One asks, "Anyone heard of Dan Finnigan? The guy is an SVP running nothing the last time I looked." ("Nothing" in this case might be Yahoo Hotjobs, which he joined in 2002.)

Another says:

You should check out why the Chief Data Officer (Osama Fayyad) and the VP of Data Solutions (Basel Ojjeh) are working with DMX Group...

More of that after the jump.

The second reader continues:

and, why is the later, is standing in the middle of this picture, in Beruit working a deal between this company, MICROSOFT, and a Lebonese bank??? Note he is there, but not mentioned.

The guy Jamie Charif mentioned as the EMEA head of DMX runs all of that business through Syria.

In short, does Yahoo know that one of its officers is running Yahoo business through a company he owns, and is doing so in Syria???

What the hell are they actually doing for Yahoo???

Conflicts of interest in Syria! We'll get Fat George Clooney on this case right away.

Earlier: SCOOP: Yahoo Go! Kiss these Yahoo VPs goodbye! [Valleywag]

Guaranteed

• Bill Demas, Senior Vice President & General Manager, Yahoo Publishing Network
• Will Johnson, VP & general manager of the Yahoo Publishing Network

One can hope

• Chief Technology Officer Farzad Nazem [already "not all there," knowwhatimean?]
• Chief Information Officer Lars Rabbe [if it's broke, he don't fix it]
• Senior VP of platform and product engineering Phu Hoang [what does this man do?]
• Chief Product Officer Ash Patel [doesn't get it]
• Senior VP of Connected Life Marco Boerries [the anti-Midas]
• Senior Product Manager for Yahoo Publisher Network Cody Simms [scenester here for the ride]
• Senior Product Manager in Corporate Development Ian Kennedy [here for another ride (maybe the tilt-a-whirl)]

One suspects is imminent

• Marc Davis, founder of Yahoo! Research Berkeley [tossed out months ago]

Likely? Hell Yeah

• CEO Terry Semel (pictured)

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

• Whoever invited Deepak Chopra to visit Yahoo

Have more details? Know whether CEO Terry Semel is safe or if Yahoo Media Group head Lloyd Braun is finally out on his ass? Email tips@valleywag.com. Your identity will, of course, be protected at all costs.

By Megan McCarthy

Here's the entire e-mail. For more on the story, read the Romenesko article at Poynter Online.

To: Time Inc. Staff
From: John Huey
Re: Staff Announcement

I am pleased to announce the appointment of Andy Serwer as managing editor of FORTUNE.

We all know that the world of business journalism has increasingly become a multi-media proposition, involving not only the magazine but its brand representations on the internet, on television and radio, wherever the reader wants his or her information. And no one is more qualified to lead FORTUNE on those multiple fields of battle than Andy.

He joined FORTUNE in 1985 as an intern from the Columbia Journalism School, and went on to become one of its most insightful, popular and productive writers. His work has ranged from his provocative column in every issue to major cover stories on everything from the young Michael Dell to Michael Price ("The Toughest S.O.B. on Wall Street") to the business of the Rolling Stones to the first look inside the financial and philanthropic workings of America's richest family, the Waltons.

Andy became one of our first internet stars nine years ago with his popular Street Life column. And in his spare time, Andy has also been the very successful business anchor of CNN's American Morning news show. He will continue to have an on air presence on CNN. No matter what project Andy takes on, he handles it with intelligence, wit and energy.

It is also safe to say that no journalist knows today's business story better than Andy Serwer. I am confident that he will bring his knowledge of both the story and the multimedia landscape to the helm of FORTUNE in exciting ways that will work to its great advantage in the future.

Andy is lucky to succeed Eric Pooley, who came to FORTUNE because of his very strong journalistic skills and storytelling abilities. He has delivered on those strengths in ways that have greatly enhanced the magazine and positioned it well for the future. He has made excellent hires, sharpened the magazine's coverage, updated its design, created new departments and lively new franchise issues, and shepherded great investigative tales, including the current cover story on the high drama behind Milberg Weiss's legal nightmare.

Eric, who previously edited Time Europe and before that was Chief Political Correspondent and Nation Editor of Time, is leaving FORTUNE and will be working with me and Jim Kelly on an assignment that plays to his strengths in investigative journalism.

Please join me in wishing both Eric and Andy well.

J. H.

CEO Paul Otellini and his fellow execs get to announce this and other fun details after Labor Day, when they'll unveil the next step in Intel's plan to get "leaner, more agile and more efficient." Of course, if someone leaked those details to tips@valleywag.com, maybe the suits would feel a little sting on Tuesday.

Plan at Intel May Include Many Layoffs [NYT]

Even better, the e-mail, penned in corporate-speak, looks like a mass forward that read:

"The work force reduction notification is currently in progress. Unfortunately your position is one that has been eliminated."

A management professor at University of North Texas calls this business move potentially "dehumanizing." Gee, ya think? On a tangential note, RadioShack shares climbed 29 cents on Wednesday. Guess it goes to show you that what's good for business ain't always good for the man. Or in this cause, the horde of office drones.

— Beth Gottfried

RadioShack Uses E-Mail to Fire Employees [Washington Post]

This is, of course, the second time this year that AOL has fired employees for a high-profile fuck-up; the last victim was the customer service rep who wouldn't let user Vincent Ferrari cancel his account.

Of course, in the Ferrari case, AOL was hypocritically punishing an employee for following the company's standard "user retention" procedure. In this case, they're totally valida— oh, wait, AOL's official policy is to let the government peek at its search records anyway. NEVER MIND.

AOL Fires Technology Chief After Web-Search Data Scandal [WSJ via GMSV]

AOL, the sickly siamese twin of Time Warner, announced it will fire 5,000 people by the year's end. Those cuts probably focus on the Access department, which announced yesterday that it will give AOL broadband access for free. (Veteran AOL exec Ted Leonsis doesn't mention the layoffs in his chipper forecast for the company.)

While AOL predicts losing more than half of its subscribers over the next three years, other departments are doing just fine. AOL's ad market is exploding, turning it into a powerhouse portal. Another business plan overhaul for AOL, another leg of the company's never-ending search for its own soul.

AOL to Cut Up to 5,000 Jobs As Part of Restructuring [WSJ]
Photo: At AOL, a Plan for a Clean Break [NYT]

Some poor schmuck has been fired for a harmless little article I wrote a few days ago about the Google product cycle. He's started his own website, entitled Valleyhag, but fails to give many details except that the apparent final straw was indulging too heartily in a remark about Jeremy Zawodny.

I know what it's like to be fired. I remember working as a speechwriter for Soviet leader Gorbachev in the 80s and making an offhand remark about the more important Red Square on his forehead. Now I thought it was hilarious but I haven't been back to St. Petersburg since. Another time, on the way to an interview with Ross Perot, I tried to get Babs Walters to take the wheel of our Lincoln Continental as I took another swig of Courvosier. After some chiding from her superiors, she got to keep her job at ABC. I, on the other hand, lost mine and had to spend a night spooning with a rather large man named Ramon in cell D.

To Silicon Valley, I say: give this poor sap a job. He evidently has the skills to operate free blog software, almost always uses the proper capitalization, and can even operate a digital camera. At the very least, he has great taste in humorous articles.

Valleyhag got me fired [Official site]
Earlier: Man fired for laughing at Valleywag

Who will replace the world's most popular vlogger at the world's most popular vlog? Is it all just a misunderstanding? What will Rocketboom's adopted vlogger, Steve Garfield, say when Mom and Dad sit him down for a hard talk? All this and more will develop today.

Amanda Unboomed... [Andrew Baron on Yahoo Groups]
Earlier: Amanda Congdon gets unboomed
Earlier: Amanda UnBoomed: Are we being punk'd?

• TDavid at Make You Go Hmm says this doesn't look like a joke.
• Photographer/technologist Thomas Hawk uses a "scare question mark:" "Amanda Congdon fired from Rocketboom?"
• Marketer Steve Rubel at Micro Persuasion treats Congdon's exit as fact and speculates that a TV network will pick her up.

Jury's still out. I know! Let's use the wisdom of the crowds!

Gawker Media polls require Javascript; if you're viewing this in an RSS reader, click through to view in your Javascript-enabled web browser.

Earlier: Amanda Congdon gets unboomed

Watch her farewell video, and notice how much realer Congdon feels when she speaks off the cuff. Either this is the natural tone Baron felt she was missing, or it's a hoax and Congdon's finally learned how to act.

Amanda UnBoomed [Amanda UnBoomed]

In all its glory, as promised ten minutes ago, the web site of the man fired for laughing at Valleywag.

Valleyhag got me fired [Official site]

An as-yet anonymous man pinged me on Monday:

Fired blog addict: did you write that latest Valleywag article on the Google product cycle?
Valleywag: nope
Fired: okay
because it just got me fired.
i was laughing so hard after reading it
that my boss got pissed off and told me that i'm done.
Wag: oh shut the front door, you cannot be serious
Fired: thanks valleywag
i was cracking up so fucking hard, that i dont blame them

The boss told this poor guy to clear out his stuff and leave his work on his desk the same day. More chat excerpts (in which our easily amused victim loses his dignity) are after the jump.

Stay tuned — this morning we'll link to this man's new web site, "Valleyhag got me fired."

Fired: like i dont even know whether to be upset or not
Fired: haha this is just surreal
Wag: yeah, seriously, did she already want you gone?
Fired: im done at the end of the day
Fired: which is, 30 mins.
Fired: maybe she'll take it back?
Fired: my girlfriend is going to kill me
Fired: if i go in there, and lose my last shred of dignity by asking for a pink slip, do you promise to find me a job and prevent my woman from killing me for gettting fired?

Fired: iave alawys wanted to have my own webstartup
Fired: maybe this is my chance!

Fired: im starting a blog
Fired: and filing suit against vvellwyag
Wag: haha
Fired: for getting me fired
Fired: ok i have to go get my fucking sandwich out of the fridge now
Wag: TAKE PICTURES

Fired: maybe i can get funding for my web startup idea
Fired: at your expense evil valleywag
Fired: i dotn get it i always laughed before, why did i get fired this time
Fired: i mean ive gotten wartnings before
Fired: especially when ther'es irrelevant pictures on the blog and she sees them and is like WHERES MY DAILLYU STATUS REPORT

• Hold the stage until the hook pulls you off. Just yesterday, Taylor was talking up Windows Live Messenger with the PR team. (Microsoft blogger Robert Scoble did the same, playing the company stooge on a public podcast recording.)
• Pick a less accessible news outlet. Mere mortals can't get at most Bloomberg articles and must settle for text-only lists of story abstracts. Now other reporters have to break through Bloomberg's wall to get at the official story.

• Poise a finger over the button. Select Mr. To-be-fired's bio, hit delete, and push "publish" just as the news breaks. Replace it with a terse line like Microsoft's: "Martin Taylor is no longer with Microsoft."
• Oh, and: Get fired out of the blue. That helps kill long goodbyes. Business 2.0 says the unusual departure means Taylor's exit wasn't up to him.
• If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Give Taylor a month or two, and see if he's not in the queue at the Googleplex. (Of course, if he wants the job, he'll have to answer the "farmer, fox, and chicken crossing a stream" puzzle like everyone else.)

Microsoft's Google fighter leaves abruptly [Business 2.0/Fortune]

Netscape Anchor Commentary

C.K.: "Statement from AOL:

"At AOL, we have zero-tolerance for customer care incidents like this - which is deeply regrettable and also absolutely inexcusable. The employee in question violated our customer service guidelines and practices, and everything that AOL believes to be important in customer care - chief among them being respect for the member, and swiftly honoring their requests. This matter was dealt with immediately and appropriately, and the employee cited here is no longer with the Company .""

The post itself, a clip from the Today Show by longtime Weblogs, Inc. blogger Karina Longworth, is innocuous. The comment thread is devoid of any employee abuse. So what is C.K. talking about — and why is he posting this on a high-traffic page on launch day?

Matt Lauer rips into Ann Coulter on Today [Netscape Beta]

Here's why we are:

• Even Philip "Pud" Kaplan, the man who made his name dancing around the bloated corpses of dot-coms at Fucked Company, couldn't pull his own dot-com (Adbrite) into the black.
• And yet the company won't die.

Here's why we aren't:

• Pud gave up at playing CEO. Now he's just Adbrite's "Chief Product Officer."
• In other words, stick a fork in Mr. Fucked Company — he's done.

AdBrite Names Iggy Fanlo As CEO [PR Newswire]

As predicted here, Riya marketer Tara Hunt left the photo-sharing startup after nine months of aggravating the engineers and belittling their marketing attempts — a skill Valleywag commends her for. The exit is no surprise to those around her — Tara is worth watching not for her Riya job (has she ever told you about Riya?), but for her solo work promoting "Pinko Marketing" — her rebranded Cluetrain Manifesto school of marketing. That's the sort of stuff that gets a speaker on the conference gravy train for life.

But what happens to Tara now? After all, she's an alien with a work visa. Will a self-employed position as "consultant and marketing visionary" keep her from getting booted back to Canada?

Tara hasn't publicly blogged her exit yet (though this bio makes it pretty obvious), so who knows if she'll mention the other dirty secret — a few tipsters think she was fired. Chances are this was one of those shoulda-seen-it-coming mutual break-ups. Good luck to Tara, and wherever she takes Pinko Marketing, Valleywag looks forward to pettily mocking it.

UPDATE: Tara confirms at her blog.

HorsePigCow [Tara's blog]
Photo: In Tdot [Tara on Flickr]
Earlier: Is the Pinko Marketer leaving Riya? [Valleywag]
Update: Announcement #2 - Rogue on the loose [HorsePigCow]

Among the perks enjoyed by those full-time employees not jobless this week: better food in the canteens, towels in shower rooms, laundry service, and investment plans.

Perks for those hitchhiking home for a week of no pay: at least they know where their towels are.

Microsoft tells contractors to take a week off [Inquirer]
Microsoft plans perks to retain staff [Financial Times]

The best "You've Been Fired" story I ever heard was of an employee at EA [Electronic Arts — Ed.] Vancouver (not Bay Area but hey, bite me). The guy was a Lead Tester by day and Warez Kid by night.

The local management got suspicious...They started logging all network traffic and called in the FBI.

Guy was finally cornered when he initiated an unencrypted IRC conversation with his Warez buddies from his cube at work, telling them that he may not be able to supply more SKUs as "things are getting hot around here". Within the hour he was being escorted from the building in handcuffs.

Can anyone top that? Throw your story in the comments or e-mail tips@valleywag.com.