I have around four hundred Facebook friends and about four real life friends. Half of my Facebook friends are people I added in a drunken stupor; the other half added me in a drunken stupor. While I might want to look at the "Random Pics" of someone from high school, I certainly do not want to instant message with that person about their "craziest birthday ever." When you sign on to Facebook chat, there's no buddy list. Since all your Facebook friends are theoretically your real friends, everyone comes up. And every time I sign in, the meaninglessness of Facebook friendship becomes more apparent.

The other problem is that to use Facebook chat, you have to admit to using Facebook. And being into Facebook is lame. For as much pleasure Facebook gives me, I know looking at pictures of strangers and creating pithy status updates is not a good use of my time. Plus, having people see you online takes away from the voyeuristic pleasure of Facebook. No onlooker wants to be watched.

But the biggest drawback to Facebook is chat that I don't need it. I can't have three windows dedicated to LOL'ing with friends. Some of us have work to do, even if that work is writing about goofy internet trends.