Oh my God, I <3 the Bubble. All the excess, the vanity, the frivolousness, it's so great. What else could explain a conference opening party featuring a candlelit jazz corner, free massages, an oxygen bar and the chance to hustle engineers with your billiards prowess? Not to mention the complementary drinks and fancy deserts, branded schwag and, oh, did I mention that there was an OXYGEN BAR?

Yahoo! sponsored the After Hours Lounge & Progressive Suite Party last night at the Palace Hotel, home of the Web 2.0 (TM) Conference Summit. It was easily crashable - I snuck in by merging with a group of nametag-clad attendees and avoiding eye contact with the worker checking credentials.

The Sunset Court, the large foyer connecting the different conference rooms, was bathed in purple light and the glow from flat-screen TVs showcasing Second Life excerpts and clips from Beck's concert at Yahoo Hack Day. Since the party started at 9:30, the food available leaned towards the sweet side of the palate. At one table, a man served s'mores on fine china. The next station had melted Ghirardelli cascading down a four-tiered fountain with plates of strawberries, cake, and sliced pineapple available to dip in the chocolate. It was fantastic.

Attending the Web 2.0 Summit must be highly stressful work, because the theme of afterparty was extreme relaxation. Level 3 Communications turned the Marina suite into an upscale massage parlor, offering back rubs and reflexology to tired attendees. If you wanted to unwind with a game of pool, you could check out the Sea Cliff suite, where there were two tables set up by About.com. The Presidio suite became a virtual make-out room, dark, cozy, and lit only by candles, featuring a three-piece jazz ensemble with sponsor Etelos's President & CEO Danny Kolke on the keys.

These parties are never about the entertainment, though, are they? It's always about the people and the networking. Walking through the crowd, I met Dan from Fox Interactive, who told me that MySpace Tom skipped the conference to go to Tokyo for the Launch of MySpace Japan, a choice I assume was not a difficult one. Also seen out and about were Tailrank founder Kevin Burton, Mashery President & CEO Oren Michaels, Valleyschwag procurement officer Tara Anderson, Jason and Patrick from software company Cambrian House, Robert Pazornik from LicketyShip (a familiar face from STIRR 1.7), and People Aggregator's Marc Canter (and his lovely wife Lisa) who invited me (I declined) to smoke a joint in one of the conference-provided hotel rooms upstairs.

Above and beyond, the most bizarre thing about the evening was the oxygen bar in Intel's Pacific Heights suite. Plastic tubes emerged from a clear case containing four "flavors" of some sort of liquid, one of which bubbled up depending on the lever you pushed. The woman running the bar gave out individual nasal cannulas to attach the tube, and you were just supposed to sit there and inhale. The end result was twelve people sitting, vacant eyed, breathing heavily through their nosepiece. (It reminded me of Nursing Home Night at Foxwoods, except you changed flavors instead of pulling the slot handle and no one was smoking a Newport out of their trachea hole.) As for the oxygen, it was ethereal, slightly energizing, and, okay, fine, I didn't feel a thing from it, but other people said they did so I lied and pretended I could see the Emperor's clothes, too. One thing is certain, though: the Bubble smells like Citrus Zen.

"I thought all these egos would be bouncing off of each other," said Marianne from Treasure Island, "but this has been so warm and supportive. It's not about awards, it's more about celebrating new technologies." She was referring to the Vloggies, held Saturday night at the Swedish American Hall, and she was right about the atmosphere.

Going into this videoblog award show, I braced myself for an evening of cinematic navel-gazing, expecting clip after clip of disembodied faces staring into the camera, focused on their own reflection in the lens instead of communicating to an audience. I was pleasantly surprised. To me, the Vloggies clearly illustrated the varied world of internet video and, in a way, brought rationality to a medium easily construed as ridiculous.

On the other hand, Marianne was dressed as a fluffy yellow duck.

Jerry Zucker: "You like these jokes? I got a hundred more that we cut from "Naked Gun 33 1/3." [Laughing Squid]

In a sign of the vlogosphere's influence, actual famous people attended the show. Jerry Zucker, creator of Airplane! and The Naked Gun opened the night with a great speech (recorded here) about the beginning of his moviemaking career, drawing parallels to the world of vlogging. Daniel McVicar from The Bold and the Beautiful (and the McVlog) and Irina Slutsky from the vlog Geek Entertainment Television (who also organized the event for podcast company PodTech) very capably co-hosted the red-carpet affair.

Daniel McVicar shows his "doh" face while Irina Slutsky spies a cute guy in the audience. [Laughing Squid]

The usual group of internet celebrities showed up in support, including Scoble Show namesake Robert Scoble and Diggnation vlogger (and digg.com founder) Kevin Rose. Conspicuously absent from the ceremony were a few familiar Vlogerati, like ex-Rocketboom queen Amanda Cogdon and Favorite Male Vlogger Ze Frank (who sent Marianne the duck in his stead).

Big check, little prize. [Laughing Squid]

Alive in Baghdad was the big winner. This fantastic site - which takes a look at daily life in a war zone through interviews with Iraqi citizens - won a total of 7 Vloggies, including Judges' Favorite Vlog. Along with Josh Wolf, People's Choice winner for Favorite Male Vlogger, Alive in Baghdad demonstrates the capacity for internet videos to go beyond entertainment into true journalistic inquiry. In honor of its win, the Intel Corporation presented vlogger Brian Conley with a scant $2,000. It was enough to fund one Intel Core2Duo laptop, true, but the ridiculous size of the novelty check made the donation look meager in comparison. Given the state of the Iraqi power supply, I hope that Intel can cough up, at the very least, a solar battery charger and satellite internet connection, and throw in a couple flak jackets for the journalists.

Ask a Ninja co-creator Kent Nichols shows off his unstoppable "double-fisted statues" maneuver. [Thomas Hawk]

Slight snafus haunted the night. The audio went out on Ze Frank's taped acceptance speech and the dubbing was delayed all night, making every video look like a 1970s kung-fu movie. Patrons at the open bar talked over Brian Conley's moving speech, and an overabundance of hungry party guests picked over scant appetizers at the afterparty at Café du Nord. On the whole, however, the hosts and presenters kept the show moving and the crowd entertained. One person at the mike even offered to tap dance for the audience when a clip refused to play.

Andrew Baron tries to show the ducky what traffic really means. [Chuckumentary]

One thing that struck me as odd: Andrew Baron, the producer of Rocketboom, accepted the Judge's Favorite News Vlog with a dark-haired beauty by his side - curiously, Rocketboom host Joanne Colan was back in New York working on some "TV stuff." Baron won the Ego Prize of the night for invoking Woody Allen in a condescending speech that managed to accept the honor while assuring the audience that he was really superior to all this nerdy stuff. Later on, he continued his pissing contest with Ze Frank by pretending to vanquish Marianne the duck in a tasteless photo op.

Valleywag party score: This event's ready for its close-up.

The "Vloggies" re-used statuettes from the "Goatses." [Laughing Squid]

Unless noted, photos are by Scott Beale of Laughing Squid. See his photo gallery: The Vloggies: Photo gallery [Laughing Squid]
Also see Thomas Hawk's gallery: Photos from the 2006 Vloggies [Zooomr]

Valleywag party correspondent Megan McCarthy double-dipped at last night's parties for phone-privacy service Jangl and canine social network Dogster.

Jangl held its launch party last night at Club Mighty in San Fran's Potrero Hill. The room was full of dark suits and ties and it smelled like VC money. The food? Incredible. Filet Mignon with potato puffs, asparagus spears, cheese and fruit and even pâté. Oh, how good the bubble tastes!

Valleywag has talked about Jangl before, a fact some of the suits unhappily pointed out upon my introduction. Tim Johnson, head flack at Jangl, talked more about the company and what it does and the services it offers.

With Jangl, you set up a username which you give out in lieu of your real phone number. Once your new contact has your Jangl ID, he or she would then log into the site, enter your ID and Jangl creates a computer-generated phone number for the two of you to use. It's not meant to be one of those fake break-up numbers that you give out to people who should go away. Jangl is a way to keep personal information private to the parties involved. Perfect, Jangl implies, for urban dating and eBay (and drug dealers, terrorists, journalists covering Hewlett-Packard and cheating spouses.)

The crowd was filled with big names, from journalist Om Malik, to Friendster president Kent Lindstrom. Michael Cerda and Ben Dean, Jangl's co-founders, took the stage to crow about the completion of a deal with a major online web community whose name will be officially announced on Monday. (We found out it's Match.com )

Dogster's 300,000th-user celebration was held a few blocks away geographically, but worlds apart in terms of tone and substance, starting with the outside doors being locked. Us latecomers had to shout at the window to be let in. Everything about this bash screamed "Web 2.0" -the free t-shirts, the thick hipster glasses worn by founder Ted Rheingold, the self-serve cooler of beer in the corner. The crowd was a typical mix of startup founders, bloggers, vloggers, and photographers, with a few dog owners mixed in.

Yes, people brought their pets. The king of the party was Beck, a sweet 4-year-old Newfoundland as big as a freaking buffalo. He spent the night wandering around the room like a 150lb sentient rug, petted instinctively by whoever was within arms reach. There were small dogs, too, like the Chihuahua who was barely larger than Beck's paw, and rambunctious Boston terrier (and friend of Valleywag) Milo. No cats, however. When asked about the difference in site users, both Ted (no dogs or cats) and Dogster biz-devver Steven Reading (cat owner) outed dog owners as significantly crazier than their cat-friendly cousins.

Valleywag Party Score: Based on the fabulous menu, Jangl comes in at "No, seriously, I'll call you." For atmosphere, Dogster wins itself a steak-shaped chew toy.

Photo of Beck by Chris Heuer [Flickr]
Photo of Dogster founder Ted Rheingold (left) and friend by Ted Rheingold [Flickr]

By Megan McCarthy, Valleywag party correspondent

After last month's spin in San Francisco, STIRR returned last night to its original home at Fanny and Alexander's in downtown Palo Alto for version 1.7 of the massively buzzed-about schmoozefest and startup show-and-tell. Allan Lienwand of Vyatta, Adam Marsh of PrefPass, Oliver Muoto of vFlyer, and Robert Pastornik of LicketyShip all presented for their respective startups and Adam Sah spoke on behalf of Google Gadgets, which came not to impress investors, but to show all the entrepreneurs how to act when you finally move the business out of the toolshed and you're able to afford that nice new silver TT.

Kudos to STIRR for instituting the 60-second pitch limit. One would think that being boring in such a small amount of time is difficult, but you'd be surprised. The key is to keep from forcing in too much information and coming across like the MicroMachine spokesman in front of the live feed. As an observer, it would be refreshing to see some sort of deviation from the typical stand-and-deliver speech, like an interpretive dance, or a founder displaying a large banner of the company name while blowing an air horn for sixty seconds* or something creative like that, but the real audience isn't made up of the press or the PR people or the servers behind the bar. The whole dance is to seduce the shadowy investors who lurk in the background with a pocketful of bank notes and no one to spoil.

STIRR's purpose is to network, as a verb. There's little to no time for niceties here: There's Business to be done! The entrepreneur-heavy crowd conveys an expectation that everyone is a potential investor, partner, client, or vendor, and treats whomever they're talking to accordingly. For the most part, they're right. The STIRR founders have culled the guest list to limit invitations to decision makers and higher-ups. They have no qualms about rejecting people who wish to attend. Recently, associates from venture capital firms were disinvited en masse, unless they brought along a partner. This selectivity does have downsides. There's hardly any gender diversity - there were more blue-shirted men than women, total. Not good.

When the event was winding down, the food cleaned up and the last secret free drink tickets given away, that was when the night got interesting. The entrepreneurs and others relaxed enough to hold conversations unrelated to their business model or valuation, allowing real connections to be forged. One angel investor, who confessed to arriving late and missing all the presentations, held a private conversation with a criminally young startup founder in front of the entrance to the bar, after everyone else had left the event as a memory.

From a purely social standpoint, STIRR is the equivalent of doing your laundry — you know you need to do it, you know it's good for you, and you feel accomplished when it's done, but during it, part of you is wondering "Am I missing a good Maury episode?" Should you be there next month? Yes, if you're an investor, a biz-devver, or a startup, it would probably be worth it. Find some way to get your hands on an invitation and bring your blue shirt, your business cards, and your bold-face name.

*I'm kidding. Please DEAR GOD don't do this.

Full disclosure - I volunteered to give out nametags at the STIRR event in May, out of boredom and dorkiness and the fact that it was a few blocks from my house. I'm not affiliated with the organization and, aside from a shared passion for the Boston Red Sox, have nothing in common with the founders.

Photos by Jeremiah Owyang [Flickr]

Last night, Digg founder Kevin Rose and pals celebrated the relaunch of his Revision 3 online TV network with a party at Mighty, a San Fran venue currently sporting sculptures of flying underwear (really. Don't know why). Scott Beale provides the photos below.

Photog Thomas Hawk shows off his full head of hair to Digg coder Owen Byrne. Owen is only smiling to lure Thomas closer; in the next unphotographed moment he whips out a switchblade and forcibly scalps Thomas.

Can you spot the ass pat?

Say hi to Valleywag's new party correspondent, Megan McCarthy! (Really! If you see her at a party, be nice, cause she's got the gossip power!)

"Stupid (mumble) geeks, (mumble) "The System is Down" (mumble) fifty-five times (mumble) burn this place down."

"Does anyone want Kevin Rose to sign their breasts? Anyone? Please don't make us pick Om Malik, we did him last time."

"Color me unimpressed; this is so not as fun as the last 'Project Runway.'"

If you ask video star Dr. Tiki to "write you a prescription" one more time, he will kick you in half.

Heeeeere's Johnny!

Vloggers Kent Nichols and Irina Slutsky left early to form a death metal punk band.

Revision3 Launch Party [Laughing Squid]

Now that TechCrunch blog founder Michael Arrington moved his monthly megabashes elsewhere, he can hold intimate house parties again. Last night, Mr. Bubble-blower had some guests over to his Atherton ranch after the Future of Web Apps conference in San Francisco. Scott Beale, the Frank Worth of Web 2.0, shot these pics.

Mike gets a goblet, guests get plastic cups.

So that's what happened to Senator Ted Stevens's staff.

While the party roars at Mike's house, Techmeme creator Gabe Rivera bitterly holds his own campfire outside his hermit shack in Mike's garden.

Forbes, 2008: "And that's how __, once worth $2 billion and now a red line on Viacom's balance sheet, began in a blogger's backyard."

This is as close to debauchery as it gets out here. No, I don't know why we haven't all shot ourselves either.

"Dese mah bitches!"

The Future of Web Apps @ TechCrunch [Laughing Squid]

Like a series of tubes, interconnected.

"Maybe if I close my eyes I can pretend I'm not inhaling."

"MUCH better than butter, Russel."

"Dude, They're Siamese. I swear! I can put my hand on both their shoulders."

"I was told there would be cute Emo boys. Where are the cute Emo boys?"

"We're so strung out. Ha ha, our little joke. Actually pulling this string undoes her dress."

"Honey, you know I only like being touched there at GigaOM Events."

"There are free passes if I'm press or if I promise to kiss girls."

"Those Web 2.0 Hotties can eat me."

"Wait. How can you be taking a picture of me if...I'm so confused!"

"I'm too hip to care."

"It's really unkind of you not to forward the casual dress memo."

Photos: Yelp Elite at SFMOMA [Mitchell Aidelbaum on Flickr]

First up, Stirr, the monthly show-and-tell for startups (photos by Hot From Silicon Valley):

"Hey, you know the organizer Sean Ness? I hear he isn't wearing any panties."

"Guys, I know the party around us is loud, but if we keep our heads down, we can still finish this business proposal tonight."

Caught in the holy light, this man converted to the Holy Church of Web 2.0. He was later seen handing out poppies at the Oakland Airport.

"Please God, just one more button."

"Hmm, who on the balcony looks pitchable?"

"Look at me, I'm a woman at Stirr! How did I even get in here?"

Meanwhile, at San Francisco's Mighty club, blogger Om Malik held the second re-launch party for his blog GigaOM, sponsored by Sharpcast. Four people asked me that night, "What does Sharpcast do?" Who knows, and who cares? They bought the drinks, and they were hiring. They supplied the band too, for which we hate them. Zooomr evangelist Thomas Hawk snapped shots:

In the center, Thor Muller of Rubyred Labs and Valleyschwag, the man who will one day make millions selling elixir from a brightly painted wagon.

GigaOM blogger Jackson West eschewed collar and sleeves, instantly becoming the best-dressed gent at the party.

Note the white rabbit, a nod to the party's Alice in Wonderland theme. The heavy references to a magical world where things grow big when they shouldn't, words mean whatever one wants them to mean, and impossible creatures give drug-induced speeches while celebrating nonexistent holidays, made a better point about the tech boom than I ever could.

The man of the hour, getting some affection from Citizen Agency consultant Tara Hunt. Further photo series analysis reveals: Om only posed with women (who were, as all women, gorgeous).

Technorati engineer Kevin Marks makes a "help me" face.

Little known fact: Laughing Squid founder Scott Beale is rarely seen in photos not because he is usually behind the camera, but because he stands at a 60-degree angle.

STIRR Mixer 5 [Hot From Silicon Valley on Flickr]
Go GigaOm Go [Thomas Hawk]

GigaOM blogger Om Malik is taking his tech site from hobby to business. His alma mater, Business 2.0, held a patio party for him at the Hotel Vitale. Guests included B2 editor Josh Quittner, Craigslist creator Craig Newmark, and a whole gang of delightful snarkers. These photos are from Scott Beale (aka "Long Tentacle") from Laughing Squid.

Om kisses the ring of Michael Arrington, the Tech Blogging king who reigns from the throne of TechCrunch. Every time that happens in a movie, doesn't the kisser end up overthrowing the kissed?

In the corner, Craig Newmark has His Conversation: net neutrality, a eulogy to The West Wing, tales of dropping in on realtors, and which birds are nesting in his Cole Valley backyard. (It's his only conversation, but it's a good one.)

"My writers work for commission. Every time we get an angry e-mail from Vonage, they get a hundred dollars."

The quality of a party is directly proportional to the amount of guys wearing shirts like the guy on the left.

Party conversation in the Valley goes much better if you throw your hair over your eyes and pretend you're talking to a girl.

I don't like to post photos of myself, but look at Mike's glare! Too precious!

During the party, Mike told me that I'm welcome to come to his upcoming party (the social event of the season!), but that security was instructed to break my arms.

It's not a Scott Beale party photo set without someone gesturing obscenely at the camera.

Wouldn't you eat a can of Om Malik dog food? To read the cover, view this in full size.

Photos: Business 2.0 celebrates Om Malik [Laughing Squid]

Desperate for his costume's finishing touch, Rubyred's Ted Grubb ripped this mustache off a passing hobo.

It's next summer's superhero hit: GigaOM and Scobleizer, the blogger duo. With their piles of VC funding combined, they're just two gym memberships away from Batman and Robin.

The Valleyschwag team. (Don't even think about it. She's 17.)

Digg.com founder Kevin Rose couldn't make it, so he sent this convincing wax figure in his stead.

These ladies were deemed too salacious and were asked to stop their heathen dance.

Around 1 AM, some real cowboys walked in and kicked Valleyschwagger Jonathan Grubb's ass back to the dude ranch.

The main event was the schwag fashion show, MC'd by video blogger Irina Slutsky.

She just met the guy who fits in this hat.

Consider the talent competition over.

The back reads, "eBay China. We haven't landed anyone in jail yet."

When Meetro's Vincent Lauria feels hot, his clothes had better get the fuck out of the way.

Whore.

"Thor Muller, I wish I could quit you."

"They can't haves it! It's mine, my precious!"

This is why we got the Brokeback jokes out of the way.

Blogger Chris Messina is having so much fun talking about this party with his chat room friends.

The infamous etched Powerbook that made the world's geeks so transparently jealous this week.

Robert Scoble wants you to work for PodTech.

Valleyschwag Hoedown [Laughing Squid]

Independence Day weekend and the no-free-pass policy may have kept you from the Seattle Gnomedex conference, but the magic of the Internets again lets you pretend you were there to hear presidential hopeful John Edwards speak and to snark the usual gang of crazy uncles in the backchannel chat room. Photos posted by Scott "no I won't shoot your wedding" Beale at Laughing Squid.

Senator Edwards sees Dick Cheney in the crowd. "Wanna mess, old man? I got two hands here and they're itching to break some neck."

Gnomedex organizer Chris Pirillo and partner-in-crime Ponzarelli try out for a ska band.

Laugh at them now, but in five years these dudes will shave and reveal that they're 16.

Wordpress founder Matt Mullenweg and Microsoft manager Niall Kennedy are blown back by an off-screen explosion, caused when Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer and blog pundit Dave Winer accidentally bumped each other.

Submissive startupper Kris Krug points to his dominatrix, Megan Cole.

This fish wouldn't stop asking for an "angler investment," and when its pun didn't go over well, the damn thing would bite.

The performance by Dave Dederer (of the Presidents of the United States of America) lost the talent competition to an interpretive dance about dynamic web menus.

When techies Chris Heuer and Will Pate decide they've had enough of the tech bubble, they will unleash Cthulhu upon the world and all hope will be lost.

ZDNet columnist Steve Gillmor talked for half an hour before anyone realized he was reciting the Bhagavad Gita in the original Sanskrit.

Philip Kaplan performs the interpretive dance that beat Dederer.

Gnomedex 6.0 Photos [Laughing Squid]

Digg partner Stamen Design won Best Costume by dressing as a team of dapper carpet salesmen.

Upcoming.org founder Andy Baio just licks the salt off these things and puts them back on the bar.

Diggers Daniel Burka and David Prager celebrated the launch with a day lying sideways on the beach. They do not regret getting these bizarre sunburns.

After the jump: "They call me....Mister Digg!"

One Tic Tac watch, Tic Tac iPod case, and Tic Tac flashlight later, gadget geek Philip Torrone's mouth smells like a mint factory.

Digg founder Kevin Rose can't run a site and shave at the same time.

Fucked Company founder Philip "Pud" Kaplan shows his no-nonsense version of "the shocker."

Diggnation podcaster Alex Albrecht: "We're hoping to get Mark Wahlberg to play me in the film, but I'm willing to do his stunts."

And that's how star power gets you written onto a guest list.

Digg co-founder Jay Adelson just thought of the perfect joke about midget sex, but he struggles against the inappropriate urge to blurt it out on stage.

OMG screenshot!

SF Chronicle writer Dan Fost to Microsoft manager Niall Kennedy: "Look, I'd like to make you the next Robert Scoble, but I don't have that kind of power."

Tier 1 founder Andy Shroepfer about gigablogger Om Malik: "Om said I could make fun of his John Travolta hair if I funded his next blog."

Digg v3 party photos [Laughing Squid]

Valleywag's first SloshCon at the House of Shields was so successful that my hangover's having baby hangovers. Remember the live-audience interviews and speeches on the game plan? Scrapped. We didn't want to ruin the vibe (half the crowd had arrived in the first 20 minutes), so we all kept on drinking and bullshitting one-on-one. (Top photo by Jeremiah Owyang)

Tag your Flickr'd party photos with "SloshCon" — just like the Mopping Up post says.

Irina Slutsky, host of Geek Entertainment TV, and Amber MacArthur, host of commandN and Call For Help — 66% of the blond vlogosphere. [Irina Slutsky]

Irina was overheard telling GETV producer Eddie Codel, "You need to feed me or videotape me, right now!" And who wouldn't gladly do both?

"So your claims to fame are a snarky site called Fucked Company, a nearly fucked company called AdBrite, and recording yourself in various costumes and, most disturbingly of all, your undressed body? And she is willing to date you?" Pud: "Yes." "Oh my God you're my hero." [Adam Engelhart]

A bewildered Jeff Veen points in bewilderment as TechCrunch's Michael Arrington and I (the tiny one) re-enact a favorite Arrington pose. [Brian Oberkirch]

Arrington says he made the first shocker when Tara Hunt went around at a party, telling everyone to do it. At the time he had no idea what the gesture meant. (Sure, Michael, sure.)

A friend of Jeff, by the way, greeted me with "So you're the one who almost fucked up Jeff's Measure Map deal?" (Yes. Yes I am.)

Famous awesome people who showed: Philip "Pud" Kaplan (a Valleywag favorite this week), TV star Amber MacArthur, Jon Grubb and Thor Muller (the Lennon and McCartney of Rubyred Labs), and Michael Arrington (Web 2.0's war correspondent)

Famous less awesome people who must have had a sudden emergency, like, their entire hometown just blew up: Digg founder Kevin Rose

See more of these webstars! Click past the jump!

Rubyred Labs and Valleyschwag co-founder Jonathan Grubb tastes like magic ice cream. [Adam Engelhart]

"Aaaaaah Pud, that's the best man-boy-love joke ever!" [Adam Engelhart]

Technorati principal engineer Kevin Marks and fresh Google hire Catspaw stare into the laptop photobooth of a fellow #joiito IRC chatter (that's at irc.freenode.net), Other Maciej, who has a whole gallery of liberally applied Photoshop effects from the party. [Other Maciej]

Best thing about geek parties is, if you're bored, you can just find a laptop and surf some animal porn. [Adam Engelhart

We had a webcast and a backchannel chat up in honor of the sober vicarious party-goers living in the middle of nowhere (read: not in the Valley). [Adam Engelhart]

Valleywag does Top Gun: "Too close for shots, I'm switching to beer." [Jeremiah Owyang]

That smile says "I don't know they're winding up for a Roxbury hip slam." [Adam Engelhart

Thanks for hanging out, Silicon Valley! Come back in the fall for "SloshCon 2: The Disappointingly Boring But More Productive Sequel!"

Flickr Galleries:
Other Maciej [Flickr]
Jeremiah Owyang [Flickr]
Adam Engelhart [Flickr]

"What's the business model for Tetris?"

A team's work halts as Malcolm Gladwell wows them all with stories and psychological insights. Nothing gets done, but the inspired team soon makes $2 million in the consulting biz.

David Weekly (right) and cohorts snack at an In-n-Out Burger, where David recalls his high school summer job as a rollerskate waitress.

"No one liked my project."

From this angle, the project looks flippable.

"Nothing! Nothing! He was just...balancing my servers."

This isn't from the DevHouse — it's Google's brig for insubordinate developers.

Another disappointing first Goatse.

"Actually, I work here, and what the hell are you doing in my building?"

Why is this man so happy? He just built Porn 2.0, and he knows he'll win.

Dorky button-downs, laptop bags, and ten guys for every girl — welcome back to high school chess club! TechCrunch blogger Michael Arrington held a dorkolicious Web 2.0 (TM) party this weekend in Seattle. An attendee and pic-provider says,

There were 2 sponsors showcasing their stuff: Farecast and RedFin. FC had TONS of stuff there and a pretty neat product too. RedFin had a pretty barren room and a table full of gift bags which people hovered around but never asked for which lead to this exchange:

RedFin Employee: Who are the gift bags for?
RedFin Exec: They're for our customers.
RedFin Employee: Well who are our customers?

Duct tape on a garage door. OMG classy!

After the jump, more pics, with more sour-grapes comments.

A party is only as cool as the branded cars parked outside.

Everyone could tell this man had just wandered in and had nothing to do with the party when he yelled, "Get your magic black eye away from me before it robs my soul!"

Arrington checks to see if Fox Interactive is "buying" someone in the corner.

The Valley is like the band Menudo, except they kill off older members by spiking their pizza — as this man just realized.

Another grab-ass attempt foiled by a paper plate.

It's every boy's wet dream: get topless with Martha Stewart. At any rate, that guy in the shades looks jealous.

Al Gore, confused by the scenery, spent the whole time asking when the shuttle would blast off.

"I never attend a conference without my Wubby."

J. Peterman: "Elaine, you may call it Myanmar, but it will always be Burma to me."

"Ahahahaha, ahaha, aha...yes, yes, I am the love child of Steve Rubel and Tucker Carlson."

After host Kara Swisher was pried out from under the statesman's body, Mossberg wrote, "Lesson Learned: Don't offer Al Gore cake."

My god, Blodgett, you don't have to say yes to every conference invite.

Sandwiched between Al Gore and a big techie journalisty guy, Esther Dyson can't help but make an "I am cute and tiny!" face.

A moment of silence for the Guy Who Forgot to Bring Collared Shirts. (Don't be that guy.)

"No," says blog publisher Arianna Huffington, "I don't have any spare change. Now move away, you're standing in front of my Prius."

Walt Mossberg: "Whatever you do, let's please not make Marissa Mayer giggle."

Photos: D Conference [Dan Farber on Flickr]

"Looks great, doesn't he?" says Melinda Gates. "I left him alone at Bath and Body Works, and he picked himself a moisturizer."

Damn it, if Walt Mossberg hears one more story about that stinking John Markoff, he's switching to hard liquor.

Jean Louis Gassee: "I worked at Apple for nine years, and honestly, Steve's feet are this huge."

Martha's only smiling because she thinks that's Daler Mehndi.

After the jump, Mr. High Fidelity looks for a cooler conversationalist.

ZDNet king Eric Hippeau to serial entrepreneur Josh Felser: "Oh, my unbuttoned shirt is no accident, Josh. Let's dump this dump and go...share some war stories."

Lotus founder Mitch Kapor tells Answers.com founder Bob Rosenschein: "There's the 98-pound Dictionary.com guy. Let's go throw wine in his face."

Martha Stewart and her boyfriend, the man who built Word and Excel, Charles Simonyi. (They really are dating.)

The crowd was delighted as Walt and Kara performed a scene from A Streetcar Named Desire. "Listen, baby, when we first met - you and me - you thought I was common. Well, how right you was. I was common as dirt."

"Walt. WALT. Put down the Jack Daniel's and let's stop the 'I'll kill that ass Markoff' talk."

AOL exec Jason Calacanis pulls the Kawaii Anime Girl sign we all know and love. Meanwhile, the extinguished body of VC Yossi Vardi slumps in its chair.

"And we'll have a farm...with ethanol-fueled vehicles...and I can pet the rabbits! Tell me about the rabbits, Vinod!"

Dan's schwag. That damn Long Tail gets EVERYWHERE.

John Cusak pulls the over-the-shoulder glance, made easier because Kara Swisher is half his height.

Photos: D Conference [Dan Farber on Flickr]

Hacks and flacks wished Andrew Orlowski (pictured, the one with his hair on top) farewell last night with a calm happy hour at the Edinburgh Castle Pub. His exit dilutes the pool of Valley journalism, as the Register reporter was a long-time snarker and Google hound (one confident enough to snub Google Press Day). Now, after five years in the Valley, he's headed back to England.

At Orlowski's goodbye party last night, the crowd included John Gilmore (Sun employee #5 and the creator of alt.* on Usenet), long-time Apple troll John C. Dvorak, and ZDNet reporter Dan Farber. Even the NYT's John Markoff broke away from his crowd of screaming fangirls to raise a glass for Orlowski. Spark PR picked up the tab and fixed the guy-girl ratio. As 'wag readers know, PR ladies are the coolest.

After the jump, more photos from Farber.

"Hey Dvorak, make that face you made when you finally got spam today."

"And how many times have you awkwardly commented on Leo Laporte's delivery during This Week in Tech?"

With the death of TechTV, Screen Savers host Patrick Norton had to trade his leather briefcase for a Jansport backpack.

Photos: Andrew Orlowski Send Off [Dan Farber on Flickr]

The Weber Shandwick takeover of Valleywag continues with WS legal practice guru Lucas Mast's report on this week's Third Thursday. In this edition of the PR and marketing talk series, PR blogger Jeremy Pepper MC'd a panel of corporate-blogging masters. If you're feeling cynical this morning, just read Lucas's three bullets and be done with it. We'll see if our boy Lucas can learn to stop paying attention to the actual talks and give us the nitty gritty, like whether someone got Steve Rubel drunk. In the meantime, Mr. Bright and Sunny pimps Third Thursday.

PR and tech folks who chose to skip Third Thursday to watch the Will & Grace finale live missed a rare chance to quiz a trio of corporate PR vets who have launched blogs at their Silicon Valley companies. Some helpful hints in launching corporate blogs:

1. Lock your HR in a closet
2. Blindfold and tie up your Legal
3. Spell-check and edit C-level postings

OK, so the crowd that got insights from Cisco's Jeanette Gibson, Ingres' Cynthia Schott, and Net App's Jodi Bauman [pictured] did not hear any of the abovementioned advice. They DID get some very useful tips based on the trials and tribulations faced in launching their respective blogs including having a clear policy for employees blogging (whether endorsed by the company or not), encouraging frequent posting, working as needed with Legal to ensure that problems do not arise, figuring out ways to measure traffic and impact of the blog(s) and scaling blogs as appropriate within your company.

All in all, a great night of drinking, networking, and sharing ideas for successful a successful blog launch from those in the know. Great job Pepper and Co.

Check out Cisco's High Tech Policy Blog, Ingres CTO Dave Dargo's blog and Net App founder Dave Hitz's blog for the fruits of the speakers' labors.

Earlier Third Thursday: Guest story: TechCrunch says "Wired's gonna be my bitch" [Valleywag]

Paul Boutin puts it best: "Quick, someone throw a MacBook through the screen!"

Splunk booth hunk Vito. That's his name. No joke needed here.

An assistant holds Scott McNealy's official "Not the CEO!" buck-passing sign.

After the jump, much ado about coiffing.

"Look, all I know is that I came to this studio stoned, and I'm seeing all these M&M's that I cannot eat!"

"Oh yeah? Well — well — Jon Schwartz's ponytail is TEN times cooler than yours!"

Splunk's Christina Noren is about to sic Vito on this man's hair.

"Mumble mumble mumble Google chefs mumble mumble getting all the girls mumble spotlight-grabbing food hacks mumble..."