Instead, he's starting a new site, Kaplan index, which promises to help people "get recognized for your skills in 2009," which, as TechCrunch's Michael Arrington notes, sounds like a boring jobs site.

Kaplan strongly considered relaunching FuckedCompany, even approaching former Valleywag editor Nick Douglas to run the site. "i really wanted it too," Douglas told me by IM. "A new shot at calling out the bad guys, this time with more grace and fewer civilian casualties. [I] wanted to prove I've learned a lot since my rocky tenure at Valleywag."

Too bad for Douglas, and a pity for fans, who must make do with pale imitiations. But understandable for Kaplan, who lived in New York when his site viciously savaged the Valley's failing startups after the dotcom bubble burst in 2000. He now lives in San Francisco and has founded a startup of his own, AdBrite, an online-advertising firm whose troubles would make good fodder for a revived FuckedCompany. He's engaged, too, to a do-gooding lawyer. A happy insider makes for a poor chronicler of disaster. But it's disappointing to see a one-time prince of derisive darkness turn to the light.

(Photo by Brian Solis/Bub.blicio.us)

Kaplan, best known for founding FuckedCompany, the scathing tabloid tipsheet of the first dotcom bubble's bursting, proposed to his longtime girlfriend Ilona Turner. I'm guessing, from his Twitters, that he did the deed in Paris — how romantic! (She said yes.) He was in Paris to attend a money-wasting tech conference, though, which rather kills the romance of it.

Turner is not a techie; instead, she's a staff attorney at the National Center for Lesbian Rights. (Full disclosure: I met Turner at a fundraiser she, Kaplan, and I hosted to fight the passage of Proposition 8, California's gay marriage ban.)

Of course, for those who know Kaplan from his New York days, it's not surprising that he's not adhering to the Valley's strict social mores. Back when he ran FuckedCompany, he prided himself on his outsider status. He's more of an insider these days, as the founder of AdBrite, a turmoil-racked online-advertising startup. But in a world where people only date within a small circle — preferably people who can do them a favor — it's refreshing, shocking almost, to see that love can prosper even when it's not on the same payroll.

(Photo via Mobog)

From the same employee, some pornalicious wagging:

They totally changed pud.com by the way, it used to link to mobog.com (his mobile phone porn site) and a few other sketch sites that he runs — they used to all be listed on his LinkedIn profile. You can clearly see the "email pud" link on the nav bar. I wonder if Mark Kvamme from Sequoia checks out those sites!

Oh, those halcyon years of the Internet! When men were real men, women were real women, and for $5.95 an hour they'd prove it to you! It wasn't so long ago, kids, that Philip "Pud" Kaplan of Fucked Company (yeah, the failed AdBrite CEO) was makin' home webcam videos — sexy threesome videos.

And more power to him — you mess around with a couple of hotties, you gotta share your joy with the world, right? After the jump, things get a little NSFW with three more tasty webcam shots.

With 93 captive viewers, why didn't Pud throw some banner ads up in here?

Webcams should come with breathalyzers.

Aaaaaand scene!

• In a fit of business brilliance, Microsoft launched a paid PC care service, thus profiting from the shittiness of its own products. [Australian IT]
• Who's the "limited audience" for Google's new spreadsheet program? I hope it's John Hodgman. [Associated Press]
• New York Post gossip Lloyd Grove stalks Oracle CEO Larry Ellison by boat. His yacht, the Rising Sun, was last seen in Nice. [NY Daily News]
• Mr. Fucked Company is...fucked. Former dot-com schadenfreuder Philip Kaplan says his exit as Adbrite CEO was a mutual agreement. [CNET]
• Today in "A Million Tiny Google Screw-ups": journalist Jon Udell gets the runaround from the anal-retentive Google PR team. [InfoWorld]

What's really funny about the Socializr offices to me (I live next door) is that they are in the building just-until-a-couple-of-months-ago occupied by Pud (who now owns AdBrite).

About 6 months ago, I was out walking my dog, and saw that there was all this AdBrite trash out front: old plaques with yellowed Wall Street Journal clippings profiling the genius who started the F*ed Company phenomenon, with little brass titles of the date of the Journal article.

If it weren't for the fact that they were likely already peed on by various dogs and homeless people, I totally would have taken them home.

After the jump, the four honorable mentions.

Makethelogobigger finds his own favorite Steve Jobs edition.

Going with a write-in candidate here: Noah Wyle as Jobs in his Tucker Carlson phase.

Kyle Bunch broke the Internet.

Sorry everybody, my fault. I accidentally tripped over a cord.

Blackjack loves Baidu's martial-arts play but knows revenge is inevitable.

Bad. Ass. But will we see a Google ad that continues this one by turning the swordsman into a pincushion like Jet Li's character in "Hero"?

dljfs wants Marissa Mayer to croak "Koyaanisqatsi."

"Larry used the scanner, and she flipped the pages of a book to the rhythm of a metronome. They managed to get through a 300-page thick book in little over 35 minutes."

Google is starting a band! Sounds sorta Phillip Glass-y. I bet the light show will be AWESOME.

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