Wow, you hate me! You really, really hate me! I have to say, I'm truly humbled by this honor. As everyone knows, achieving something like this is a group effort, so I want thank everyone over at Gawker and Valleywag, especially Emily Gould and Owen Thomas, you sexy bitches!

I couldn't have done it without you! I want to thank my agent, who has been with me since I was just mildly annoying. I also want to send a special thank you to all the Gawker media commenters, especially those who incessantly referenced my sluttiness, STDs, propensity to gold-dig, show cleavage, and simultaneously say stupid shit! Of course I want to thank my self-promotional narcissism and my incessant desire for infamy at any costs. Thank you so, so much. Last but not least, I want to thank Nick Denton and God. That may or may not be redundant. THANK YOU! Goodnight!