Courtenay Semel, for those who are not familiar with her heiress-level fameballing, is not a shy and retiring person. A person does not make out with her attention-craving girlfriend Tila Tequila on red carpets because she mistrusts the media; a person does not scream at a club bouncer to "just fucking Google me, you dumb fuck" because she mistrusts the media; and a person certainly does not "joke" to a magazine reporter that "I'm kind of like the Don Juan of the lesbian world," as Semel did with Curve, because she mistrusts the media.

So it's odd that Semel would tell Curve that the "media kind of ruined that relationship" she had with Lindsay Lohan by saying the pair were dating. Semel added: "I can't even have a best friend because I guess I'm going to be linked with them next." But maybe she also can't have friends because she gives underminey quotes about them, like this one, from the new interview:

I think, you know, everyone scrutinizes, Lindsay for everything she went through, but they should thank her, because it shows you exactly what not to do.

That's a fairly cutting quote considering that Lohan has yet to enter rehab per Semel's urging. Of course, when Semel only went to rehab herself after her dad cut off access to the trust fund, something she left out of her little zinger. Semel, it would seem, grasps the advantages of strategic oversharing as well as the rest of her internet-bred generation; if only daddy Terry had been so savvy, Yahoo might be in a better place today.

[via People]

(Semel with heiress Casey Johnson this past May, top, via INF; Semel-Tequila pic, lower, via x17online.com)

She's headed to rehab, Page Six reports, using a cover her ex Lindsay Lohan would appreciate: Exhaustion, which Lohan used to claim crippled her on movie sets (before she was arrested for cocaine possession).

A rep for Semel tells us, "Courtenay has indeed checked into rehab . . . She's emotionally, physically and mentally exhausted.

There's no question this "exhaustion" bug has been going around; it sent Heather Locklear into an Arizona treatment facility last year, around the time Kirsten Dunst sought rehab for, uh, depression.

It's hard to tell what left Semel more tired out: Allegedly punching that security guard in Las Vegas, purportedly setting girlfriend and fellow heiress Casey Johnson's hair on fire (a charge Semel denies) or working on that reality show.

Actually, none of the above: Our money's on "trying to live for a month without access to daddy's money." Talk about exhausting.

He also won't answer her phone calls, she told the New York Post. "I don't want to be known for all this craziness in my life," said Courtenay. Nor, presumably, does Terry. A recap of her adventures:

• Had a public dalliance with Lindsay Lohan, the actress's first known same-sex relationship.
• Fought with ex Casey Johnson, who said Courtenay set fire to her hair, a claim she denies.
• Dated MySpace fameball Tila Tequila (they were last seen smooching in December).
• Told a security guard at Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas to "just f—-ing Google me, you dumb f—-."

That off-brand moment in Vegas may have been the last straw for Terry. Now Courtenay's on her own — a conveniently dramatic plot point in the reality show she's working on!

The dotcom heiress is best known for being Lindsay Lohan's first same-sex fling, before the actress hooked up with Sam Ronson and Semel moved on to Tequila. (She's also got a violent streak, and swears like a venture capitalist!) She showed up at a Los Angeles Borders for a book signing to promote Hooking Up With Tila Tequila. (With that title, shouldn't Semel herself have been the author?)

Socialite Life has a clip that's sure to leave you diabetic. "She's not here to beat up any fans," Tequila explains. "I'm just here to get my book signed," says Semel. Then they coo and hug and kiss, all for the cameras. Interviewed alone, Semel says she attended the event "to support my girlfriend" and that "she couldn't put the book down, for somebody with, like, major ADD problems ..." ADD problems? It's a mystery why her dad never got her a job at Yahoo. She would have fit right in.

Gossip column Page Six spotted Tequila "hooking up" with Justin Long, best known for his role as a Mac in Apple commercials, at a Vegas nightclub on Halloween. Will the Mac preference stick? Who knows, but according the a New York Post spy, Long reportedly "asked her [Tequila] to straddle him while making out." What would John Hodgman have to say about this? (Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images for Cirque du Soleil)

"At the time she was terrified her career would be over if she revealed her sexual tendencies," Courtenay told this "friend," who also says that "Courtenay still can't understand how Lindsay is now so open with [her current live-in girlfriend] Samantha [Ronson]," says the pal. "Every time she sees a picture of them together it kills her." Take heart, Courtenay. Daddy feels the same way about MySpace cuddling up with News Corp. At least you've got Tila Tequila. (Photos by AP and Getty)

At one stage, the friend added, both Courtenay and Samantha were separately visiting Lindsay at a rehab unit called Promises.

The pal went on: “By now Lindsay was sending ‘I love you’ notes to Samantha and signing them ‘Lindsay Ronson’ but telling Courtenay she loved her too."

By October, Courtenay appeared to have the upper hand. She and Lindsay moved into a rented house in Beverly Hills. “But still Lindsay brought men back,” the pal added. “Courtenay would throw fits of rage, writing her hundreds of angry e-mails from another room in the house.

“The sexual attraction between them was electric though and they’d still kiss and make up."

Eventually, Semel moved out and Lohan ended up with with Ronson. In this light, Semel's makeout with Tequila could be seen as kind of a sad attempt to get attention from her long-rumored ex.

The truly sad part of the tabloid report, though, is its assertion that Lohan devolved into drug addiction amid her relationship with Semel because she didn't know how to cope with her lesbianism. Her father Michael, from whom she is estranged, is a devout Christian and skittish about homosexuality, which might have left Lohan without a support network. Against this backdrop, Lohan's recent defacto coming out looks both genuine and necessary for her health.

[News Of The World]

WHICH wild child daughter of an Internet billionaire has major problems? The lady-loving gal has been to rehab twice and still doesn't show any sign of slowing down.

Sure, Semel made a ton of money prior to Yahoo as CEO of Warner Bros. But to be an Internet billionaire, Semel would have had to made a billion dollars off Internet stocks, right? Not even close: In 2004 and 2005, while Yahoo shares were rallying, Semel sold $403 million worth of Yahoo stock. Since then, he's made about $60 million by exercising options and selling shares. He now owns 1.6 million shares in the company, whose shares are trading at $24. Forbes doesn't even include him on its list of billionaires. Our conclusion? When we run blind items about him, we're going to call Semel the "non-Internet nonbillionaire."