Novelist and journalist Lev Grossman really needs a computer backup strategy. Sounds like a consultation with massive computer nerd Susan Orlean is in order.

Just when CNN's Larry King thinks he understands The Twitter it... does... THIS! Oy.

If you weren't such a psycho about making friends on Facebook, the Washington Post's Rob Pegoraro might still be your friend on Facebook.

The definition of Bridezilla: When someone like the Daily Post's Debbie James would rather be followed by "rapist killer" than by your wedding-research Twitter account.

Demi Moore can't wait for you to get your "Being a Terrible Paparazzo in Public" ticket from the police. That's like eight million points on your DMV record, punk.

Did you witness the media elite tweet something indiscreet? Please email us your favorite tweets - or send us more Twitter usernames.

Demi says he pushes kiddie porn. Perez says she's a bad mother and he's gonna sue her. All the fuss is over some pictures that Perez linked to some pictures on his Twitter account of Tallulah Willis (also daughter of actor, Bruce) partying in a very revealing blouse. If you really need to see it, it's here.

Demi opened with a salvo that failed to explain just what her 15-year-old daughter was doing at a Cobrasnake-documented party in the first place:

Clearly Perez Hilton isn't taking violating child pornography laws very seriously. He might not but there are alot of people who do!...Anyone who advertises follows or supports Perez supports violating child pornography laws!...Let me ask all of you, what is it called when someone is telling people to look and focus on a child's "boobs & ass" while providing photos?

Perez responded by taking the moral highground, a dubious tactic for a fellow who made a name for himself by drawing cum on celebrity pictures:

And thanks for drawing MORE attention to your daughter's behavior and your parenting skills (or lack thereof). U r real smart!...Still waiting for you to retract your incorrect, libelous and defamatory statements...I would not let my 15 year old daughter dress like that under ANY context. You are delusional and slightly senile!

Yes, it was in bad taste to post them, Perez, but it's hard to take Demi's sanctimonious claims seriously (her last tweet reads, "This is not a game . Children should not be exploited. They must be protected.") when she allowed her daughter to go to the party in the first place. And Perez just keeps baiting her. Even moral compass Heidi Montag has weighed in! So, why don't you two put down the smart phones, pick up some common sense, and give it a rest. You're making Tallulah look like the sane one here!

Former Gawkerette and current New York, um, magette? Jessica Coen is heeding her vagina's siren calls to dash herself on the rocks of He's Just Not That Into You.

Actor Ashton Kutcher thinks God is washing Los Angeles because it is raining. Any in-the-know third grader could correctly inform him that rain means that God is, in fact, peeing on Los Angeles.

And peeing all over Ashton's main squeeze Demi Moore, and her daughters.

The New York Times's Brian Stelter is traveling to Trenton. He will be missed.

Former Huffington Poster Rachel Sklar thinks she's made it in Hollywood. She is actually being peed on by God.

Assuming, that is, that "time for bed, it's a school night!" is a joke about Kutcher's relative youth. Points to Moore, also, for the dorky old picture of herself.

Notice, below, that Moore is already using the microblogging service to connect with a range of new and interesting people. Like her stylist.