*permission to collect picture books, sense of superiority, androgyny

There's a new betting pool going on in our office: who will 37signals compare themselves to this week?

Two weeks ago it was: Project Runway, the Jitterbug Phone, Tufte, Gandhi, Einstein, Martin Luther King, 50 Cent, Hugo Chavez, Steve Jobs, Dieter Rams, Jonathan Ive, and Michael Gondry, all of whom apparently "got real."

This week was Tony Bennett, the Japanese, Linus Torvalds, Google, and Bill Ford.

My prediction for this week: Oprah, hotcakes, roller skates, Dean Martin.

My bet's on Bono, Skype, cardboard baby books, and Cirque de Soleil. What's yours?

At a recent party at Yahoo, a friend from the company told me that he'd recently visited Google.com. He wanted to use one of Google's less popular products, so he clicked "more," a link that used to lead to Google's product list. Instead, he got the little menu above, offering just three more options along with an "even more" link.

My friend, who's seen the operation behind Yahoo's complex home page, wasn't surprised. His response: "Now they know."

Ever so humble [Washington Post]

For three years — ever since my son Ben was in fifth grade — he and I have...searched for a simple and straightforward way to get the introductory programming language BASIC to run on either my Mac or my PC....Because if you want to give young students a grounding in how computers actually work, there's still nothing better than a little experience at line-by-line programming.

Only, quietly and without fanfare, or even any comment or notice by software pundits, we have drifted into a situation where almost none of the millions of personal computers in America offers a line-programming language simple enough for kids to pick up fast.

Duh, that's why Johnny learned CSS instead and now trolls for web design jobs. Get with it and get online, Dad.

Why Johnny can't code [Salon]

Your mission is to create a worksafe stylesheet for Valleywag. Mimic spreadsheets, lines of code, anything that looks like work, not gossip, from across the room. Make a plug-and-play stylesheet for the main site or XML feed. Send your files, or a link to a working model, to tips@valleywag.com.

We'll show all working submissions on Valleywag. The best hide-a-wag (picked by the editor) gets hosted on Valleywag, and the winner gets the 4x5 Wacom tablet pictured above.

Designers and weekend stylesheet kiddies, have at it! Give working readers an excuse for laughing. "Sorry, boss. Python control flow statements just crack me up sometimes. You want to try a couple?"

Prize: Intuos3 4x5 tablet [Wacom]
Inspired by: Man fired for laughing at Valleywag [Valleywag]

• Bloglines founder Mark Fletcher is leaving the RSS reader and diving into the conference scene. You'll probably — ugh — see him on a panel soon. [Personal blog]
• Brent Woodward is headed to prison. The exec from San Jose hardware company Lightwave Microsystems got two years for selling a backup tape full of his employer's trade secrets, joining the throngs of guys throughout history who got in trouble for indiscreet mix tapes. [Mercury News]
• Chicago-based superstar dev house 37signals is getting shot for an Apple Pro profile video (part of a series about sexy people using Apple stuff). [IM tip]
• And according to a Time Inc. press release, one of Wired's senior editors is moving to Fortune. Everybody else getting booted in the Wired staff shuffle had best get their game plans straight. [E-mail]

I don't link to videos on sites that look like they might not be able to handle the bandwidth...I don't want to be responsible for anyone's monster end-of-the-month bandwidth bill. The denizens of Slashdot are gleeful about taking down people's servers; I am not.

Maybe Kottke traffic can take down a personal blog or two. But for the record, only 210 web sites are more popular than Slashdot (according to Alexa). Over 12,000 (again, Alexa) are more popular than Kottke.org.

Jason Kottke [Leahpeah interview]

• Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer in the San Francisco Chronicle: "I'm going to want to have intelligence in my pocket." Or he's just happy to see you. [SF Chron]
• Word is that Ballmer's gonna get fired. Guess those "big, bold bets" fucked the deck. [Ars Technica]
• Are javascript reflections the new blink tag? [Neondragon.net]
• Google's business founder, Omid Kordestani in 2004, advised an audience of businesswomen: "Measure everything." At a record-breaking 2005 compensation of $289 million, is Omid overcompensating for something? [Mercury News]
• What was Dave Winer doing in Amsterdam's red light district? [Scripting.com]
• The London Times dives deep into the life of arrested Gizmondo ex-exec Carl Freer — yes, he's so much more than the dude hanging with Ferrari-crasher Stefan Eriksson. [London Times]
• Pictured: Google Smile. [Office Pirates]

But wait, wasn't that a good development? Wasn't hate-on-Michael time when everyone bitched about Rachel's design? Did I miss a memo?

Okay, let's go over the timeline:

• May 12: TechCrunch redesigns. Michael Arrington's blog post about the redesign credits Cunliffe for all the good bits and himself for all the bad bits — the usual gentlemanly approach to intro-ing contracted work.
• May 13: Michael Arrington arrives in Zaragoza, Spain after a harried week of replacing his passport, discovering a Spanish dialect he hadn't learned, missing a train, and driving halfway across the Iberian Peninsula.
• May 12-13: Arrington's personal blog, CrunchNotes, spawns a comment thread full of redesign criticism.
• May 15: Arrington posts Jeremy Baines' mock-up (not mockery) of a different TechCrunch redesign. Arrington says he'll steal some ideas. One presumes he'll run these through his designer.
• May 15 (marked 16): Cunliffe resigns. On her blog. Michael doesn't find out until he sees a trackback.
• May 16: Pile-on-Michael time again! Designer Chris Pearson posts the most scathing (and pretty) tear-down.
• May 16: Michael Arrington is fed up, dammit.

And why not? Anywhere else, this would get spun as a pissy designer letting her ego show. But no, no, we've all gotta tromp on Mike, right? Look, the gossip columnist who tries to find out if Arrington's getting laid (prognosis: likely) shouldn't be the one standing up for him. But, well, someone's gotta keep this bubble going, and it'd suck to see Mike quit TechCrunch because of some whiny design wonks.

I'm an Asshole, and other breaking news. [CrunchNotes]

pakoolicio.us [Official site]