1. Who the hell are you again?
Who is Dirk Funk from Germany? Good thing Facebook tells me we have no friends in common so I can reject him right away. Of course, if you're worthwhile to talk to I hope you're not trying to meet people through Facebook but are actually e-mailing or IMing them or maybe going to a goddamn party. But on the off chance that you know I should meet you and yet you choose to use Facebook to do so, use that messaging feature and tell me who you are because I'm not clicking your sorry-ass profile photo.

2. Deal with rejection.
Many of us (including Gawker founder Nick Denton) are so loath to reject some people that we leave them unresolved on our invitations page. I usually clear out my invitations when I'm drunk; it makes it easier to hit "Ignore."

So please remember whom you asked to friend you, and if they don't reply, don't invite them again. So far I've had about eight people add me again after I rejected them, and in that time I never had an actual conversation with them, not even on IM.

3. Don't slobber all over me.
Just one social network at a time, thanks; unless we really got off when we met (and we have met before Facebook right?) I don't want to be your Flickr buddy and Facebook friend and LiveJournal follower all at once. Don't fill my wall with YouTube clips. Just chill and play it slow.

4. Don't unfriend me after an argument.
"The 'people you should know' list on Facebook," said blogger Rex Sorgatz, "is actually a list of people you hate." Try it, it's true! But it's also a great way to see who just de-friended you. After an argument at a party, my friend Ryan decided I did not deserve to write on his Funwall. Of course because he and I share all the same friends, as soon as he de-friended me he popped up on my "people you may know" list. Classy! Now instead of a disagreement we could resolve, we have an awkward official end to the friendship.

Same goes for relationships; wouldn't it be decent of you to tell your close friends first about your breakup, and not 300 acquaintances?

5. Don't worry about it.
[Gawker story removed because god let's not go into it]
Don't bring Facebook into the real world. Unless your girlfriend dumps you through Facebook status, which violates rules #6-11.

Plenty of companies encourage employees to blog about their work, either to outreach to the community or as informal tech support. But to co-workers who don't know you, blogging on the job still smacks of goofing off. It isn't what you post that will get you in trouble, but when you post. Look at it through the CEO's eyes: If your project is a week behind schedule, why are you weighing in at noon on the Yahoo re-org? Lunch is for working.

The unwritten rules for blogging from work are:

• Never post during normal office hours. It's not a crime to work on your entries during the day — more productive than surfing Fark — but schedule your posts to appear in the early evening, or better yet at breakfast the next morning. You'll seem like a busy professional, not a bored staffer.
• Don't comment on every breaking news item. Only post when you have something original to say about something related to your expertise or pet interests. Me-too posts about whatever's on CNN say trainspotter, not trendspotter.
• Behind schedule? Stop blogging! Your manager may approve of your nonstop posts, but your manager has a manager, too — one who may push her to fire Sir Blog-A-Lot. Drop back to a weekly "the team is working hard" post.

SVUG suggests this schedule for company bloggers, so you'll neither go stale nor seem to have too much time on your hands.

• One post per day maximum.
• One post per week minimum.
• Schedule posts for 7am or 7pm.
• When in doubt, wait it out. Better to seem too busy than too bloggy.

• He comments on every blog that mentions his company. When the startup Sharpcast sponsored this week's GigaOM relaunch party, many attendees had no idea what the company does. Supr.c.ilio.us blogger Eran Globen noted this; so did I. CEO Gibu Thomas responded to Eran. Even if Gibu is Googling himself all day, can't he hand this work off to a flack?
• He's sending out his own press releases. When a friend of mine got a release signed by the company's CEO, he imagined this guy tapping out all his own corporate messages instead of managing his business.
• He or she shows up at every party. There's nothing wrong with attending several good conferences, but dominating the schmooze circuit is useless to most CEOs. Why not take some of those days off for one-on-one meetings with contacts?
• He hands me his business card but doesn't take time to chat with me. That was JanRain CEO Scott Kveton's mistake at the aforementioned party. I don't know who Scott is or what JanRain does, but I know there's a good reason his business card is printed cheaply — he must buy these things in bulk.