Driving kids away from blogging once and for all. When blogs are safe for announcing corporate earning reports — when Mom and Dad drive an hour each way just to pull down a salary for clicking "Save" in Movable Type — you know they won't touch a blog, even if you paid them. Well, maybe if you paid them.

After [more than ten] years in Sun's Marketing organization, I am bidding you all a fond farewell today. It's been a great ride. Although I haven't always agreed with every decision made, I have always been impressed with the quality of people in marketing. Funny, smart, passionate, and adaptable. I can't begin to express my thanks for providing such a phenomenal work environment. I've learned a tremendous amount and enjoyed it along the way.

No question, this is a tough time as I've spent most of my adult life working for Sun, but I'm very optimistic and excited about what's next on the horizon for me.

I truly hope that Sun will be successful in the future (and not just because I still own a boat-load of stock), but because I am leaving lots of great friends here.

Best wishes to everyone staying and those who are leaving today,

The company then trotted out the likes of Ian freed, Amazon.com's VP on the Kindle project, and Rikko Sakaguchi, SVP at Sony Ericsson, to explain how their devices were using Java. A Sun software engineer and designer showed off Java-powered apps, such as the ConnectedLife widget which travels from Facebook to desktop client to mobile device. (He did not mention that Facebook has dropped support for Java.) Green announced that the latest build of the Java software was available today, and that the developers suite, OpenJDK, now supports popular Linux distributions Ubuntu and Red Hat, with a Fedora release within a month.

A software-emulated mobile device was shown running Google's Android — presumably the two companies have made nice. But beyond the OpenJDK announcement, nary a word was spoken about the enterprise market and if any role for Java in datacenter applications was mentioned, I missed it. I was listening for Green or CEO Jonathan Schwartz to say something, anything, about the company's quarterly earnings and new revenue streams. Instead, he talked about how the latest Java releases will be free and open-source.

I guess the company will make their coin providing support to the device manufacturers who use the JavaME mobile platform or the JavaFX suite of multimedia tools — competing with other application development environments such as Adobe Flash and Microsoft Silverlight. Problem is, Sun's tools for content developers require a level of Java expertise well above that required by Adobe's easy-to-use Flash tools, and both Flash and Silverlight are also being licensed for free to device manufacturers. But hey, did we mention Neil Young?

I eat to refuel. To him, it's an experience. ... I probably wouldn't remember where we went. You're wasting money on a good meal with me. With a skillet and a microwave, I can cook just about anything I want to eat. ... Son of a gun. I don't think that cheapskate has taken me out to dinner. That's why I hired him. He's cheap.

• "Sorry I haven't posted on my blog..." [the f blog via Boing Boing]
• "Delivering eyeballs to advertisers," 27-year-old founders, excitement about search engine optimization, middleman status, and stretched comparisons to MySpace and YouTube — which is your favorite sign that New York Times subject Oversee.net is a Bubble 1.0 company trapped in Bubble 2.0? [NY Times]
• Have you seen a California license plate reading "Web Geek"? Can you return it to this driver? [Backup Brain]
• In the midst of Silicon Valley's stock option backdating scandal, remember how legal backdating works. [Fortune]
• Leah Culver, she of the ad-supported MacBook Pro, coded the Benniferizer. Sure, you could use it to hook up your lovey-dovey's name (Leah assures me she doesn't see what's entered), or you could play dot-com matchmaker. Sun + Apple = Supple. [Benniferizer]
• Professional trendwatcher watchers find that the wisdom of the few can outweigh the wisdom of the crowds, which means the last five years have just been leading us back to respect for experts. [Washington Post]
• Sun CEO Jon Schwartz says he's too badass for Moore's Law. [CRN]

Valleywag readers, congrats on your your reactions to the NY Times photo of Sun's CEO gazing into space! Commenter wagsport, yours was just weird, so you get banned. The rest of you, seek therapy.

Commenter stucoates wins "best caption" with the line, "Someone please help me, I've got my ponytail caught in this rack!" Stu, e-mail tips@valleywag.com with your address to claim your prize, the book Stephanie's Ponytail.

If you see a photo begging for a caption, clip and send to (with a link to the source) tips@valleywag.com with the subject "Caption this."

Earlier: Caption Contest: What is Jon "Ponytail" Schwartz thinking?

Caption this photo in the comments. (No comment account? Enter a new username and password and a perfect caption could win you a spot in the comment club.) Best caption wins a copy of "Stephanie's Ponytail."

It's a Shipping Container. No, It's a Data Center in a Box. [NY Times]

Right now, says Schwartz, Sun has to disclose this info through a conference call with investors or through a press release issued to newspapers. The SEC rules are supposed to ensure that the public can all equally access the info, but Schwartz figures the Internet is more public than a phone convo or an article in the Wall Street Journal.

And, well, who can argue with that? Maybe not even the SEC chair. So here's a toast to Jonathan Schwartz, who might soon make business history.

One Small Step for the Blogosphere... [Jonathan's Blog]

Sure, there are some mockably grandiose statements, like "Asking the question 'Why does Sun matter' is the equivalent of asking 'Why does the Internet matter?'" But there's also a cute story about Schwartz explaining Internet network clients to his five-year-old daughter.

All in all, this little chat isn't earth-shattering (at one point Schwartz seems to confuse increased phone-texting use with increased Java app use), but it's good for personal color, a way to see Schwartz "beyond the ponytail" and all. Scoble promises more such CEO interviews to come.

Jonathan Schwartz on why Sun Microsystems is relevant [ScobleShow]

• MTV, in an effort to prove that the level of discourse in a virtual world can indeed get stupider than World of Warcrafters asking "how i mine for fish," will launch "Virtual Laguna Beach" for boob-tubers who can't be sexy and carefree beach-goers in the real world. [NY Times]
• It was wrong to doubt that Sun CEO Jonathan Schwartz (pictured), proud owner of a house "on the edge of the Mission district" and wearer of a "look how different I am" ponytail, was anything but a hipster. He tells the Associated Press that he asks colleagues if they've read his blog. Yep, just like every trustafarian in San Francisco. [Washington Post]
• Telecom Italia buys the German division of AOL for $855 million. The company thought it was bidding on a rare AOL 1.0 floppy disk. [NY Times]
• "What does it say about the boom in social networking Web sites that the latest one to attract outside investors is devoted not to singles or indie bands but to dogs?" It says Dogster's users don't realize the point of getting a dog — to meet people in the park, dammit, not on Internet message boards. [NY Times]

In other words, he's ready to sell this puppy.

Sun's been shopping itself for a while. Everyone knows that, but no one knows who will buy. Apple? Google? Hewlett-Packard (snicker)? Whoever it is, if Doerr feels safe enough to let Sun go, he must have finally found someone to take it off his hands.

Next: Who will replace Jonathan Schwartz, Sun's interim CEO?

Longtime Sun director Doerr to step down [ZDNet]

The high-tech version of Gillette's marketing strategy of giving away the razors and selling the refills could be implemented at Sun Microsystems if CEO Jonathan Schwartz's plans for "Project Mercury" take hold.

No wonder Schwartz bugged General Motors to give its cars away as loss leaders for the OnStar service. "Schwartz, the guy with the give-away-the-Cadillac business model" is much sexier than "Schwartz, the guy with the give-away-the-Venus-Vibrance business model."

Sun May Give Away The Blades [InternetFinancialNews]