Gawker: valleywag, contest

Where would you put the Wikipedia logo?

Jackson West — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 08:00:19 EDT

With ICQ lending its name to an Israeli toothpaste manufacturer and Google trucking branded ice cream bars to its Mountain View headquarters, no wonder Jimmy Wales is thinking about how Wikipedia can cash in on brand licensing. The only problem: Wales's marketing ideas are as dull as his sexual fantasies. Board games? Discovery Channel specials? Boring!

Wales needs to think about the special attributes he — and he alone — brings to the Wikipedia brand. Wales is becoming known as a stud to end all studs, having bedded women around the world on Wikipedia-promoting junkets. Three words: user-generated condoms. Imagine the sum of all human knowledge unrolling before her eyes. Pick the right article to put on your article, and she'll edit herself right into your history. And worry not — they're as reliable as the information in Wikipedia.

That's just the beginning. What (or whom) would you brand with the august Wikipedia logo? The 250th commenter gets a free copy of Jimmy Wales: Vision: Wikipedia and the Future of Free Culture on DVD.

Grownups, make your own Google Doodle

Jordan Golson — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 17:40:07 EST

Google is holding a contest for K-12 students to create a Google Doodle — the themed logos Google occasionally runs on its homepage. The winner's will run on the front page of Google later this year. The theme is "What if ... ?" Precious. Sadly, most of our readers are overage for the contest. (Emotional age doesn't count.) So we'll have our own! Got some Photoshop skill? Make a Google Doodle of your own and send it to us. We'll run the winner on Valleywag's homepage. If you're like me and have no artistic ability whatsoever, suggest your best "What if ... ?" theme in the comments below.

Write your own headline for Yahoo's Microsoft snub

Jordan Golson — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 19:00:18 EST

Yesterday, Yahoo's board officially rejected Microsoft's unsolicited — now hostile — takeover bid, and I had a grand time coming up with headline after headline, but sadly we could only run one of them. Here's our chance to be creative! Come up with a great headline and post it in the comments below. If you've never commented before, sign-up instructions are after the jump. Here are some of our favorites.

Microsoft finds Yahoo's lack of faith disturbing
Yahoo asks Microsoft if it really wants to step to this
Yahoo to Microsoft: Oh, no you di'int
Jerry Yang to troops: BOHICA

You can do better. Have at it. For new commenters:

Your comment identity is never linked to an email address in our system, unless you choose to enter one. So long as you choose an obscure screenname, nobody will know it's you. Or, if you're new, you can just submit a smart comment, username and password; it will go into an approval queue. We don't edit individual comments, though we do occasionally ban trolls, or bores, or shameless self-promoters. Almost anything, even needlessly bracing language, is forgiven if there's at least a nugget of information.

Remind us who we're sleeping with this week?

Melissa Gira Grant — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 18:00:14 EST

"It would be easy to put together a scorecard and a list of Web 2.0 luminaries who haven't graced their pages," suggests sexy Internet daddy-type Dave Winer. "We might find out who's sleeping with the editors of Valleywag." Great idea, Dave! You make a chart, we'll run it at full 720-pixel width. Promise. But only if you specify which editor. One of Winer's commenters claims Blognation owner Tristan Louis got a free pass from the 'Wag. But did Louis pay through the nose for Mary Jane Irwin's sweet, sweet GFE embrace, or is Owen Thomas giving him the reacharound for free? Readers care about those little details.

Yahoo/Microsoft Photoshop contest winners

Jordan Golson — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 21:00:02 EST

Last week we hooked up with Fark.com to run a photoshop contest: "What are we likely to see as the result of the Microsoft-Yahoo takeover?" Here are our favorite submissions.

Image above: shilrobot

~Latka

~Anonymous

Fark/Valleywag Photoshop contest: the Microsoft-Yahoo takeover

Jordan Golson — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 13:30:45 EST

We've partnered up with Drew Curtis at Fark to run a photoshop contest:

What are we likely to see as the result of the Microsoft-Yahoo takeover?

Do your best and post it on Fark or email it to us if you want to remain anonymous. We'll post the winners next week. (Photo by AP/Mark Lennihan)

Marissa Mayer rocks the beatbox

Nick Douglas — Fri, 19 May 2006 10:00:00 EDT

Yes, this is the bone-chilling laugh of Google VP-and-spokeswoman Marissa Mayer. Yes, someone sampled it over a beat and sent it in. Yes, we all have too much time on our hands. Now listen.

Look. If any of you make another mix of samples from Mayer's Stanford talk (direct WMV link), I may force us all to vote for the best one. And the winner may have to collaborate with me on a Valleywag rap-ode-to-a-blogger project. Just sayin'.

Earlier: The infectious giggle of Marissa Mayer [Valleywag]

Snacky or Flacky prelims: Scandal and Mayhem

ndouglas — Wed, 03 May 2006 15:01:29 EDT

Rounds 1 and 2 of the Snacky or Flacky prelims (the first rounds in Valleywag's PR-hotties tourney) gave us a real victory and a fake-out. The honest-as-Woz victor was TagWorld's Paula Gould, who whipped ShopWiki's Carlos Odio, 337 votes to 130. Sorry Carlos, we'll always have a special place for you in our little black book.

All right, who jacked the Tiffany-vs-Jaime round? That face-off netted 15 times the normal vote rate, so either Steve Jobs issued an internal memo, or some coder needs a hobby. In any case, this is the perfect chance to throw both out in favor of a recently discovered snacky flacky:

The flack: Steve Langdon
The firm: Google, corporate communications
The pic: "Deep Voice" [Yahoo Personals]
The juice: Presumably tired of trolling the Googleplex cafeteria (or too smart to date inside the office), Steve opted for a Yahoo Personals ad. Says he had lunch at Miles Davis's house once — maybe he can take you on a second visit. One does assume he's single.

Full poll results after the jump.

Part of: Snacky or Flacky (all posts) [Valleywag]

Snacky or Flacky prelims, round 2: Tiffany Frye vs. Jaime Le

ndouglas — Tue, 02 May 2006 13:23:29 EDT

Round 2 of Snacky or Flacky, the week-long PR hottie face-off, (tourney brackets here) pits Apple's Tiffany Frye against NetApp's Jaime "Jinks" Le. Voting on this Ready! Set! Snack!

Round 1: Snacky or Flacky round 1: Startup edition [Valleywag]

UPDATE: Dear Apple PR: Don't hate on Tiffany! It was Valleywag's call, not hers, to put her in the contest. E-mail editor @ valleywag . com to discuss with us directly.

Snacky or Flacky, round 1: Startup edition

ndouglas — Tue, 02 May 2006 11:01:31 EDT

Let the games begin! Vote in the first round of "Snacky or Flacky," where 16 PR folks will enter, but only one will win! First up are two startup publicists, Carlos Odio of shopping search ShopWiki and Paula Gould of MySpace killer TagWorld.

After the jump, the brackets for the whole Snacky or Flacky tournament (the Snacky or Flacky Tourney Bracky).

Part of: Valleywag hotties: Snacky or Flacky? [Valleywag]

Snacky or Flacky: The ultimate nominations

ndouglas — Mon, 01 May 2006 22:19:21 EDT

Nominations for the Snacky or Flacky contest, where Valleywag readers will elect the sexiest PR person in tech, is extended through the night. Voting begins tomorrow. Here are more lovely flacks, nominated by you.

The flack: Kay Luo
The firm: Simply Hired, marketing director
The pic: Kay Luo [Orkut]
The juice: Her dog is friends with TechCrunch blogger Michael Arrington's. Internet friends, anyway.

The flack: Dina Freeman
The firm: Yahoo
The pic: Dina and Lesley [Flickr]
The juice: Her Yahoo 360 profile's employment gap from 2000 to 2002 hides a secret Dina is too humble to admit: She spent the entire two years rescuing kittens trapped in fires and babies stuck up trees.

The flack: Nathan Tyler
The firm: Google
The pic: e-mailed
The juice: Already declared the hottest man in Google, this flack left the company but still works as a PR consultant.

The flack: Carlos Odio
The firm: ShopWiki, publicist
The pic: e-mailed
The juice: Says a co-worker: "Here at ShopWiki.com, the ladies want to be with him and the men all want to be him." Rowr.

The flack: Jaime "Jinks" Le
The firm: Network Appliance
The pic: e-mailed
The juice: Jinks's whole office is bummed that she just got married. Best wishes, of course, to her husband, the lucky dog.

The flack: Tiffany Frye
The firm: Apple (PowerSchool division)
The pic:Tiffany [MySpace]
The juice: What can I tell you that you don't already know? She's one of those people with the fully fleshed-out MySpace profile (Dear Tiffany — me too! Seehowmuchwehaveincommonlet'sgetmarried!)

More, more, we'll never be satisfied. E-mail tips@valleywag.com by Tuesday morning with your nominee.

More nominees: Snacky or Flacky [Valleywag]
Part of: PR Valleywag Hotties: Snacky or Flacky? [Valleywag]

UPDATE: Dear Apple PR: Don't hate on Tiffany! It was Valleywag's call, not hers, to put her in the contest. E-mail editor @ valleywag . com to discuss with us directly.

Snacky or Flacky: More PR hotties

ndouglas — Fri, 28 Apr 2006 14:03:44 EDT

They're everywhere, they're everywhere! The pretty PR stars of the Valley keep rolling in as readers built the roster for Snacky or Flacky. E-mail Valleywag with a pic and profile of your favorite flack. Next week, we put them through a tourney to see who's the snackiest flack of them all.

The flack: Justin O'Neill
The firm: Ogilvy
The pic: e-mailed
The juice: "Justin enjoys spooning, long periods in front of the mirror and hitting on girls out of his league (most of them are)," says his nominator. "A wholesome Midwestern transplant, Justin is a self-proclaimed 'Momma's Boy' who is mildly obsessed with his dog Kole."

The flack: Lauren Strain
The firm: Yahoo, spokesperson
The pic: e-mailed
The juice: She's still a mystery — this story's in progress.

The flack: Terra Carmichael
The firm: Yahoo, spokesperson
The pic: Mom's a N-E-R-D [Yahoo 360 blog]
The juice: Proud mom of blogging twins. Yes, it's one of those "Hey, we're infants who blog" deals, and it's cute.

The flack: Jeremy Pepper
The firm: Weber Shandwick
The pic: Jeremy Pepper [Tara Hunt on Flickr]
The juice: Do all Flickr photos of Jeremy come pre-tagged "May Offend"? The founder of Arizona startup Pop! Public Relations is never afraid to speak his mind, online or in person.

More and more nominees [Valleywag]
Part of: Valleywag hotties: Snacky or flacky? [Valleywag]

Snacky or Flacky: More PR hotties

ndouglas — Thu, 27 Apr 2006 19:42:17 EDT

The Snacky or Flacky tourney hits next week. Keep sending your nominees to tips@valleywag.com, subject "Snacky or Flacky." Give your local PR boy or girl some free publicity.

The flack: Margaux Vega
The firm: Weber Shandwick
The pic: Margaux [MySpace]
The juice: 24 and already in PR. Aren't you supposed to burn out in journalism first?

The flack: Brooke Hammerling
The firm: Brew Media Relations, founder
The pic: Photo Album [PCFORUM]
The big client: Larry Ellison — through projects like NetSuite
The juice: She ran PR for Larry's Netsuite yacht party this month.

The flack: Dianna Mangiantini
The firm: Weber Shandwick (we're double-dipping!)
The pic: Brothers don't shake hands... [MySpace]
The juice: Another hip 20-something culture hound — in case the autoplay Pearl Jam didn't tip you off.

More snacky flackies: Snacky or Flacky: The first three nominees [Valleywag]
Part of: Valleywag hotties: Snacky or flacky? [Valleywag]

Snacky or Flacky: The first three nominees

ndouglas — Tue, 25 Apr 2006 20:20:03 EDT

They're charming so we don't have to be — Valley PR folks will win your heart over in the Snacky or Flacky tournament. The first batch of reader-nominated flacks is served fresh and piping hot.

The flack: Susan MacTavish Best
The firm: Best PR, founder
The pic: Susan and Jim [SmugMug]
The big client: Craigslist
The juice: Best has been lovey-dovey with Craigslist CEO Jim Buckmaster (pictured).

The flack: Paula Gould
The firm: TagWorld, PR director
The pic: TagWorld [Flickr]
The juice: The only PR person you can hook up with on a social site and not feel creepy

The flack: Miles Perkins
The firm: Industrial Light and Magic, senior publicist
The pic: Miles Perkins [Enigmaterial]
The juice: Perkins plays bass for the swingingest of jazz bands, Mingus Amungus.

Keep sending in the noms — e-mail tips@valleywag.com (subject: Snacky or Flacky), IM HeyValleywag, or comment below. (For instance, where are a certain male Google flack's rabid fans?) Next week, the best noms battle for your hearts.

Part of: Valleywag hotties: Snacky or Flacky? [Valleywag]

PR Valleywag hotties: Snacky or flacky?

ndouglas — Tue, 25 Apr 2006 12:02:32 EDT

Is it just me, or is the news full of ugly people this week? It's time to bring out the pretty folks in public relations — those kids in PR may not be the brightest, but they bring the beauty.

So by Friday, send photos your favorite flacks (guys and girls) to tips@valleywag.com. Next week the prettiest in PR will battle in Valleywag Hotties: Snacky or Flacky.

Bonus points for adding a bio, because we care about personality. Hokey "FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE" jokes are allowed and in fact encouraged. Do let Valleywag know if we can finger you as the nominator, and use "Snacky or Flacky" in the subject line.

Valleyspeak winner: WiFired

ndouglas — Fri, 14 Apr 2006 11:35:22 EDT

Congratulations, Kevin Marks! And congratulations, tech world, you have another word you did not need (but wanted so badly). Kevin coined "WiFired," defined as "getting thrown out of an internet cafe for spending 4 hours 'working on your startup' after buying one small mocha."

WiFired was chosen as the favorite neologism in the Valleyspeak Contest. Kevin wins $240 for iTunes and a YoyoPop for the iPod (not a sponsor, they're just cool).

Second place was Exa Grubb's "Typerventilating: Rapidly sending instant messages. Having a panic attack via AIM." She wins everlasting happiness.

Not satisfied with five pages of new words? Feast your vocabs on these late entries:

Hotsquatting: "Borrowing" open wifi connections wherever they are found. [Rick Robinson]

Bee break: The act of sneaking off to the bathroom in the middle of dinner to scroll through one's BlackBerry. [Daily Candy]

Googolo: Short for "Google Gigolo," which is any guy who tries to date or is currently dating a Google girl in order to exploit the free cafeteria or to have some sort of connection to Google so that he can boast to his buddies about it. [Vivian Tan]

Beta Fish: Viciously competitive entrepreneurial software developers who cannot occupy the same market without fighting. [Vivian Tan]

End of: Valleyspeak voting round [Valleywag]
Part of: Valleyspeak Contest [Valleywag]

Notes to self: Om Malik wants another link

ndouglas — Thu, 13 Apr 2006 23:07:59 EDT

Voting for Valleyspeak wraps up tomorrow morning.
Also within the Gawker family, vote for Consumerist's Make up a Word contest.
Someone actually sent an answer to the rhetorical question about a sharing place. They will not be named, but they will be gently informed that this is what libraries do.
Is it just me or is tech blogger Om Malik doing full-on, unapologetic linkbait today?
To the source for the Trogdor story: Your anonymous e-mail is bouncing. Please contact for some story confirmation.

Valleyspeak voting round: Do your part to destroy the language

ndouglas — Thu, 13 Apr 2006 17:39:20 EDT

The final selections are in — words culled from the preliminary rounds of Valleyspeak submissions. Now it's time to decide which neologism is the truest, the wittiest — and the most deserving of $240 at iTunes.

Vote early, vote often, and remember: using fake words makes you superior.

Part of: Valleyspeak contest: Coin a word, win $240 of music [Valleywag]

Valleyspeak: Final prelims

ndouglas — Thu, 13 Apr 2006 13:48:46 EDT

The bastardization of the language continues. The last Valleyspeak entries are in:

budite: A technologically backward person still listening to music on that old portable CD player instead of an iPod with earbuds. [David Brown]

Gushroom Effect: The gush, awe and fan-base increase proportional to the size of one's or a company's estimated wealth. [Anonymous]

Tubastic: Wonderful or superb, remarkable, worthy to be broadcasted on YouTube. [Dan Tam]

Rapples: Alley reporters who make a living following our favorite Cupertino company. [Alexa Smith]

Web2.0MFG: Undefined. [Ginevra Kirkland]
Web2.0 RLY: Undefined. [Ginevra Kirkland]

Sext Messaging: Sending salacious text messages to somebody, replacing phone sex. [Dianne McGunigle]

'Spacing Out: Instead of putting the coversheet on your TPS report, you spend your whole afternoon stalking your ex-girlfriend and writing haiku comments on MySpace. [Darren Lepke]

Now the best Valleyspeak will compete for your love (and for over $200 at iTunes). Voting begins later today.
Part of: Valleyspeak contest: Coin a word, win $240 of music [Valleywag]

Valleyspeak: Last call for fake words

ndouglas — Wed, 12 Apr 2006 20:29:17 EDT

More readers jumped into the Valleyspeak Contest, coining words for the Valley and tech world. A moment of silence, please, for the English language. May it rest in peace.

Dis-topia: Your friend lands a job at Dis-topia, a big internet company with a celebrity chef, free coffee, haircuts, valet parking, foosball etc. Then they smugly stop returning your calls. [Jo Miller]

Goofled: When someone confesses (usually after a few drinks) that they flubbed a job interview at Google before the IPO. [Jo Miller]

Histeria: Excessive or uncontrollable emotion exhibited by male geeks when: (1) entering Fry's, (2) describing a new Web 2.0 company, and/or (3) blogging about Foo Camp. (see related verb "to ajax off") [S. E. August]

Goobris: The arrogance exhibited by many in the Valley, especially those that believe "the geek shall inherit the Earth." [S. E. August]

Ringtone rage: Violent behavior exhibited by cubicle dwellers, brought about by hearing their colleagues' ringtones repeatedly. [S. E. August]

Aspergered: state resulting from pouring a lot of time and energy into an obsessive hobby or project, usually pointless to outsiders. [Arnaud Hubert]

Goodwag: obsolete schwag, usually from defunct companies, that will likely end up being given to charities. [Arnaud Hubert]

Powerpoint software: Strategy,product and services that only exist, and may always exist, in a Powerpoint presentation. But hey, do not expect me to execute! [Clark]

BILF: Blogger i'd like to f***. As hot as MILF, except probably younger, and smart enough to blog. [Dan Tam]

Blogna sandwich: Reading blogs on a lunchbreak. [Jim Frost]

Bukkottke: Copious amounts of daily links that leave you feeling as if you're drowning in information. [Tony S]

Petrified Blog: Oh-so-silly habit of (typically) large-company people cutting and pasting discussions out of a blog, and then emailing that around, soliciting comment. [Ed Moran]

You have the rest of the night to send in your neologisms. I'll pick the best tomorrow morning for a voting round. Winner gets $240 on iTunes and a cord wrapper for the iPod (you DO have one, right?)

Earlier words: Prelims 1, Prelims 2, Prelims 3 [Valleywag]
Part of: Valleyspeak Contest: Coin a word, win $240 of music [Valleywag]