Gawker: valleywag, iron man

Iron Man Is Being Created Right Now Across America

Graeme McMillan — Fri, 16 May 2008 12:45:26 EDT

If your second thought while watching Iron Man (after "I think I have a crush on Robert Downey Jr. again") was "Why can't they make an Iron Man suit in real life?" then the US army and scientists in Madison, Wisconsin, are planning on making you very, very happy indeed.

According to 1984's Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe, Iron Man's armor is able to, you know, exist, thanks to something called "biological circuit fabrication." This is a fancy way of saying that all the circuitry inside is very, very small, apparently... which happens to be exactly the kind of thing that scientists happen to be working on at this very moment:

[A] group of scientists led by Michael Sussman, director of University of Wisconsin, Madison's Biotechnology Center, and oceanography professor Virginia Armbrust of the University of Washington, are seeing if diatoms will help make even smaller integrated circuit chips by a similar process of biological fabrication... Sussman's interest in diatoms is based on the fact that diatoms are capable of creating lines of silica much smaller than present chip manufacturing processes can make out of silicon.
"If we can genetically control that process, we would have a whole new way of performing the nanofabrication used to make computer chips," says Sussman.

Smaller technology will undoubtedly be a blessing to the US Army, who are currently working on... hey... robotic suits to help them be better soldiers:

Rex Jameson bikes and swims regularly, and plays tennis and skis when time allows. But the 5-foot-11, 180-pound software engineer is lucky if he presses 200 pounds — that is, until he steps into an "exoskeleton" of aluminum and electronics that multiplies his strength and endurance as many as 20 times... Jack Obusek, a former colonel now with the Army's Soldier Research Development and Engineering Center in the Boston suburb of Natick, foresees robot-suited soldiers unloading heavy ammunition boxes from helicopters, lugging hundreds of pounds of gear over rough terrain or even relying on the suit's strength-enhancing capabilities to make repairs to tanks that break down in inconvenient locations.

Jack, Jack, Jack. You're thinking too small. Repulsor ray gloves and boot jets are the way of the future, trust me...

Microbes could build 'Iron Man' circuits [LiveScience]
Robotic suit could usher in super soldier era

Oracle CEO Larry Ellison is Iron Man

Nicholas Carlson — Thu, 15 May 2008 16:00:00 EDT

Besides creating one of the world's most successful tech companies, Larry Ellison invented the 5 o'clock shadow plus blazer look. He drives an Audi R8 to the gym — the car Top Gear's Jeremy Clarkson described as "like smearing honey onto Keira Knightley." Ellison also owns a gigantic high-tech yacht on to which he disappears for months at a time. Face it, people: He is Tony Stark, known as Iron Man in the press. And his employees think so, too. "Having watched the movie at an Oracle employees premiere," one writes, "I can agree and I'm sure so do my fellow Oracle employees." Clips for comparison, below.

Gizmodo Super Bowl XLII Tech Commercial Awards

Mark Wilson — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 10:00:15 EST

This year was a pretty incredible Super Bowl (especially after last year when one Giz staffer's hometown Bears lost). And while the most exciting 30 seconds this year were definitely late in the fourth quarter, the commercials, as always, held their own competition to captivate the audience. Here are our favorite tech-oriented spots from the night, designated with some awards that we pretty much made up after polishing off a sixer.

Best Product Placement - Iron Man
The Iron Man movie looks better with every second we see. But did the product placement pass you by? Keep your eyes peeled in the garage scene—Iron Man drives a Tesla Roadster. It's a nice car...but the guy can fly.

Best Lost Cause - HD DVD
This lame commercial plugging "what you watch after the game" was tossed in at the last moment. It's not even worth watching again, but here it is anyway.

Best High Concept - Audi R8 (Old Luxury)
Taking a lesson from The Godfather, a man wakes with an old (Bentley?) front end in his bed. Blood has been replaced with oil, and our longing with the R8.
Audi R8 Luxury Sports Car Super Bowl Commercial Ad

Best Laugh - ETrade.com (Clown Version Sequel)
The first baby stockbroker we met was kinda lame. But then we realized that the first ETrade commercial of the night was just a setup for a great payoff.
ETrade.com

Worst Punchline - Garmin
Little car, little military leader, little horse...and what about the GPS? Is it little or something?

Best Non-Commercial Commercial Moment - Football Terminated
You know that stupid Fox robo football player they've had for a few years as part of their graphics package? On three occasions, the Terminator came in and beat the shit out of him. And damn, it was fulfilling.

Strangest Cross Branding - Ford (regional commercial)
Ford pitches you a Fusion with a free iPhone...to use with Sync...a Microsoft product. And they use an iPod touch commercial style. Very weird. (And note: if this commercial existed before tonight, we're sorry. We use something called 'DVR' so we're a bit out of touch.)

Best Adolescent Humor - AMP Energy
There were sparking nipple clamps, I mean, c'mon.
Amp Energy

Lowest Kick To Disney's Balls - CareerBuilder.com (Follow Your Heart)
Singing crickets just don't have it as easy as they used to.
Career Builder Superbowl Commercial: Follow Your Heart

Best Overall Commercial - FedEx Pigeons
The fisheye POV shot from the carrier pigeon's enhanced eyewear sealed the deal. But GPS and nightvision can only do so much when you're a pigeon.
Fedex Super Bowl Ad: Carrier Pigeons Bad Choice for Shipping