Gawker: valleywag, geeks

Universe turns out to be modeled on Dungeons & Dragons

Paul Boutin — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 03:45:37 EDT

Attached to the hilarious — if technically inaccurate — chart I blogged yesterday is an appreciation for D&D creator Gary Gygax, who died last week, penned by Wired editor Adam Rogers. "Gygax's genius was to give players a way to inhabit the characters inside their games, rather than to merely command faceless hordes, as you did in, say, the board game Risk." The unintended result: "Every time I make a tactical move, I'm counting my experience points, hoping I have enough dexterity and rolling the dice."

'The first rule of Fight Club is...'

Tim Faulkner — Fri, 25 May 2007 17:43:47 EDT

TIM FAULKNER — "The first rule of Fight Club is never talk about Fight Club," but some San Francisco tech workers have adopted their own rules according to WRCB TV. They've formed their own underground fight club, the Gentleman's Fighting Club, to release stress after work as programmers and engineers. Apparently, they are unaware that the film and book by Chuck Palahniuk is a work of fiction. Of course, geeks sometimes have difficulty discerning fantasy and reality and often take their favorite obsessions too far: whether it be Star Wars, Star Trek, Lord of the Rings, Battlestar Gallatica... or in this case Fight Club.

Also, like stereotypical geeks, the Gentleman's Fighting Club backs down from the more violent practices of their inspiration: "The fighters wear some protection: gloves, helmets and gear for below the belt and there are two "gentlemanly" rules: 1.) Do not try to put the other person in the hospital. 2.) Do not humiliate the other person." How is that supposed to relieve stress?

Now if only there was some video... few things more entertaining than a geek fight, besides the stereotypical cat and hobo fights.

How do I get my sysadmin to do anything?

Paul Boutin — Mon, 22 Jan 2007 13:08:18 EST

PAUL BOUTIN — What do those guys in Operations do all day? You can never get your systems administrator's help when you need it. That's because you haven't figured out how to grease the skids: Say hello, fill out the paperwork, and never forget the sysadmin's secret super power.No one sets out to be a professional systems administrator — do you ever see kids wearing toy pagers playing sysadmin? For those fluent with computers but uninterested in writing huge software programs, it's a pretty good job. Except for the part where they have to deal with you. Treat your admin accordingly, and you'll find your PC mysteriously runs better than anyone else's.

Say hello. Even when you don't need something. You say a big Hi to the pretty lady at the front desk every time you pass. Why not treat the tech guy the same? Sure, he doesn't say anything back. Don't be fooled. Sysadmins are like cats — he won't acknowledge you, but he's mentally keeping score.
Don't question what he does all day. Systems administrators are like firemen and cops. If you don't have a couple of bored ones hanging around, you'll be sorry when there's an emergency.
Fill out the stupid request form or other idiotic bureaucratic formality every time the printer jams. If you go directly to Joe Admin for help without putting a request in the system, you'll eventually get him fired. The CEO asks the department head for an automated help desk report to justify headcount, and see? What does that guy do all day? He doesn't even say hi.
Treat everything he does as a favor. Like most first-responder jobs, sysadmin is a career cul-de-sac — the only way out is to become, ugh, a manager. Let him savor the delusion that everyone envies his gig in Operations because he's got all the root passwords and triple-encrypted card keys to the server room.
Never forget: He can read your mail.

Paul Boutin is a former systems administrator.