Screenwriter Diablo Cody, a/k/a Brook Busey, could not get with the program w/r/t today's internet awesomeness.

Television doctor Drew Pinksy engaged in some self-inflicted distress, at the airport. Worrisome.

Don't you know who CNN's TJ Holmes is, department story lady? Not your peon.

Actress Erika Christensen seeks man to receive home-cooked meals. Line forms to the left. In her Twitter stream.

In an obvious bid for attention, Mashable's Ben Parr called a feature he not only read, but also tweeted, "lazy" ....as if that were a bad thing!

Did you witness the media elite tweet something indiscreet? Please email us your favorite tweets - or send us more Twitter usernames.

Gourmet Editor Ruth Reichl took a moment to tweet as she packed up her office, made redundant by Condé Nast.

The guy behind I Can Has Cheezburger offered to take over — err, "Haz" — Reichl's magazine.

Diablo Cody got maternal in her own unique way.

Joy Behar might be late to the Letterman scandal, but she'll make up for it by being pun-ny.

Nilay Patel of Engadget simply wants the day's tech news to actually be new. Is that so much to ask?

Did you witness the media elite tweet something indiscreet? Please email us your favorite tweets - or send us more Twitter usernames.

Singer Jessica Simpson's missing dog might as well be her actual human baby, the baby she inadvertently fed to coyotes.

Kirstie Alley, the actress and Scientologist, has been hoodwinked into spending exorbitant amounts of money to achieve arbitrary nonsensical goals inside a made-up world created expressly for the purpose of separating people from their money. Go figure.

Mark Glaser, PBS' media critic, didn't know the power of his own tweets.

Diablo Cody craved a long-delayed three way with Ben & Jerry.

CNN's Situation Room has finally been hooked up to Twitter, as Wolf Blitzer joins the microblogging service. Finally, someone has brought a rapid, disjointed discussion of the news cycle to Twitter.

Did you witness the media elite tweet something indiscreet? Please email us your favorite tweets - or send us more Twitter usernames.

Actress Diablo Cody is so badly addicted to cultural references, she can't stop dropping them, on Twitter even, about her own therapy, even. (We'd suggest counseling, but that would apparently just feed the cycle.)

CNET's Rafe Needleman scolded his inner geek, via his outer geek.

News anchor Rick Sanchez actually apologized for the lack of savage physical violence on CNN. ABOUT TIME.

Joe Randazzo, Onion editor, questioned the ethics of New York Times, actual serious newspaper. And he had a point!

LA Weekly's Alexia Tsotsis, recently of Gawker, found Nikki Finke's tech coverage highly inappropriate.

Did you witness the media elite tweet something indiscreet? Please email us your favorite tweets - or send us more Twitter usernames.

Juno scribe Diablo Cody talked about dicks.

Washington Post tech reporter Rob Pegoraro discussed his email habits.

Gourmet editor Ruth Reichl discomfited everyone who hadn't realized she was dressed up as Gene Simmons.

Chicago Sun-Times D.C. bureau chief Lynn Sweet fed our Michelle Obama obsession.

Today Show videoblog correspondent Sara Haines looked forward to puppies.

Did you witness the media elite tweet something indiscreet? Please email us your favorite tweets — or send us more Twitter usernames.

• Don't say anything that might just as well be said in an email, i.e. "I'm sorry Steve, it's going to have to be $37."
• Don't forget how many people are listening. For example, do not say: "Oops, hope nobody notices the smell."
• Don't follow people you've never met. Exception: Diablo Cody.
• Don't follow Jason Calacanis.
• Don't add too many followers too fast. Like any dangerous recreational narcotic, one has to build one's tolerance before ignoring the Surgeon General's warnings.
• Don't expect timely and informative responses to your Twittered queries. Or for anyone to read them. Twitter is a heat sink for the unexpressed ego.
• Don't Twitter things that would be better said in person. Example: "@George, No, I won't marry you. It's the halitosis."
• Don't try to share your political, religious or business views in 140 characters. It takes more words to obfuscate how simple and derivative they are.
• Don't follow Robert Scoble.
• Don't follow bloggers who write about Twitter just to have an excuse to include a link to their Twitter account. They will bombard you with links to their blog posts, because they are paid by pageviews.