<![CDATA[Gawker: valleywag, dilbert]]> http://tags.gawker.com/assets/base/img/thumbs140x140/gawker.com.png <![CDATA[Gawker: valleywag, dilbert]]> http://gawker.com/tag/valleywag/dilbert http://gawker.com/tag/valleywag/dilbert <![CDATA[Marissa Mayer, the 21st Century's Pointy-Haired Boss]]> "Scarcity brings clarity," says Marissa Mayer, the blonde cyborg who runs Google's search engine, in a BusinessWeek interview. She makes fun of Dilbert-style managers — but in reality, she shows how she's turned into one.

Mayer, a striking Midwestern blonde with a nerdy laugh, was employee No. 20 at Google, and she eagerly grabbed authority as she rose from engineer to director to vice president. (Google is stingy with titles, so an executive slot there is vastly harder to get than at, say, a bank, where even a branch manager can be a VP.)

But what, exactly, does she do? She works long hours, she tells interviewers. But it's not clear what she spends her time on. Spreadsheets of cupcake recipes? Employees report that she's famous for not preparing for meetings, making spur-of-the-moment decisions on products based on five-minute presentations.

And how does she make her decisions? Based on the "user experience," which pretty much means whatever Mayer thinks is right. Oh, sure, she goes through mounds of data — but anyone who's worked with spreadsheets knows there's always a way to make the numbers say what you want them to say.

Sadly, Google has become the icon of businesspeople everywhere, even as its brand fades with consumers. They see the billions of profits its search-advertising monopoly generates, and figure executives like Mayer must be smart rather than lucky.

So get ready to hear "scarcity brings clarity" when your budget is cut, and "user experience" cited as the reason when your project is cancelled. From your boss's mouth, they'll be insincere canards, repeated rotely as the buzzwords of the moment. But were they that freighted with meaning when Mayer first said them?

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<![CDATA[Dilbert buys into Web 2.0, now fully buzzword compliant]]> Cube-dwelling funny pages favorite "Dilbert" from Scott Adams has a redesigned website, sporting the now-ubiquitous "beta" label, offering widgets and buying into the user-generated content fad — you can now create "mashups" and work out your own corporate-minion frustrations within the confines of speech bubbles. [CNET]

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<![CDATA[Second Life's killer app is kicking Dilbert in the crotch]]> dogbert.pngScott Adams, the cartoonist behind Dilbert, has discovered the proper use for Second Life. During a "virtual booksigning," which seems to defeat the purpose, Adams invited fans to kick him in his virtual crotch, which is what passive-aggressive Second Lifers want to do to famous people anyway. I'm so glad Al Gore invented the Internet. This is going to change everything. Catch the video after the jump.

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<![CDATA["There is nothing more frustrating than writing...]]> "There is nothing more frustrating than writing a perfect sentence and not being able to publish it. That's why I love having this blog. Otherwise, it's just me and the cat having a laugh at how witty I could have been. And it's creepy when the cat laughs because I can never be sure we're laughing at the same thing." — Dilbert cartoonist Scott Adams on dirty words in comic strips. [The Dilbert Blog]

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