Thousands of Yahoo employees have been waiting months to find out if they're going to be laid off. Today they'll know for sure when their managers say the magic words.

Yahoo's script for performing the layoff begins when the boss walks up to an employee getting the sack. And then he says, "Thank you, [FIRST NAME HERE], for coming in. I have some information regarding our organization I'd like to tell you in person." The anodyne managementspeak just gets worse from there: "I appreciate what you have done for Yahoo."

We don't think Yahoo's layoff procedures are worse than any other big corporation's. Instead, they're depressingly ordinary for a company which once promised to reinvent the media business. Here's how the doomed will find out they no longer Yahoo:

Bohner, a former journalist and TV personality who was once briefly married to author Michael Lewis, took up with the married Schmidt last year while she was living and working in south Florida. Since then, Schmidt "paid her an ungodly amount of money" to relocate her business, Kate Bohner Productions, to Los Angeles; she set up shop on Pacific Avenue in Venice, Calif. He's been spending the occasional weekend with her, flying down from the Bay Area on Thursday and leaving Saturday, staying at the Beverly Hills Hotel. (Schmidt saw her twice in October and at least once in November.)

But besides paying for the move and buying Bohner a new set of diamond earrings on every trip, Schmidt, whose net worth has been estimated at $6 billion, hasn't been forthcoming with cash. He attended a meeting at Bohner's firm to get pitched on funding a new $1 million documentary show. It sounds like he didn't bite, because Bohner's said to be losing her job.

Will Schmidt set Bohner up with a job at Google, as he did with a previous girlfriend, PR exec Marcy Simon? Bohner has told people she's already been working for Google — for free. She's been writing executive summaries about Google's push into the cell-phone market, work she estimates she could have billed at $250,000.

So why is Schmidt being so cheap? It's possible he's nervous about bad publicity that could come from leaving a money trail. He's said to have an arrangement with his wife Wendy, but she may not appreciate having the name of Schmidt's girlfriend make the headlines. So why doesn't he buddy up with some other media mogul and get them to fund Bohner's company on the sly? Ah, there's the rub: Schmidt has been so aggressively unlikeable in his dealings with other media CEOs that he doesn't have any chits to cash in.

It's been a grindingly frustrating comedown for what was once the preeminent brand on the Web. Microsoft offered to buy Yahoo for $45 billion in February; the company is now worth a third of that. Miller would pay $28 billion to $30 billion for Yahoo, if he can raise that sum from sovereign wealth funds, the investment pools run by cash-flush Middle Eastern and Asian governments. They are understandably skittish at the idea of paying twice the going rate for a stake in Yahoo.

The notion is that Miller would run the show, and thereby make money for his investors. Fired as AOL's CEO in 2006, Miller has been rehabilitating his reputation as an investor ever since. (He's been amply helped by his replacement, former NBC executive Randy Falco, who has proved to be a thoroughly useless corporate stooge.) But Miller did not demonstrate at AOL what Yahoo so desperately needs: a keen product vision, and a ruthless determination to get his way with dithering engineers.

It's pathetic, really, that Yahoo hasn't yet been sold or found a CEO to replace hapless founder Jerry Yang. The company's traffic is still immense. And it's big in Japan! Someone, somewhere ought to think that Yahoo is worth saving. That Miller is the best Yahoo can find speaks volumes

It's not for lack of trying. Silicon Valley's stock-options millionaire make money by getting the right to buy shares at a low price and selling them for a higher one. Facebook's soaring valuation — Microsoft invested $240 million for a tiny stake, in a deal which valued all of Facebook at $15 billion — threatened to undo that equation. How is Facebook supposed to soar past $15 billion in value? So Zuckerberg & Co. turned to issuing restricted stock units, or RSUs, instead. (Restricted stock units are common at large companies like Google and Microsoft, but unusual for a company Facebook's size and age.)

The restricted-stock plan has created a new complication: Once it has more than 500 RSU holders, SEC regulations may require Facebook to start publishing its financials, even if it doesn't conduct an initial public offering. Facebook's revenues still aren't pretty enough for public exposure.

Facebook's lawyers have sought, and obtained, an exemption. Part of the argument they made is that issuing RSUs won't create a market in Facebook shares.

Facebook, unusually for most of Silicon Valley's private companies, has not had many restrictions on what employees and other shareholders could do with the shares they own. Most have rules that force shareholders to offer shares to the company first — a right of first refusal — or outright prohibitions on unauthorized sales.

But the letter Facebook sent to the SEC says that even when the stock units convert to common shares, they have limits on their sale: "... the Plan has been structured to preclude any trading of RSUs or any interest therein from developing." Even if Facebook permits an employee convert their stock units to shares and sell them, the company can then prevent the buyer from selling.

Employees at Facebook — especially the early ones, whose holdings are now substantial — have been agitating for some time to sell their shares, and there are still, even with the public markets taking a beating, interested buyers. Zuckerberg finally bowed to this pressure and set up a program, now underway, to let employees cash out up to $900,000 in shares. (Note the symbolism of the figure: No one will become a millionaire.)

But that may be it. If Facebook extends its stock-sale restrictions to common shares, not just the restricted-stock units, both employees and the investors so eager to snap up their shares will be stuck, until Facebook sells out or goes public. Zuckerberg has made it clear he thinks both of those events are far off — and the 24-year-old CEO still owns 27 percent of the company and more or less controls the board.

It's a dicey gamble. The prospect of selling Facebook shares privately must surely have attracted some employees who counted on a relatively quick cash-out. But shutting down the prospect of further stock sales will make sure the Facebookers who remain will be more committed to the company for the long haul.

Zuckerberg doesn't have much choice. As long as Facebook employees can find buyers for their shares, they'll be tempted to leave rather than stay at a company going through a tumultous adolescence.

Already, the company has had far more turnover, from bottom to top, than Google did. Not a single high-ranking exec left Google for the first six years of its existence. Facebook has lost three of its four cofounders, and numerous people underneath them, from former COO Owen Van Natta on down. No wonder Zuckerberg wants to slam the exit door closed.

I saw Sergey Brin (in all his blaze red-orange Croc glory) eating outside the Marya Cafe in the Melchor pavilion. After he was done eating he ran across the street towards the Orchard pavilion which is the maternity ward for El Camino hospital in Mountain View.

Brin and Wojcicki drew notice for the way they got married in May 2007 in the Bahamas, swimming to the sandbar. But they also got attention for the way they handled a conflict of interest; Brin lent 23andMe his own money to start up, and then Google repaid the loan and became an investor. The company's board approved the deal, but it has never lost the appearance of self-dealing.

In what quirky way will they celebrate the birth not just of their first child, but the first member of the great Google dynasty? In Japan, the successor to the throne was greeted with shouts of "Banzai!"

But we suspect Brin will be more low-key. Perhaps he will order up a new doodle for Google's homepage. We'll let you know as soon as we know more about this momentous occasion — the advent of the generation which will save us from the mistakes of the Google era.

What rank hypocrisy! Where's the blame for tapping Yang for the job in the first place? For not pushing him out sooner? And for that matter, for not having a hot-swappable substitute in the executive ranks when Hollywood dude Terry Semel abruptly quit last year? Those are all grave transgressions to which Yahoo's directors ought to confess.

Chairman Roy Bostock should be first out the door. An old-school adman ridiculed within Yahoo as an "empty suit," Bostock has added nothing to the company. And he shredded any remaining credibility by brazenly lying to Newsweek about Jerry Yang's status as CEO, saying he was firmly ensconced in the job even as the board discussed his ouster.

Add to the list investors Ron Burkle, Gary Wilson, and Art Kern, whose ouster I called for earlier this year. Can anyone say what Yahoo has gotten from their collective 26 years on the board?

Corporate raider Carl Icahn, too, should make his stay on Yahoo's board brief and symbolic, a prize won for waging a fierce battle with Yahoo management over its failure to sell the company to Microsoft. He may have been right about Microsoft, but I can't believe he has the company's long-term interests at heart.

And Jerry Yang, who has been allowed to keep his board seat, should resign it. Yahoo needs a clean break from his mismanagement; a lingering presence will only hurt the company he professes to love.

Whoever Yahoo picks as its next CEO should make a priority of mucking out the boardroom; candidates for the job should demand that these six directors offer their resignation before they sign on the bottom line. Otherwise, the job will be untenable.

The rest of the board I'd recommend Yahoo's next CEO keep, at least for the time being. Frank Biondi and John Chapple are too new to pass judgment on; venture capitalist Eric Hippeau and Hewlett-Packard executive Vyomesh Joshi actually have knowledge of the marketplace that's valuable to Yahoo; and telecom exec Maggie Wilderotter is a credible candidate to step in as Yahoo's CEO, should the board choose one of its own.

There are, nevertheless, some possibilities.

One is former eBay CEO Meg Whitman, who has been toying with entering politics. eBay and Yahoo have long flirted with a merger, so she's reasonably familiar with the company, and with the challenges of running a large Internet company.

A similar candidate: Jon Miller, the former CEO of AOL, who is now a partner at Velocity Interactive Group, a venture-capital firm. Money is tight in venture capital, and Velocity has yet to raise a promised new fund in the multiple hundreds of millions of dollars it had planned for when he joined it. Yet Miller has a problem: Time Warner, the parent of AOL, used his noncompete agreement to prevent him from joining Yahoo's board; it's not clear why they would waive it to let him become CEO. The agreement does not expire until next spring.

News Corp. COO Peter Chernin does not seem to have much hope of succeeding Rupert Murdoch as CEO, who is expected to hand the media conglomerate over to one of his children instead. But he does not have a credible claim for having much online experience — overseeing MySpace is the best he can do there.

And lastly, as a courtesy, Yahoo's president, Sue Decker, is under consideration. Some say Decker's Machiavellian maneuverings helped out former Hollywood studio boss Terry Semel as CEO last summer. But she's seen inside and outside the company as a bad manager who lacks a vision for what Yahoo should be.

More:

• 5 reasons why Jerry Yang is done at Yahoo
• Jerry Yang's goodbye letter to Yahoo
• Yahoos quietly cheer Yang's exit
• Newsweek reporter: Yahoo PR "lying sacks of s—-"

Ok, sad thing first: a good Samaritan reset the password and tried to alert Sarah. But he also posted the new password, causing multiple people to try to log in at once, freezing the account for 24 hours. And now, the account has been deleted! Which is, as we said, maybe destruction of evidence? So for now this is, we think, all we'll get to see from this email account (if anyone finds evidence of saved emails, let us know.)

The full timeline of events, with corroborating evidence of the legitimacy of these screengrabs, is here. Here's why it all looks convincing:

• The emails to Ivy Frye, a Palin aide who's mentioned in the earlier email stories specifically wondering how best to hide her correspondence with the governor.
• The attached contact list (below) features an email address for husband Todd Palin that is legit. As well as an apparently genuine phone number for Bristol Palin and an address for Beth Leschper, Palin's deputy communications director.
• The email from Amy McCorkell, a known associate of Palin's from Wasilla who might have the governor's personal email address.
• Emails to and from Lt Governor Sean Parnell about a local radio talk host.
• Calls to the phone number listed for Bristol Palin apparently go to her voicemail.
• The public profile for the gov.palin address dates its last update to April of this year—well before she became McCain's running mate. So if it's a hoax, it's a hoax that began long before anyone outside of Alaska cared about Palin.
• We haven't seen these family photos before. Have we?
• The previously accessible public profiles for gov.sarah@yahoo and gov.palin@yahoo were both deleted at the same time.

Here are the screenshots of the emails saved before the account went dark, along with the contact list. It's newsworthy and we will not be taking it down!

CONTACT LIST

Beth Leschper (Beth Leschper SOA) [Edit]
beth.leschper@alaska.gov
Blanche Kallstrom (Blanche) [Edit]
mbkrdk@starband.net
Bristol Palin (Bristol) [Edit]
bristol_palin@hotmail.com
Chuck Heath (Chuck) [Edit]
chckheath@yahoo.com
fek9wnr@yahoo.com (Todd) [Edit]
fek9wnr@yahoo.com
ftb907@yahoo.com (Frank) [Edit]
ftb907@yahoo.com
Heather Bruce (Heather) [Edit]
khbruce@gci.net
ivy.frye@alaska.gov (Ivy SOA) [Edit]
ivy.frye@alaska.gov
ivyfrye@yahoo.com (Ivy Personal) [Edit]
ivyfrye@yahoo.com
Judy Patrick (Judy Patrick) [Edit]
jpphoto@mtaonline.net
kris.perry@alaska.gov (Kris Perry SOA) [Edit]
kris.perry@alaska.gov
krisandclark@yahoo.com (Kris Personal) [Edit]
krisandclark@yahoo.com
paymckhea@yahoo.com (Molly) [Edit]
paymckhea@yahoo.com
Roseanne Hughes (Roseanne Hughes SOA) [Edit]
roseanne.hughes@alaska.gov
Sally Heath (Mom) [Edit]
salheath@mtaonline.net
Sean Parnell (Sean Personal) [Edit]
sparnell@alaska.com
Sharon Leighow (Sharon SOA) [Edit]
sharon.leighow@alaska.gov
Sleighow@aol.com (Sharon Leighow Personal) [Edit]
Sleighow@aol.com
Track Palin (Track) [Edit]
track_44@hotmail.com

UPDATE:

ARLINGTON, VA — Today, McCain-Palin 2008 Campaign Manager Rick Davis issued the following statement concerning reports about Governor Palin's email and an invasion of privacy:
"This is a shocking invasion of the Governor's privacy and a violation of law. The matter has been turned over to the appropriate authorities and we hope that anyone in possession of these emails will destroy them. We will have no further comment."

Point one: legitimacy confirmed! Point two: I guess we'll have to blow up the internet now?