his conferences. (Hint: Hover on "Discussion" and hit "+".) [Techmeme]

After the jump, more things that have happened.

• Macromedia founder Marc Canter has spoken from the hazy depths of his offices (Marc, your offices smell GOOD!) and turned from crazy old uncle to wise old uncle: Gee, he wonders, why hasn't activist Cory Doctorow added this to his mega-stream of IP-related Boing Boing articles? Surely it has NOTHING to do with Cory and Tim's friendship! COULDN'T BE. (Also: Marc wins award for awesomest illustrative photo.) [Broadband Mechanics]
• Update: Cory speaks — without swears, vitriol, or exclamation marks. It's like seeing Bill O'Reilly act like Garrison Keillor. [Boing Boing]
• Another Buddy-O-Reilly's, Boing Boing band manager John Battelle, will not comment until he talks to Tim. Nope, he will NOT take sides til he hears both. Wouldn't be fair.
• BUT-I'M-ON-TIM'S-SIDE-K-THX-BYE. [John Battelle]
• Thomas Hawk says it with pictures. [Thomas Hawk]
• Hawk updates: "First off I probably should not be calling Tim O'Reilly an asshole." [Thomas Hawk]
• Shel Israel has an entire naked conversation with himself but manages to say nothing. [Naked Conversations]
• Michael Arrington holds a Web 2.0 Party. Next up: Why Michael Arrington can kick Tim O'Reilly's ass. [TechCrunch]

Earlier: Anatomy of a shitstorm: O'Reilly trademarks Web 2.0 [Valleywag]

"Tim O'Reilly needs to muzzle his lawyers immediately and respond publicly, personally and immediately to the situation, because I sense that a lynching is about to occur in the blogosphere." — TechCrunch's Michael Arrington, CrunchNotes

"This just has to be one of those bone-headed things lawyers do when no one is looking. If it isn't, than I would predict that O'Reilly has just put himself on the fast track to reputation implosion." — Shel Israel, Naked Conversations

Et après eux, le déluge.

O'Reilly trademarks "Web 2.0″ and sets lawyers on IT@Cork! [IT@Cork]