9:00 P.M. Under Route 101.
It is nightfall. The almost-silhouetted gangs come in from separate sides: climbing over the fences or crawling through holes in the walls. There is silence as they fan out on opposite sides of the cleared space. Then one of the Yahoos' Sidekicks rings, and they really have to take this call, so everyone waits and a few Googlers check in on Dodgeball.

Stewart Butterfield of the Hoos and Eric Case of the Googs remove their jackets, handing them to their seconds: Joshua Schachter and Jason Shellen.

BUTTERFIELD: Ready.

CASE: Ready!

SHELLEN: Wait, I totally have to moblog this.

JEFF WEINER: The rules are clear: Our best man versus your best man.

TERRY SEMEL jumps over the fence.

TERRY: Hold it!

BUTTERFIELD: Get with the gang.

CASE: Maybe he has found the guts to fight his own battles.

TERRY [with billionaire smile]: It doesn't take guts if you have a battle. But we haven't got one, 'Caseo.

CASE: El Caseo.

TERRY: I wanted to tell you all — I'm in love with a girl named Marissa!

A rumble breaks out. In the commotion, Butterfield goes down. Shellen breaks a nail. The groups stand off.

ERNIE: It's a Razr fight!

Case and Schachter pull out Razrs. They circle each other and jab the air. This goes on for about an hour, including 20 minutes where SCHACHTER is stuck in meetings. Eventually:

SCHACHTER: You're finished, boy!

TERRY: Josh, don't! [Schachter hesitates a moment; the moment is enough for El Caseo, whose hand goes forward with a driving motion, running his Razr into Schachter. Terry leaps forward to catch Schachter. He breaks his fall, then takes the Razr in hand, leaps at the triumphant El Caseo. Terry rams his Razr into El Caseo. The kids waver, run one way, another, in panic, confusion, and fatigue from being too far from the Google snack room. As the stage is cleared, Terry stands, horrified, over the still bodies of Schachter and El Caseo. He bends over Schachter's body; then he rolls El Caseo's body over and stares. Then Terry raises his voice in an anguished cry.]
MARISSA!

Inspired by: conversations at this years gay pride parade [Little. Yellow. Different.]

So it's only fair to show you what they missed.

Marissa Mayer: 155 friends
Yes, the VP of search products and user experience is turned on by candlelight. That should come in handy on her perfect first date, which ends with "talking until dawn." To Marissa, sleep is for other people. Does she ever actually use those silk pajamas that are ostensibly in her bedroom?

Eric Schmidt: 66 friends
The CEO doesn't share any romantic info (his wife wouldn't like that), though his favorite book, A World Lit Only By Fire, sounds close enough to candlelight. Surprise surprise, he calls himself a workaholic. (Surprise surprise, by Google's standards he isn't.)

Larry Page: 112 friends
One of co-founder Larry's listed styles is "alternative." Anyone else turned on by the idea of a shaggy, Nirvana-worshipping Larry Page?

Sergey Brin: 123 friends
Sadly, this is probably a diagram of his actual DNA. But the dude shares no info whatsoever. Smart move, Sergey.

Bill Coughran: 33 friends
The senior VP of engineering and research's favorite TV is "24 hour news." Yeesh. Engineers.

Jeff Huber: 252 friends
Yet another VP who loves "Blade Runner." Sense a pattern here?

George Reyes: 9 friends
Oof. The CFO title doesn't come with a few placeholder friends? No sense making fun of this guy — it'd be like kicking a very lonely puppy.

Jason Shellen: 232 friends
This dude deserves every friend he's got and more. One of the original engineers at Blogger (he came to Google along with Blogger maker Pyra), Jason lists his favorite Cuisinart as Kitchen Aid.

Eric Case: 94 friends
The new king of Blogger is no slouch either. "Television = consent manufacturing," he says. That's why the indie Eric Case reads obscure authors like Michael Crichton. (To be fair, he's a Bill Bryson and Victor Hugo fan too.)

There are the interesting Googlers. All the others aren't worth knowing.

The Google Connection: Google Employees on Orkut [Google Blogoscoped]